Novelist Scott Sigler's horror column appears every Thursday.

You call them "monsters," but you know what? They have just as much of a right to be here as you and I. They're here, they vote, and they love America just as much as you.

Monster-Americans are all over the place these days. They are your neighbors. Maybe you see them at PTA meetings and Little League. I'll tell you one place you won't see these people: Alongside the protesters that think America is a bad place. Flag-waving Monster-Americans are more involved than ever, and many of them want to help improve the country that gave them so much opportunity.

"I love my country," said Dr. Hannibal Lecter, M.D. "This nation provided me an amazing education, the dining is just out of sight, and I can even attest to the value of our correctional institutions."

Dr. Seth Brundle, Ph.D, is another prime example of how patriotism and activism can catch on later in life. "When I started out, I couldn't tell you the name of a single Supreme Court Justice," Brundle said. "But once I got that grant from the National Academy of Sciences, I came to realize just how amazing America is. I've gotten much more involved in the system since then. Granted, I look kind of nasty, but I volunteer a lot of time in phone banks."

Brundle is extremely aggressive about voter registration and even toyed with a run for Congress. Many of us have heard his famous treatise on "Insect Politics." He wanted to extend the right to vote to cockroaches, although some say he was just pandering to the millions of votes available from the underground denizens of Mimic. Still, how can we ever forget Brundlefly's patriotic efforts to drag people into the voting booth? Give him liberty, or give him a very messy accidental biological decomposition.

Monster-Americans are also strong proponents of the nation's moral fiber. Mike Myers and Jason Vorhees, both twenty-year members of the Republican Party, constantly practice outreach to educate teens against the evils of alcohol and premarital sex. "This is a great country," said Myers. "But underage drinking, partying and fornication are major tears in our cultural fabric. If Jason and I have to find creative ways to get that message across, than so be it. It's our patriotic duty and we're happy to help."

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