You know the spell for unlocking doors (Alohomora!). You know the difference between Horcruxes and Hippogriffs. You even know what house you'd be in were you to attend Hogwarts (c'mon, you know you'd be a Hufflepuff). But do you know which of the Harry Potter movies (so far) is your favorite?

Do you appreciate the child-like innocence of The Sorcerer's Stone? Or perhaps the gothic Prisoner of Azkaban suits your steampunk sensibility. The Goblet of Fire is great for those with a competitive instinct (at least those who can't quite manage to sit through an hour of SportsCenter). And The Order of the Phoenix? Great for any aspiring politicians out there -- after all, you don't get to be the Minister of Magic with mere sorcery.

There's a Potter for every person out there, but only one can be named "The Best Harry Potter Movie Ever." So cast your vote today!

When Terminator Salvation hits theaters this week, John Connor (Christian Bale) will finally face the threat he's been running from -- in one form or another -- his entire life. Indeed, Skynet's Terminators are the model killing machines, undeterred in their quest to rid themselves of this particular human being despite decades of failure, an incalculable loss of man, er, machine-power and no less than five different actors playing Connor himself.

Still, you can't blame a 'borg for trying. If nothing else, the machines' efforts have made for some damn fine scifi -- though, not all Terminators are created equal. Can McG's new chapter surpass its predecessors?

Hey everybody, Dr. SciFi here, and today we're talking about the emotional lives of Terminators. Now I know what you're thinking: "But Dr. SciFi, robots don't have emotions. Also, can I see your medical license?" And to that I say, "You're wrong," and "It's in... uh... storage." The robots in the Terminator Universe (or T-U, as I like to call it) have some of the most complex emotional lives of any movie characters ever. Maybe even more so than that stick-in-the-mud John Connor. But that's an analysis for another time. Let's get into it, shall we?

The first time we ever meet these mechanical wonders, is in the form of a modified T-800, the first Terminator to be covered in living tissue. This, of course, causes some conflict: An only child is always the first to lash out in a conflict, and the T-800 reacts in predictable ways, attacking Sarah Connor, the mother of his mother's (Skynet) greatest enemy. Seeking a parent's approval is something only children deal with frequently, and the inevitable letdown is always a crushing blow. In this case, that crushing blow takes the form of a hydraulic press.

Continue reading "Dr. SciFi Diagnoses Sibling Rivalry Among the Terminators" »

You have to admire NASA's persistence. After myriad flybys, landers, rovers and probes; crashes, misses, malfunctions, and missteps, we're still searching for life on Mars. First there was the Mars rover that drove around taking candids of the (barren) surface. Now there's the $420 million lander Phoenix, which touched down on the surface of Big Red late last month after a 296-day journey. Its mission: To search for water.

Bad idea.

If science fiction has taught us anything, it's that whatever lifeform comes at us from that planet, it's bound to be downright nasty. In fact, according to the movies, there are only two possible outcomes for the discovery of life on Mars.

Scenario A: Martians as Demons
As Seen in: John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars, Doom

Continue reading "Movies Continually Defame Martians As Demons or Invaders" »

We're not even through February of 2008 and the rumor mill is hard at work on the slate of science fiction films coming in 2009.

First came the news that J.J. Abrams' Star Trek prequel would be pushed to next May, which had bookies and book nerds alike wondering how much damage it would do to Marvel's Wolverine spinoff. And now today brought news that McG's Terminator fourquel, starring Christian Bale and Sam Worthington, will also have a May 2009 release date. But which futuristic franchise has what it takes to win the month at the box office?

Last week the Scanner reported rumors that metal thrasher and all-around-weirdo Rob Zombie was in talks to direct a sequel to Conan the Barbarian. Well, it now seems he is just one of the directors that has been approached about the loinclothed project. Neil Marshall, the Brit whose upcoming horror flick Doomsday looks, well, awesome, is in talks, as is Hitman helmer Xavier Gens. Rob and Xavier may have cooler names, but do they have the right stuff for the job?

Pictures from the new Indiana Jones movies are now cropping up like snakes in a tomb. In recent days we've seen glimpses of Harrison Ford holding a bazooka, the titular Crystal Skull, and of course Cate Blanchett looking extremely, well, Reichish, holding a sword against Ford's throat.

But she won't be the first woman to try to handle Jones' whip. Who do you think is the good Doctor's most eligible bachelorette?

1. Move over Da Vinci, the cast of Battlestar Galactica posed for a Last Supper portrait riddled with clues about the upcoming fourth and final season. Who does Chief Tyrol want to stab? Who's the final Cylon? Why is Caprica Six posing as Jesus?

2. What could be better than three new Terminator movies starring Christian Bale? How about an Animatrix-style tie-in, Termination, due to be released in 2009? We see no need to Fight this Future.

3. The force is strong with this 11-year-old Brit, who chivalrously used his plastic lightsaber to fend off attacks from a would-be assailant. "I have a very bad feeling about this," was heard escaping Han Solo's lips as geeks everywhere began strapping arsenals of Hasbro phasers and blasters to their belts.

4. Serve Jennifer Garner an extra-live portion of Gagh, because the actress has recently confided she wants to play a Klingon in J.J. Abrams' upcoming Star Trek remake.

5. Hayden Christiansen, the actor who transformed Darth Vader from a Dark Lord into a whiny zit-popper, set his sights on cyperpunk by signing on to tackle the lead role in an adaptation of William Gibson's genre-defining Neuromancer.

SciFi Dept Video: Kevin Maher, through his painstaking analysis of the 1980 SciFi musical The Apple, proves once and for all that American Idol is actually a means of controlling the proletariat via fascist propaganda.