Since man first rocketed into space, he’s had but one thought on his mind: how to totally do it in zero-g. Though reports of real-life astronaut hanky-panky are apocryphal at best (whenever asked, both Russian and American scientists flat-out refuse to answer), we can still boldly go where no one has gone before at the multiplex. So let’s take a look at the top ten movie scenes that made us rethink the term “close encounters.”
10. The Immaculate, Face-Hugging Conception, Alien (1979)
OK, so technically it’s not sex, but damn if that alien doesn’t know how to get people pregnant. Slap a face-hugger on anyone and several hours later, bam: alien babies popping right out of your stomach. I guess if you really wanted to talk about “sexy,” we could have gone for Sigourney Weaver stripping down to her undies as she prepares for deep freeze, but what can I say… There’s just something about hot alien-on-human action that really fires me up.
9. Air Force Threesome, Spaceballs (1987)
With many memorable and hilarious sex scenes under his belt (remember the Monster/Madeline Kahn scene in Young Frankenstein?), you’d think Mel Brooks could throw us a bone (no pun intended) in this Star Wars spoof. And he does, however briefly. Brooks, playing galactic President Skroob, wakes up in bed with twin space vixens, which prompts him to utter, “It’s good to be the president.” (A play on his oft-repeated catchphrase, “It’s good to be the king.”) Hail to the chief.
8. The Little Blue Pill, Saturn 3 (1980)
Kirk Douglas and Farrah Fawcett are sent on a mission to have sex in space, using “blue pills” that make them trip out and get all super horny. Then a sex crazed robot chases Fawcett around for about a half hour trying to have sex with her. Harvey Keitel also really wants to have sex with Farrah. So much space sex here, and yet, the movie’s one and only sex scene reportedly ended up on the cutting room floor. Cursed FCC standards!
7. Teacher’s Extra-Terrestrial Credit, Jason X (2001)
You can’t have a Friday the 13th movie without some sex to drive good ole’ Jason totally nuts, and this spacey sequel is no exception. Four hundred years in the future, a class of Earth anthropologists recover Jason’s frozen body and brings it back to their spaceship. While Voorhees lies frozen in the next room, the leader of the expedition to “Earth 2″ shows one of his students just how to pass his course. It’s with sex, FYI.
6. Or are you just happy to see me?, Leprechaun 4: In Space (1996)
If there was an award for most traumatizing space sex scene, this one would win it handily. A bunch of Space Marines hunting the Leprechaun in space (no, seriously) take a little break to party. Two of the marines head off for a little nooky, and when one unzips his pants to dock his ship, if you will, out pops… Warwick Davis as the Leprechaun! Guess that really was a leprechaun in his pocket.
5. I vant to suck your…, Lifeforce (1985)
Mathilda May plays a naked space vampire in Tobe Hooper’s scifi thriller, so if you’re expecting lots and lots of sex, you got it. Though May spends the entire movie nude and sucking the, er, “lifeforce” from people’s mouths, it isn’t until the very end that we get our floating sex scene. Since the only way of killing May is by stabbing her, repeatedly, in the solar plexus, a heroic astronaut makes love to her as they float up towards her ship in an energy beam — right before penetrating them both on a big, fat spear.
4. Androidica, Star Trek: First Contact (1996)
Data (Brent Spiner) is held captive by the Borg Queen, who grafts a piece of human skin onto his arm. And then blows on it. Slowly. If that doesn’t give you goosebumps (it certainly did Data) the Queen then asks Data if he’s “familiar with forms of physical pleasure,” to which he responds that he’s “fully functional.” Before fading to black, she assimilates his tongue into her mouth. One can only assume that afterwards they reverse polarity until Data fires his axial servos.
3. Spader Blasts Off, Supernova (2000)
James Spader, Angela Bassett, and a bottle of pear brandy is a recipe for sex-cess. Throw in a zero-g love scene, and you’ve got intergalactic gold. After co-pilot Spader brings a bottle to medical officer Bassett’s room in a space station as an apology for an earlier argument, the two begin ruminating on just how one might get a pear into the bottle. I think I’ve got a few ideas, if you know what I mean. This is followed by a naked romp floating in space, and just a little of the obligatory Spader-butt.
2. Barbarella, Barbarella (1968)
It’s hard to pick out a particular “best” sex scene from the notoriously sex-crazed Barbarella. Though Pygar, the movie’s villain, trying to kill Jane Fonda’s Barbarella by making her orgasm too much comes pretty close (for those who haven’t seen the movie, the strength of her climaxes short out the scene), it’s the opening credits that take the cake. Boldly announcing that this is not your typical space romp, Barbarella proceeds to sexily strip off her space suit and, er, “have a little fun,” as she floats in zero gravity. No wonder Ted Turner married her.
1. Her Majesty’s Not-so-Secret Servicer, Moonraker (1979)
And for the most scintillating space sex scene of all time? Ever the opportunist, James Bond is not only having climactic (pun intended) congress with Holly Goodhead (the movie’s ubiquitous good girl) in the titular space shuttle, but MI6 is actually watching them do the deed on a giant screen. The Minister of Defense asks what Bond is doing, to which Q utters, “I think he’s attempting re-entry, sir.” We couldn’t have said it better ourselves.