J Is for Jedi

For some, the Jedi are an order of warrior monks, philosophers and mystics... powerful beings who can bend the very fabric of reality with their empathic synergy with all of creation. For others? A bunch of fruity bozos dressed in bathrobes, waving their laser swords around, blathering on about prophecies and "the Dark Side of the Force."
According to the first Star Wars movie: "For over a thousand generations the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times. Before the Empire." The later prequels elaborate more on the Jedis role in the Old Republic: They were the dusty, slow-moving bureaucrats at the top of the food chain who, under their watch, somehow managed to hand supreme control of the galaxy over to the Star Wars equivalent of Satan.
So it's pretty clear that, as politicians and peace keepers, the Jedi were fairly incompetent. However, they were also bad ass, which has gone far in influencing public opinion. Through the Force, they have the ability to see the immediate future and react to it, which explains the long, ballet-like light saber duels that can go on for minutes at a time without anyone landing a blow. They also have exceptional Force-enhanced reflexes and motor control... absolutely essential for anyone waving around a laser sword capable of lopping off body parts like slabs of butter without wearing a stitch of protective gear. They can run faster than a speeding blaster bolt and leap over a Coruscant skyscraper in a single-bound. They can even hurl lightning out of their hands.
Unfortunately, Jedis don't seem to spend most of their time doing
any of these things. Instead, they like to shuffle around, mumbling
about the Great Jedi Prophecy, and the Chosen One who will bring
"balance" to the Force. Thanks to his high midichlorian count (we can
deal with that debacle in a couple letters), Anakin Skywalker
is eventually accepted as the Chosen One... and Skywalker responds to
this good news by promptly proceeding to kill nearly every Jedi in the
universe.
There are two different takes on what this prophecy actually meant. Since Anakin Skywalker became a Sith Lord under the tutelage of Emperor Palpatine, and since he never managed to kill Obi Wan Kenobi or Yoda, the thinking goes that he brought balance to the Force in a strict numeric fashion: The universe was reduced to two Sith and two Jedis. If so, it wasn't much of a prophecy -- within 30 years, the Jedis had wiped out the Sith with the aid of Luke Skywalker and, generally speaking, most people expect the scope of a prophecy to last more than thirty years.
George Lucas himself seems to endorse the view that Anakin Skywalker brought balance to the force by eliminating the order of the Sith altogether when he betrayed Darth Sidious as his last act before dying, reinstating the bumbling, incompetent Jedi Order to galactic dominance. This is also a rather bizarre interpretation of the word "balance"... after all, a see-saw isn't balanced when a fat kid is sitting on it by himself.
Whatever the case, the Jedis seem to have made almost no real impact on the lives of the people living in the Galaxy. Within 30 years of toppling from power, Han Solo was dismissing Jedis as imaginary, the Star Wars equivalent of unicorns, and most Imperial Citizens seemed to share his view. All this despite the fact that Jedis had been the supreme order of the Galaxy for over 20,000 years and that they had been a ubiquitous presence as recently as 30 years before the events of A New Hope. Way to reach the hearts and minds of the common man, guys.










So, if I understand the crux of your post correctly, the Jedi suck. Maybe I should put you on the list of people that like to piss on my childhood heroes, right next to ol' George himself.
That said, I do have a few actual criticisms.
1) I'm not sure why you'd describe the Jedi as bureaucrats, since the sequels made it pretty clear that they had no real dealing in the internal politics of the Republic. I mean, maybe if we stretch their whole 'Jedi kick ass at leading the war effort' role, but even then, it's laughable.
2) I can't remember where I heard it, but Lucas outlined the whole balance thing pretty clearly. The whole story is out of whack because you've got this one uber-powerful bad guy who's been manipulating the situation for god know's how long. He's so bad ass that the entire Jedi Order doesn't see him coming. Ergo, no balance. When Vader kills him, that reduces the net 'bad ass quotient' of the galaxy by several degrees, bringing them closer in balance.
3) Even in the prequels, the Jedi are shown to be a rare and mysterious group, as Qui-Gonn gets treated like a legend on Tatooine.
And...my god, I'm actually arguing about Star Wars. I can't believe this, but then again, I can't really stand your post, either.
Your post though interesting posses a huge ethical debateā¦.. Are you the nut bag or the people who love Sci-Fi?
How can one debate over Fantasy using reality as a bench mark. Fantasy is limited only by the imagination of the Author and the dreamer.
On a side note concerning the Han Solo reference and the 30 year span. In Episode One when the Jedi came to Naboo for negotiations the shock that was expressed by the Trade Federation clearly points that the Jedi did not get involved with every situation that happened to be going on in the Galaxy. This is just one of the examples from the many that are evident in Episodes One and Two. One would have to assume that in the Star Wars Universe one could live several life times with out ever seeing a Jedi.
Finally if you truly are such a Sci-Fi lover or hater and you wish to destroy the illusion there are many that you could choose to pick on, hmmm lets see, there is Superman, Spiderman, The Incredible Hulk, Star Trek, well damn I guess virtually all of them. It is Fantasy get over yourself and relax a bit.
Bogwan whipatooki kicks ass!