Mary Robinette Kowal - The Eight Worst Anachronisms in Fantasy
There are two types of anachronisms in fantasy: intentional and accidental. The former -- when a modern item is introduced for comic effect, as when the audience sings "We Will Rock You" at a joust in A Knight's Tale -- often amuse me. The latter type amuse me in a much different way, because many of them could have been solved by having an intern check dates. There's fantasy, then there's just plain forgetfulness. Today we'll look at the eight biggest offenders.
8. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
When Indiana Jones is flying around the world, the lines on the screen show the world as it appears in 1981 when the movie was released -- not the 1930s when it was set. Really? It would have killed someone to take a period atlas and check? I mean, it's not like we don't know that borders got moved around back then. This minor snafu with the movie's travel plot device earns it the eight spot.
7. The Green Mile (1991)
Set in Louisiana in 1935, The Green Mile shows a series of executions in an Electric Chair. It's dramatic and horrifying, and also five years too early. In 1935, convicts were executed by hanging. On the other hand, prisoner Eduard Delacroix (Michael Jeter) has the November 1937 issue of Weird Tales, so maybe 1935 isn't a firm date.
6. The Ten Commandments (1956)
Let's start with the zipper on the back of Bithiah's (Nina Foch) dress. Then move on to the colors used for the clothing -- all of which require hard core acid-based dyes which weren't available in ancient Egypt. While you're at it, admire the lace on Nefertiti's bra. I don't know which is worse, the lace or the bra.
5. Kate and Leopold (2001)
Leopold, Duke of Albany, (Hugh Jackman) comes from 1876, which begs the question of how exactly he could know the plot for the opera La Boheme when it didn't premiere until 1896. I suspect it's the same phenomenon that allows a U.S. flag with 50 stars on it to jump from a year when we only had 37 states. A trip to the library could really have helped here.
4. 10,000 B.C. (2008)
If D'Leh (Steven Straight) lives in the stone age, exactly how does he keep his beard so neatly trimmed? I know, he's picked up a razor from the Atlanteans. It's not clear where the story is set, but from the sabre-tooth tigers and the terror birds, it ought to be North or South America. Of course, terror birds went extinct 1.8 million years before the movie starts. Horses, by contrast, weren't domesticated until 4,000 years later and didn't reach the Americas until the 1600s. Oh, those pesky archeological records...
3. King Arthur (2004)
We'll skip the question of what the heck Kiera Knightly is wearing, and go straight to the war technology: Barbed wire doesn't get invented until 1874. That's okay, they seem to have access to a modern store since the hilts of their swords are held on with Torx bolts. Maybe they got their swords at Ikea? Still, at least this movie obeys the laws of physics, unlike our next fallible fantasy.
2. Ever After (1998)
The Prince saves the Mona Lisa by rolling it into a tube, which is a pretty good trick since it's painted on wood. Maybe it's a theme, since at one point Danielle says that her stepmother shops like she has "money to burn." There is no paper money for several hundred years, but hey, if you can roll wood maybe you can burn metal. Oh, here's one that's pervasive in a lot of movies: All the shoes are for left and right feet, but that idea wasn't invented until the 1820s.
1. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)
Where do I start? First, there's this telescope that Azeem (Morgan Freeman) has, which comes in handy. It's too bad that refracting telescopes weren't invented for another couple of hundred years. (I wonder if that makes this movie science fiction?) A more common one, which you see variations of in a lot of movies, is the collection of tan lines that the cast members sport. Sure, tan lines would exist, but the Speedo? That's a pretty distinctive shape, and yet Robin Hood has them. And let's not get into Kevin Costner's American accent, which careens this fantasy into the Number 1 spot.
What's your favorite fantasy anachronism? Let me know in the comments.
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Mary Robinette Kowal is the winner of the 2008 John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer and a professional puppeteer. Her first novel, Shades of Milk and Honey, is being published by Tor in 2010.
One of my favorite movie anachronisms is found in John Boorman's Excalibur.
Throughout the movie - set in the "Dark Ages" (400 - 950) - the knights wore full suits of plate armor - sometimes filthy, dented and dull, other times polished to a mirror finish - and all times about 1100 years too early. Plate armor, though used by the Romans in a limited fashion, didn't appear in the West until the 13th century - in response to more sophisticated projectile weapons. The full suits, that appear in the movie would not have been available until the 16th century, at the earliest.
Can a fantasy, as opposed to a historical fiction, really have anachronisms? I'm not even sure myself.
I've always liked Buliwyf's 16th century milanese plate cuirass and pauldrons in The 13th Warrior (anachronism aside, he looks fantastic in it). I knew 10th century Vikings raided far and wide but I didn't know they could travel through time. The band of vikings in the movie obviously hit the 16th century hard since theres also a tartan from the 1500s and a few bits of conquistador armor from the same era distributed among the group.
Litac: I would have included Excalibur but Boorman makes it clear that he tried to set make it ahistorical, in part because the original errors were in Mallory and in part to make it a larger myth. If you'll notice, in the film, they always say "The Land" and never name the country. So I counted that as a deliberate anachronism.
Sarcastro: If the fantasy is claiming to be in a historical period, yes, it can have anachronisms. The 13th Warrior is a great example and I should have included it.
Well I can't begin to list the number of films that get everything from dress to swords wrong.
Oddly, the list of films that get just about every thing right about the Middle Ages would be Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail. But then, they did do the research.
Yeah, on costumes it would have been easier to list the films that get it right. But then, this would have been a very, very short column.
I can accept the anachronistic armor in Excalibur, but making love while wearing it? Ouch! Weight aside, there's just too many opportunities for severe pinching to even contemplate.
Listing the "Ten Commandments" as fantasy is very brave. Many people living here in Kentucky would disagree with you. Don't worry, I won't tell Fox News.
Mary, Horses evolved in the Americas and disappeared from here about 10K years ago.
Michael: Well... I'll be. I withdraw my objection to horses existing, although will stand by the lack of domestication. Equus complicatus, indeed.
Here's one-"Donnie Darko" is set in 1988, yet his sister has an Ariel doll..."The Little Mermaid" wasn't released until the following year.