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Mary Robinette Kowal

Mary Robinette Kowal - The Eight Worst Anachronisms in Fantasy

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There are two types of anachronisms in fantasy: intentional and accidental. The former -- when a modern item is introduced for comic effect, as when the audience sings "We Will Rock You" at a joust in A Knight's Tale -- often amuse me. The latter type amuse me in a much different way, because many of them could have been solved by having an intern check dates. There's fantasy, then there's just plain forgetfulness. Today we'll look at the eight biggest offenders.

8. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
Raiders_Ark_125.jpgWhen Indiana Jones is flying around the world, the lines on the screen show the world as it appears in 1981 when the movie was released -- not the 1930s when it was set. Really? It would have killed someone to take a period atlas and check? I mean, it's not like we don't know that borders got moved around back then. This minor snafu with the movie's travel plot device earns it the eight spot.

7. The Green Mile (1991)
Set in Louisiana in 1935, The Green Mile shows a series of executions in an Electric Chair. It's dramatic and horrifying, and also five years too early. In 1935, convicts were executed by hanging. On the other hand, prisoner Eduard Delacroix (Michael Jeter) has the November 1937 issue of Weird Tales, so maybe 1935 isn't a firm date.

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Tags: 10000 BC, ever after, kate and leopold, king arthur, raiders of the lost ark, robin hood: prince of thieves, the green mile, the ten commandments

Mary Robinette Kowal - Is Carrie Horror or Dark Fantasy? Depends How Easily You Scare

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Let me start with a confession: Despite the fact that I write horror and sell it, I can't read or watch it. Let's just say I'm a screamer. Popcorn flies. But the distance I place between myself and horror puts me in an ideal position to talk about the fine line between supernatural horror and dark fantasy. The genres cross more often than you would think, and sometimes, the distinction comes down to a simple question: How badly does it scare you? But in addition to that subjectivity, there are a few factors that can help you decide which genre a fantasy/horror hybrid best clings to. Let's look at some candidates.

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Edward Scissorhands (1990)
One could make a strong argument for Tim Burton's movie as a horror, partly because it's a take on the Frankenstein story and partly because Tim Burton is always dark. But Edward's scissor-hands introduce tragedy to the tale -- he can't touch anyone he cares about without hurting them. As such there's an element of sadness and longing that runs through the whole movie, so it tends to lean it more towards fantasy.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
On the other hand, so to speak... this movie features a character like Edward, in that Freddy Krueger has blades for fingers, but he stands firmly in the realm of horror. What's the difference between Freddy and Eddie? Body count: Freddy Krueger maims and kills throughout the franchise, making it painfully obvious that no one is safe. With Edward, there's the risk he might hurt someone; with Freddy, it's a promise.

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Tags: a nightmare on elm street, carrie, edward scissorhands, night of the living dead, pan's labyrinth, shaun of the dead, something wicked this way comes

Mary Robinette Kowal - Ten Costumes to Make Your Halloween Fantastic

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Around this time of year, I start to get lots of friends asking me what they should be for Halloween. It's one of the perils of being a professional puppeteer, I suppose. Fortunately, fantasy has lots of ready inspiration for costumes, and it's perfect for people who are scrambling at the last minute. You know who you are...

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Pirate Stooge from Pirates of the Caribbean
Dead-simple. Open your closet, grab a striped shirt and a pair of dark pants. Tuck them into your boots and tie a bandana around your head. If you want to be ambitious, buy a cheap Halloween skeleton and slip one of the arms up your sleeve for when the moonlight hits. Don't forget the ration of rum.
Bonus Accessories: Gold hoop earring, sword
Candy: Chocolate gold coins

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Coraline from Coraline
You could wear just about any teen friendly clothes for this one, but add striped tights, galoshes and a yellow raincoat and you'll be stepping into Coraline's shoes. Her messenger bag makes the perfect satchel for holding treats. Add a cheap blue wig, or make one from yarn or paper and you're good to go.
Bonus Accessories: Key, black cat
Candy: Salt water taffy

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Tags: conan the destroyer, coraline, harry potter, hellboy, pirates of the caribbean, stardust, the prestige, the princess bride, the spiderwick chronicles, twilight

Mary Robinette Kowal - Nine Candidates for the Next Where the Wild Things Are

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When I first heard Spike Jonze was adapting Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are as a feature, my reaction was along the lines of Buh-Wha? I mean, the story has nine sentences. Nine. You see, in order to make a successful transition to screen, a picture book has to have sufficient conflict to withstand expansion while still maintaining a sense of wonder. By most reports, Wild Things actually pulled it off. So in honor of its nine-sentence leap, here are nine picture books I would like to see following in its footsteps, er, paw-steps.

1. Corduroy by Don Freeman
It's perfect! A small toy bear gets lost in a big department store searching desperately for a lost button. Lisa, the girl who brings him home, is wonderful too, scraping together the money to buy him all by herself. The 1984 TV adaptation was a paltry 16 minutes. Give me a feature that expands on our two heroes' efforts any day. Think Spike Jonze could be talked into it?

2. Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crockett Johnson
Grant me the power of that purple crayon so I can create the world! Whatever Harold draws with his crayon comes to life. This too had an animated TV adaptation, but give the property to Henry Selick and Laika Studios (of Coraline fame) and let the wonder really begin. See, this would be a great story for Selick's stylized stop motion as Harold's drawings go from 2D to 3D. A veritable visual feast, I say.

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Tags: where the wild things are

Mary Robinette Kowal - Attack of the Stereotypes! Native Americans in Fantasy

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As Columbus Day approaches, you'll hear people talk endlessly about the Italian mapmaker and his discovery of America. Of course, such talk ignores the fact that people had been living here in thriving civilizations for thousands of years before he arrived. To honor the holiday, let's take a look at how fantasy movies treat the folks who got here first.

Native Americans as Injuns

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)
When I was a kid, we played cowboys and Indians with no understanding of either group's culture. That's not really surprising for a bunch of 8-year-olds. Hollywood producers, on the other hand, are still content to turn out movies that portray Native American as savages. Hence the hilarity that ensues when Johnny Depp has to stage an improbable escape from being served as dessert to an island full of them. Thanks for perpetuating that bloodthirsty stereotype.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)
This movie heads down South America and fiddles with Mayan culture. Then it tosses in warriors from the invented Ugha people, so that our five heroes can have someone beside Nazis chasing them for a change. Inventing a tribe doesn't absolve one of perpetuating stereotypes. Just ask Depp's Captain Jack about the Pelegostoans.

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Tags: dead man, indian in the cupboard, indiana jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull, night at the museum, peter pan, pirates of the caribbean, pocahontas, the neverending story, windrunner

Mary Robinette Kowal's Guide to the Real Classics of Fantasy

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There's this progression where someone comes up with a new idea, and then someone else copies it until it becomes cliché, and then it becomes a trope and then a genre. Today we're looking at the fantasy movies that started it all -- the ones whose ideas were so groundbreaking they spawned the atmosphere that Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings would come to dominate. A word of warning: If you watch some of these today you'll think they are cliched -- but just remember who invented it.

The Thief of Baghdad (1924)
Thief-Baghdad-125.jpgThis is arguably the very first fantasy feature. The second title card in the classic silent says, "Verily the works of those gone before us have become instances and examples to men of our modern day..." How true! The movie's cutting edge special effects, casts of thousands, and story with a sweeping epic sprawl made audiences fall in love with the genre. Thief of Baghdad spawned two remakes and, in many ways, Raiders of the Lost Ark is its descendant -- the story of a clever thief fighting the forces of evil.

King Kong (1933)
King-Kong-125.jpgThe 50-foot ape is so iconic, it's hard to picture the Empire State Building without him. This landmark movie introduced the world to the idea of giant monster flicks, but more specifically, giant monsters wreaking havoc on New York City. You can see its descendants in everything from Ghostbusters to Cloverfield, and its enduring influence on today's fantasy directors. (There's a reason Peter Jackson went straight from Lord of the Rings to a Kong remake.)

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Tags: beauty and the beast, edward scissorhands, excalibur, highlander, jason and the argonauts, king kong, lost horizon, snow white, the dark crystal, the thief of baghdad

Mary Robinette Kowal - The Fantastic Stylings of David Bowie

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Even before he made the transition to acting, David Bowie had an otherworldly air about him. His three year stint as Ziggy Stardust wasn't just about wearing a costume; it was about creating an entire world and history for a character. It's no surprise, then, that Bowie's movie career has taken good advantage of that eldritch nature, casting him in roles that are just a step to the side of a mortal. Herewith, the (mostly) fantastic movie career of The Thin White Duke.

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Mr. Rice's Secret (2000)
This is one of those "movies I watched so you don't have to." Though Bowie does a fine job with the role he's given, he's been horribly, horribly miscast. Sure, using his otherworldly qualities to represent the enigmatic Mr. Rice sounds good on paper, but David Bowie in flannel? There are many things he can do, but looking ordinary is not one of them. On top of that, Mr. Rice is masquerading as a teacher. Even at his most benign, Bowie exudes a dangerous sexuality, which is the last thing you want for a teacher who happens to be your teenage son's "special friend."

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Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992)
Admittedly, Bowie's role in this just a bit part -- but he's so good at it. His character appears out of nowhere after living the last two years "in a nightmare," and he makes you believe it. Whatever that's happened to him is so visceral, it seems almost natural when he vanishes into thin air. It's a tribute to his ability to appear so "other" that his absence is more unnerving than his presence. When he's in front of the camera, he creates a sense of danger and just plain weirdness.

