The 10 Funniest Movie Sex Scenes

Most movie sex scenes are plenty funny — just not on purpose. With their soft focus, gauzy lighting, saxophone music, and lots of strawberries involved, movie sex is about as close to the real thing as movie gunfights and car wrecks are. Today we pay homage to 10 movies that take the act of love and show it for what it really is: Silly, laughable, and often extremely embarrassing.

10. M*A*S*H, 1970
The highlight of M*A*S*H‘s side-splitting sex scene between the very married Frank Burns (Robert Duvall) and his tightly wound soul mate Hot Lips O’Houlihan (Sally Kellerman) comes not when their noisy amour is broadcast throughout the camp, nor when the pair subsequently scuttle off in mortified horror. It arrives with the foreplay: fueled by their mutual loathing of the other surgeons around them and the need to turn the unit into a ‘tightly run’ military outfit. ‘God meant us to find each other,’ Frank intones solemnly, to which Hot Lips responds by baring her breasts and crying, ‘His will be done!’ The fact that they really, truly seem to mean it becomes both hysterically funny and strangely sad. -RV

9. A Fish Called Wanda, 1988
One of the great mysteries of A Fish Called Wanda is how Jamie Lee Curtis’ impossibly sexy double-crosser could ever allow Kevin Kline’s grade-A sleazeball between her thighs. We get our answer when Kline starts speaking Italian and Curtis, sporting a heavy foreign language fetish, immediately lies on her back and begins disrobing. Nicely juxtaposed with a scene of John Cleese’s stuffy lawyer and wife preparing for bed, the sex scene that ensues includes Kline using a boot to imitate an elephant’s trunk and later breaking into a rendition of ‘Volare.’ Need I say more? -CC

8. Sideways, 2004
In any movie about a bachelor party, some skin is going to get shown. In the case of Alexander Payne’s Sideways, it is the ass of Jack (Thomas Haden Church) in the middle of a quickie with winery worker Stephanie (Sandra Oh). But it is actually Paul Giamatti’s reaction as he walks into the scene that causes a riot. The John Adams star’s most noticeable physical gifts are his huge, wily eyes and they nearly shoot out of his skull as he tries to exit the scene gracefully, his friend trying to be calm as he yells, ‘Not now, not now!’ -CC

7. Airplane! 1980
It’s more a heroic gesture than a sexual act, but we’ll let it slide. When the inflatable ‘auto-pilot’ starts to deflate on the film’s infamously doomed flight, a brave stewardess (Julie Hagerty) has to let her lips do the reviving, an act that is more reminiscent of prostitute than paramedic. What follows is a scene that’s memorable for the level of restraint employed by the ZAZ team. We see a concerned Hagerty bend over and the pilot gradually inflate. Then the camera zooms in on the plastic pilot… who suddenly sports a huge grin. It’s a mixture of crass and deadpan that is hilarious, clever, and completely memorable. -PC

6. Porky’s, 1982
At the heart of Porky’s, perhaps the most gleefully phallocentric movie of all time, is the Lassie scene. ‘Why do they call her Lassie?’ asks Coach Brakett about a notoriously horny cheerleader played by an energetic Kim Cattrall. ‘Just get her up in the equipment room, and you’ll find out,’ explains Coach Warren. Once there, all it takes a whiff of a sweaty uniform to turn Cattrall into an animal… literally. Howling an earsplitting high C in sexual ecstasy, her shrieks can be heard all across the school (think air raid siren), and the entire place explodes in gales of contagious laughter. We laugh at them laughing at her. It’s a meta moment of sex farce unsurpassed in the annals of American cinema. -DW

5. Office Space, 1999
While Mike Judge’s Office Space doesn’t quite deserve its ‘must-own’ cult status, it remains a film to strike fear and loathing into the hearts of all those who have labored in the ghastly beige-and-white cubicle farms of America, most particularly in Gary Cole’s dead-eyed incarnation of ever-present coffee-slurping boss Bill Lumbergh. Nowhere does Judge illustrate better how Lumbergh’s manifestation as the shibboleth of slacker everyman Peter Gibbons’ (Ron Livingston) subconscious than in the nightmare scene where he sees Lumbergh having sex with Gibbons’ girlfriend. In the fervid dream, Lumbergh grinds away with the same MBA doggedness with which he pursues his workers, coffee mug raised high for mid-coital slurp, and intoning, ‘Yeah. That’s it.’ -CB

4. Bad Santa, 2003
Discretion dictates that we not print what Willie says as he pounds away at a woman in a department store dressing room, but suffice it to say it’s wholly obscene. (Watch it below if you feel compelled.) Now add in the fact that Willie is a shopping mall Santa Claus on break from visiting with children. The store manager, after hearing noises from the dressing room, walks over and looks under the door. He finds a woman’s bare legs intertwined with Willie’s scrawny twigs, red Santa pants dropped to his ankles. How’d it get so bad? Easy, Willie says in another scene. Mrs. Claus caught him with her sister. -BF

3. Animal House, 1978
The
movie that launched the raunch-com phenomenon is hardly lacking in memorably hilarious sex scenes, but one moment stands out among them as the best of the bunch: When Otter (Tim Matheson) finally lures the dean’s wife (Verna Bloom) back to his pleasure den of a room, complete with bar. It’s the foreplay that’s the highlight of the night, with Otter’s come-on line of ‘Mrs. Wormer, I’m so glad you came.’ Her reply, ‘Cut the crap. Give me a drink.’ Double secret probation for all of you. -CN

2. American Pie, 1999
What can be said about the love of a sexually confused young man and the innocent pastry he defiles? Jason Biggs’ enthusiastic humping of an apple pie on his kitchen countertop set a new standard for outrageous humor (which dozens of inadequate imitators have since tried vainly to top), but the follow-up contains almost as many laughs, as Eugene Levy’s terminally embarrassing but resolutely well-intended father walks in coitus pastrius interruptus. ‘We’ll just tell your mother that we ate it,’ he assures his son. If only our fathers had been so understanding with those copies of Playboy we swiped… -RV

1. Bananas, 1971
We all remember dreaming of our wedding night — the expectations, the bliss, the narration by Howard Cosell. Bookending Bananas, Woody Allen’s third and wackiest film, are two scenes insanely presented as segments on ABC’s Wide World of Sports. The latter, the film’s ‘climax,’ is Allen consummating his marriage with his new bride Nancy. The young couple’s copulation is transformed into a heavyweight fight, complete with trainers, roaring spectators, injuries, and play-by-play and post-coitus interviews by Cosell. ‘It’s over!’ -EM

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