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Alan Moore Movies Make Alan Moore Mad

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When Watchmen finally hits the big screen on Friday, every fan of the original graphic novel will flock to the theater, eager to see a movie that's been 23 years in the making. Every fan, that is, save one: Alan Moore -- the acclaimed comic book's scribe -- has been quite vocal in his disdain for Zack Snyder's adaptation, comparing the movie to "regurgitated worms" and stating he'll be "spitting venom all over it for months to come." This attitude is nothing new from Moore, a notorious recluse and cranky eccentric who claims to worship a snake god. He's always opposed to adaptations of his work -- quite often with good reason. Let's take a tour of Alan Moore's Hollywood ire.

From Hell (2001)
Moore's From Hell is a densely layered exploration of the Jack the Ripper case that runs over 500 pages. And to be fair, the 2001 Hughes brothers flick is a moderately watchable procedural, despite Heather Graham's hideous attempt at a "cock-nay" accent. But most offensive to Moore, he said, is how the movie depicts Inspector Fred Abberline (Johnny Depp), as "an absinthe-swilling, opium-den-frequenting dandy with a haircut that, in the Metropolitan Police force in 1888, would have gotten him beaten up by the other officers." The graphic novel's Abberline is a modest -- and married -- middle-aged man who would never be caught hanging out with Roller Girl.

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The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)
Stephen Norrington's (Blade) adaptation of Moore's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen comic is so bad it drove Sean Connery into early retirement. But, as Moore claimed in a recent interview with Total Film, it was Connery who insisted that more explosions and special effects be added to the movie, depriving it of Moore's rich characters and intricate storylines: "In The Rock [Connery]'d blown up an island, and he was demanding in The League that he blow up -- was it Venice or something like that?," Moore recalls. "It would have been the moon in his next movie." (With all due respect to Mr. Moore, I would definitely see a movie where Sean Connery blows up the moon.)

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Constantine (2005)
Moore created John Constantine in the pages of his early '80s Swamp Thing series (which Guillermo del Toro needs to adapt post haste), and allowed his artists to pattern the snarky British mage's look after Sting -- hey, Gordon Sumner had cred back in those days. But Hollywood cast Keanu Reeves in the 2005 adaptation, completely changing the character's look and mannerisms. It was after Moore decried Constantine's "desecration" that he vowed never again to support a movie based on his work.

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V for Vendetta (2006)
The Wachowski brothers' screenplay for V For Vendetta was certainly more coherent than the one they penned for Speed Racer, but it still simplified Moore's take on Thatcherism in 1980s Britain and shoehorned in some Bush-era commentary. Moore took offense to both the Americanization of his work (with it's shades of Guantanomo Bay thrown in between Kung Fu battles), and also to producer Joel Silver's claims that he was behind the project. Speaking of the movie he had not seen, Moore said, "V for Vendetta...was a way for thwarted and impotent American liberals to feel that they were making some kind of statement about how pissed off they were with the current situation without really risking anything."

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Watchmen (2009)
By most early accounts, Watchmen is as faithful a graphic novel adaptation as any that has come before it. But that doesn't mean Moore has no cause to scowl: Take a gander at these dandy Dr. Manhattan condoms, which circulated in major cities on Valentine's Day to promote the movie's release. Between this and the Watchmen halloween costumes, Warner Bros. is practically daring Moore to yank out his beard in bitter frustration. While it's cute that the fake products and promotional videos come from the comic's Veidt Enterprises, the irony of it is that Moore conceived of the company as an editorial on commercialization. If anything, his satirical commentary looks as timely now as it did in 1986.

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What do you think? Will Watchmen begin a new era in Hollywood/Alan Moore relations, or will it only serve to spike the Scowl-O-Meter?

When not writing for places like The Onion and HBO, Nick Nadel is in line at the comic book store alongside the other geeks, er, fans of speculative fiction. His most prized possession is a 1960s Batman comic wherein the Dynamic Duo are trapped inside a fortune cookie factory. Want more comic book movie news and opinions? Follow Nick Nadel's column on Twitter.

