Novelist Scott Sigler's horror column appears every Thursday.

There's one thing built into any story involving the undead: They can't really die, because, well, they are already dead. That means their decomposing posteriors always come back for more, and in Hollywood, "coming back for more" means sequels. A first sequel is no big whoop. It's mandatory, and you can still evaluate each movie on its own merits. But when you hit that all-important second sequel, then you've got yourself a trilogy, and that brings on the opinionated analysis of the entire franchise as a single entity.

Case in point: The third installment in the Brendan Fraser Mummy series, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, which hits theaters in August. We're out of Egypt and into China, moving from the Pharos to the well-preserved remains of a Han Dynasty emperor (played by Jet Li). 

So, welcome to Uncle Scotty's Highly Scientific School of Franchise Measurement™. Here at Uncle Scotty's, we score a franchise on an 10-point index based on:
• Actors
• Overall Story Continuity
• Monster Factor
• Special Effects
• Movie Plots
Give each element a 10-point rating, average it out, and you've got your index score. This was developed by people at NASA, using computers and other advanced technologies. There might be some alloys and biotech involved as well -- it's technical -- you wouldn't understand... so just trust Uncle Scotty.

We will need to re-calibrate this score after Part Three hits the screens, but let's take a look at a pre-emptive rating of The Mummy franchise.

Actors: 9
Fraser (as Rick O'Connell) is pretty kick-ass at his version of Indiana Jones. Arnold Vosloo was absolute perfection as the High Priest Imhotep in the first two movies. For the third movie, can we give an early score? The baddie is Jet Li. Jet Li. Mummies are bad-ass enough as is. Now throw in a spin kick and you're queuing up potential greatness. Now, could a spin-kicking mummy also be totally retarded? Sure. We'll have to wait and see, but did I mention, it's Jet Li?

Continue reading "With a New Setting and a New Director, Will The Mummy Franchise Hold Up?" »