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Tags: labyrinth, mr. rice's secret, the hunger, the man who fell to earth, the prestige, twin peaks: fire walk with me

Mary Robinette Kowal - Precogs and Ray Guns Have No Place in True SciFi

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Mary_Robinette_Kowal.jpg As Orson Scott Card says, "A rustic setting always suggests fantasy; to suggest science fiction, you need sheet metal and plastic. You need rivets." But if you're being scrupulous, it breaks down more like this: Magic gets to break the laws of nature. Science doesn't. And that goes for science-fiction, too: It might do things that aren't currently possible, but as soon as it starts breaking the laws of physics it has stepped out of science and into fantasy. Here are some of the red flags that will let you know you've trespassed into the heart of science fantasy turf.

The Precognition Myth

Precognition breaks one of the basic laws of physics, that of causality or the law of cause and effect. I know what you're thinking. In a film like Minority Report, knowing the future allows you to change it, thus preserving the laws of cause and effect. The problem here comes in when you look at how the information could come from the future to the present. To paraphrase physicist Michio Kaku, any electron from the future is just fulfilling its own past. In other words, it can't carry any information from the future without violating the laws of causality. Sorry, fans: Minority Report looks like science fiction, but it is pure fantasy. And that's nothing compared to...

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Tags: godzilla, minority report, science fantasy, star trek, star wars, them!

Mary Robinette Kowal - Single Hero Seeking Sidekick? Look No Further

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It's not easy being a hero on a quest. In addition to battling demons (inner or outer) and ya know, being heroic, there's all the piddly details of questing. Who wants to think about the practicalities when there are deeds to be done! Maidens to rescue! Dragons to defeat! That's why the truly savvy never venture out without a sidekick. Are you in the market for a loyal henchman? Check out the fantasy classifieds to find your perfect partner in quest.

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SWM - Thorough familiarity with the jails and underground of Aquila. No combat skills, but good at skulking, stealing, and stealth. Very discrete. Can be trusted not to take advantage of cursed state. Works well under pressure, though needs assistance when cornered. Recently completed adventure in the forests around Abruzzo.
Referral: Captain Navarre of Aquila
Ask for: Mouse of Ladyhawke

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SDM - Loyal and true. Extremely good at video games providing strong hand and eye coordination. Fearsome appearance can be powerful deterrent. Good at spotting dangers others may overlook. Natural green coloring offers camouflage and plastic skin is stain resistant. Recently infiltrated The Toy Barn and removed kidnapped operative. Warning: Startles easily and suffers from inferiority complex.
Referral: Woody the Cowboy
Ask for: Rex of Toy Story

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SGM - Of extraordinarily large size; mere presence can be enough to make opponents drop their weapons. Combat skills include wrestling, bar brawls, and group melees. Works best in a team environment and enjoys word games. Last action, participated in overthrow of Prince Humperdinck and retrieval of hostage.
Referral: The Dread Pirate Roberts
Ask for: Fezzik the Giant of The Princess Bride

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Tags: charlie and the chocolate factory, golden compass, harry potter, hellboy, ladyhawke, lord of the rings, peter pan, shrek, the princess bride, toy story

Mary Robinette Kowal - Hit the (Yellow Brick) Road With Fantasy's Ten Best Treks

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My husband and I are moving cross-country. In fact, I should be in a giant truck driving out of New York City when this column goes up. Not surprisingly, my head is full of nothing but packing and my apartment is full of nothing but boxes. But I am looking forward to the road trip. We'll be staying with different friends all along the route, which makes it less a chore and more an adventure. Anticipating that, today we'll look at the best road trip movies in fantasy.

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10. Highlander (1986)
This gets the prize for the longest time spent on a journey -- if not the most quality time. Beginning in 1518 in the village of Glenfinnan on the shores of Loch Shiel, Connor MacLeod (Christopher Lambert) travels to Japan, Germany, Boston and finally winds up in New York City. It's a long and lonely road as he outlives everyone he knows -- but at least there are plenty of heads to chop along the way.
Favorite Tourist Attraction: Brocket Hall

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9. The Dark Crystal (1982)
Sure, there are prophecies and threats, but what really makes this movie shine is the voyage that Jen (Stephen Garlick / Jim Henson / Kiran Shah) goes on to get from the valley of the Mystics to the great castle of the Skeksis. In this case, the landscape becomes as much a character as any of the creatures -- and you know how much I love me the creatures.
Favorite Tourist Attraction: Aughra's Observatory

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8. Stardust (2007)
This one has a load of transportation options: Tristan (Charlie Cox) and Yvaine (Claire Danes) travel by foot, unicorn, carriage, candle, and flying ship to get back to the wall between worlds. Like every good road trip, the journey brings our two lovers closer together. The only trick is, Yvaine can't go home with Tristan or she'll turn to dust. What's a road trip without a little spontaneity? They change their destination plans and still manage to make it happily ever after.
Favorite Tourist Attraction: Captain Shakespeare's ship

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Tags: highlander, lord of the rings, stardust, the dark crystal, the fall, the forbidden kingdom, the neverending story, the phantom tollbooth, the wizard of oz

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