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Filed under: Books/Comics
Tags: alan moore, constantine, from hell, league of extraordinary gentlemen, v for vendetta, watchmen

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Didn't he once say, "Go ahead and make them, I don't care about films"?

Besides, to be honest, if they DID stick with the original LXG storyline, it wouldn't have drawn in a big crowd. :(

I was surprised to see how much of a good sport he was to poke fun of himself on "The Simpsons".

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Yeah, I like the stance he takes of "good or bad, it doesn't affect the comic." He doesn't have much interest in movies in general, and thinks Hollywood is loud and "bullying." He frequently references Jean Cocteau's Beauty and the Beast as a film that achieved art with few special effects. Fun fact though: Moore did write an unproduced movie during the '80s for Sex Pistol's manager Malcolm McLaren.

I love his Simpsons episode. "Watchmen Babies: V for Vacation" is classic. And his exchange with Bart...

Bart: Alan Moore! You wrote my favorite "Radioactive Man" issues.
Moore: Oh, really. You like that I made your favorite hero a heroin-addicted jazz critic who's NOT radioactive?
Bart: I don't read the words. I just like when he punches people.

And I think you could make a good movie off the original LGX storyline. All the Connery movie did was take the concept and toss in a lot of action and effects and bump up Tom Sawyer to a lead. That's a comic I hope is revisited in a few years by a decent director. Someone like Hellboy's Guillermo Del Toro or Tim Burton in light adventure/comedy mode could have a lot of fun with it.

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Hmm, you know he DID show up in a Simpsons comics parody of "From Hell"...as a Stonecutter, no less.

Anyhoo, somehow the "War of the Worlds" storyline would work well, unless there were some legal problems (Like with the Invisible Man's identity) and Fox's track records of not giving some movies sequels when they need it...unlike "Van Helsing", I wouldn't care if it was a cheapquel, I'd just want to watch it.

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Moore as a Stonecutter, I love it! I have to find that comic.

I would love Fox (or some other studio) to try again with League. They tried to turn it into X-Men, which was a huge mistake. Maybe now that we've had more literate and mature comic book films, someone else will give it a try.

But I really think now is the time for a new Swamp Thing movie based on Moore's run. Special effects have caught up to the character, and the previous films failed to deliver on the horror aspect of Moore's stories.

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I think it's funny that in a comment thread for an article about how much Alan Moore hates movies made from his work people are suggesting Alan Moore comics to make into movies.

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All due respect onebadgungan, it's not like Hollywood's gonna stop adapting Moore's comics. Watchmen is looking to have a huge opening weekend, so expect producers to look for other properties to snatch up. I'm saying they might as well treat the work with respect.

Except for the other ABC books (Tom Strong, Top Ten, etc.) and Lost Girls (which is way to racy and weird for Hollywood), most of Moore's most popular material has already been adapted. And Swamp Thing is owned by DC. If they ever do make another Swamp Thing movie, Moore's stories are a natural to use as inspiration. It's like Frank Miller's Year One inspiring Batman Begins and The Dark Knight--it's the most acclaimed, seminal run on the character, so why not use it to make a decent Swamp Thing movie for once?

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Speaking of "Lost Girls", I did find the PG-13 rated antidote in the form of an online comic called "Cheshire Crossing", which is about the three girls being taken to a special agency because they have the powers to travel to other worlds. Of course, this now has the Wicked Witch and Captain Hook teaming up to get rid of the girls. And their guardian? Mary Poppins! A wacky, wacky read.

http://www.cheshirecrossing.net/

And that "From Hell" parody is great.

-after a vision- "I've got to stop drinking beer and cough syrup together."

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Cool stuff! Reminds me of "Fables", which I love. That's getting turned into a TV series, but it would make for a fantastic movie franchise.

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You know, I think whoever came up with the Dr. Manhattan condom idea is some kind of genius...

Hope this movie's good. I haven't seen From Hell yet, but I have to say...out of the other three movies mentioned above, I think only LXG is awful. (God, even that shortened title is gag-worthy.) I wish someone would try and do it *right*. Although I do still wish someone would make an excellent Constantine film, instead of a mediocre one...

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