The Ten Most Dastardly Supervillain Quotes
Ah, the arrogant supervillain. Is anyone more in love with the sound of his own voice? Hurling witty bon mots and dastardly threats may not physically harm the hero, but the right line can mean the difference between becoming the next Joker... or the next joke. Here are ten that strike fear in the hearts of heroes.
10. "My name is Freeze. Learn it well, for it is the chilling sound of your doom." (Mr. Freeze, Batman & Robin, 1997)
"Chilling." Get it? Because he's Mr. Freeze! Honestly, any of the many ridiculous ice puns in Akiva Goldsman's "brilliant" screenplay for Batman & Robin could be on this list. But this one is so wonderfully awful it somehow becomes good before going back to awful. And the fact that it's delivered in a barely decipherable Austrian accent is just (forgive me) icing on the cake.
9. "We are the future, Charles. Not them. They no longer matter." (Magneto, X-Men, 2000)
The great Ian McKellen has a way with a words ("You shall not pass!"), making even the most pedestrian comic book movie dialogue sound like Shakespeare. (I'm looking at you, X-Men 3.) More than a cheap threat, the line sums up Magneto's belief in mutant superiority over mankind. When McKellan is on screen, everyone else is extinct.
8. "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?" (Joker, Batman, 1989)
In typical Joker fashion, the line is both menacing and nonsensical. Jack Napier/Joker asks this of all his prey, because he just plain likes the sound of it. If he had used a different line on poor little Bruce Wayne, perhaps elder Wayne would never have figured out that Napier killed his parents. And when sampled in Prince's "Batdance," it sounds a whole lot better than Joker's less quotable witticism, "This town needs an enema."
7. "I'm not a comic book villain. Do you seriously think I would explain my master stroke to you if there were even the slightest possibility you could affect the outcome?" (Ozymandias, Watchmen, 2009)
Alan Moore's chilling twist on the old "supervillain blabs his diabolical scheme to the hero" trope is one of my favorite scenes in both the graphic novel and Zack Snyder's adaptation. Yes, it's more effective (and slightly different) on the page, but a great quote is a great quote in any medium.
6. "There was one Napoleon, one Washington, one me!" (Big Boy Caprice, Dick Tracy, 1990)
Al Pacino's arrogant crime lord fancies himself "the law" and is fond of quoting famous minds like Ben Franklin and Friedrich Nietzsche. (Of course, he's also known to completely lose his train of thought.) Like any good villain he thinks extremely highly of himself, so why not make the comparison to our founding father? Meanwhile, on the Pacino movie quote scale, Dick Tracy ranks way above Scent of a Woman.
5. "How ironic, Tony! Trying to rid the world of weapons, you gave it its best one ever! And now, I'm going to kill you with it." (Obadiah Stane, Iron Man, 2008)
Iron Man avoids the usual supervillain monologues and taunts right up until the end when Jeff Bridges' Obadiah Stane spouts a few villainous quips through his souped-up armor. But even the corny action banter crackles and pops under Jon Favreau's iron hands. Now hopefully he'll help Mickey Rourke lighten up in the sequel.
4. "The power of the sun, in the palm of my hand!" (Doc Ock, Spider-Man 2, 2004)
What starts out as a device meant to help the world turns into an explosive super-weapon while mechanical arms turn a brilliant scientist into the mentally unstable "Doc Ock." Supervillains, be they James Bond's Goldfinger or Syndrome from The Incredibles, love to boast about their diabolical creations. (Though you have to admit, possessing the power of the sun in your hand is pretty boast-worthy.) A great over-the-top moment in the best Spider-Man movie.
3. "They wouldn't put me on a pedestal, so I'm layin' 'em on a slab!" (Penguin, Batman Returns, 1992)
Daniel Waters' (Heathers) script for the underrated Batman sequel has some great dark one-liners (choose any of the ones delivered by weirdo actor supreme Christopher Walken), and this Penguin gem is particularly memorable. The clever play on words here also speaks to the movie's theme that supervillains are really just sad, vengeful little children seeking approval. You know, like Ann Coulter.
2. "Wanna know how I got these scars?" (Joker, The Dark Knight, 2008)
The Dark Knight is filled with quotable Joker lines, but this oft-repeated query ranks high for being both chilling and a brilliant character choice. (We never actually find out how he got those scars, since his story keeps changing.) By not giving Joker a clear origin, the screenwriters made him all the more menacing. Plus, there's the whole holding a knife to your face thing. Rarely has a simple question been so loaded. (Runner-up: "Why so serious?")
1. "Kneel before Zod!" (Zod, Superman II, 1980)
What else could it be? Terence Stamp's haughty villain demands respect and insists that everyone -- be it Superman or the President of the United States -- drop to their knees as lowly subjects of the Kingdom of Zod. The line, still wonderfully pompous, has become a cultural touchstone, turning up everywhere from Mallrats to Smallville. It's safe to assume that when Zod returns to fight Superman on the big screen, Big Blue will be kneeling before him.
Got a great supervillain quote? Annoyed that "Arnie" made the cut while Lex Luthor did not? Let us know in the comments.
When not writing for places like The Onion and HBO, Nick Nadel is in line at the comic book store alongside the other geeks, er, fans of speculative fiction. Want more comic book movie news and opinions? Follow Nick Nadel's column on Twitter.
"Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?"
That just hasn't had the same impact since The Green Goblin came up with the perfect answer in After Hours;
"Yea... he told me you were a #$*&^!"
(and then the Joker shoots him)
Funny! Is that from the "I'm a Marvel, I'm a DC" guy? I saw one he did recently on Deadpool that was also amusing.
Thanks for reading!
"...supervillains are really just sad, vengeful little children seeking approval. You know, like Ann Coulter."
Oh teeheehee! Oh my, that is just SO funny. Nick, darling, you are just such a wit - a regular Oscar Wilde, my dear! And isn't it beautiful that you can gratuitously insult those disgusting and repulsive conservatives? How wonderful it must be to know you can insult conservatives in an article that has absolutely NOTHING to do with politics...and no one can do a damn thing about !? Woot, indeed! It's simply brilliant. But after all, we ARE smarter, and we do know what's good for them, so we're entitled to put our politics anywhere we want to. I mean, we ARE correct, after all, and those cattle out there shouldn't complain when we try to teach them, the dullards.
Yes, I mean those cretins in flyover country. And of course those nazis, the conservatives, wherever it is they live. Oh my dears, let me tell you, they're so hopelessly provincial. They eat MEAT! And frozen food! And they get up before all the beautiful people we love even go to bed. And they actually WORK at boring, regular jobs like our granddads did. It's just too, too precious. And most of them still go to church. It would almost be sweet if they weren't so dangerous a modern view of the world. And I just shudder at what the French must think....
And then those same "middle Americans" (doesn't the very name make you gag?) don't even get the brilliance of our wit. Mainly it's because they're, well, stupid. And they just have to be haters, too, most of them. Take Nick's gloriously funny joke, above, about that nazi bitch, Ann Coulter. Now, anyone who thinks correctly would laugh at that joke, wouldn't they? And not see a thing wrong with it. But do you know that those "middle Americans" don't think it's funny at all? I'm not kidding! They wouldn't laugh at that joke unless you substituted "Keith Olbermann", "Bill Maher" or "Andrew Sullivan" for Coulter. And then they roll in the floor. Haters, I told you. Don't they realize how stupid they are? They don't even read Daily Kos or Talking Points; they don't think Jon Stewart or Colbert is funny; they won't watch CNN or MSNBC. Can you buhleev how stupid and full of hate they are?!
Well, they just need to get over it. We run things, not them. Hell, WE are American popular culture! If they don't like it, they should just get themselves another news and entertainment media. The nazi dolts. Now, did you hear the one about how Sarah Palin got her daughter pregnant?
The Joker not having a specific background story is a tribute to The Killing Joke where Joker himself doubts the memories presented by Alan Moore and saying "I would prefer my past to be multiple-choice"
Indeed, Soze. And the brilliant thing about "Killing Joke" is that it gives Joker a credible, realistic origin and then makes you doubt it by the end.
Actually, pretty much ever aspect of the modern Joker in film and comics can be traced back to "The Killing Joke." It's still the definitive Joker story.
sardondi, you need to relax... most of that was totally incomprehensible. it was just a big... really screwed up rant. and who are you calling hater? listen to yourself. and what's wrong with being conservative? it's just a way of looking at things... and from the way you talk ANYTHING is better than the way YOU look at things.
did you read the comment policy before you posted that?
"Comments should be polite and relevant to the topic at hand."
yeah... you did that well.