3D and Horror: The Perfect Combination
Most every horror fan has heard, at one time or another, some variation of the questions, "Why do you watch that crap?" Sometimes it's more accusatory, "How can you watch that kind of crap?" Or maybe it's: "You're a whack job." Once I even got, "So, you like horror movies, huh? Wow, that's an ugly shirt." I realize that's not a statement about horror movies, necessarily, but I was irritated nonetheless: My shirt rocked!
See, an enjoyment of scary movies is often equated with negatives from general perversion, to a lack of intelligence, to bad fashion sense. It's not just fans that are unfairly maligned, either. As genre master John Carpenter quipped in the June 2000 issue of Fangoria, "If you direct my kind of pictures, you are kind of a ghettoized guy anyway. Horror directors are a little above pornographers. Just a hair."
Well, kids, I'm here to prove the naysayers wrong, to show that even though I dig fright flicks, I'm still capable of deep thoughts.
Monster-Related Musings
I spend most of my days exercising my brain with scientific ponderables such as string theory, or philosophical musings like, "If a tree falls in the forest and only Helen Keller is around, does the tree make a sound?" Then I'll bring it around to horror with something like, "Since Jason Voorhees has died and been brought back to life, does that technically make him a zombie in Friday the 13th, Part 6 and onward? For that matter, is Frankenstein's monster a zombie? Is there a difference between a zombie and a reanimated corpse? Of course, I mean a George Romero-style zombie, not, like, a voodoo zombie which is another matter entirely." Then I snap out of it and realize that I've been talking to myself for 15 minutes and people are beginning to stare and back away.
Recently I engaged in a debate... err, with myself... regarding whether or not paper is 2D or 3D. In the end, I decided that paper is, in fact, 3D; though its width is negligible, it's still there. Stack a bunch of pieces atop one another and you'll prove it.
Right about now you're saying to yourself "What does any of this have to do with anything, and...dear lord, is Stacie drunk?" That's neither here nor there. My point is, aren't 3D horror movies effing awesome?
A Quick History of 3D
Though 3D movies have been around nearly as long as motion pictures themselves (patents were sought as early as the 1890), horror began popping off the screen in the medium's heyday, the 1950s. Whether it was animals-run-amok action style (Bwana Devil), comedy style (Spooks! featuring The Three Stooges), sci-fi style (It Came From Outer Space), or plain old monster style (Revenge of the Creature), audiences were getting their scare on while wearing dorky cardboard and cellophane glasses. Heck, even Alfred Hitchcock got in on as Grace Kelly felt three dimensions of strangulation in Dial M for Murder.
Eventually the public grew tired of the gimmick, much as they do with any other fad or craze. Just hit up your local thrift store and see how many Thigh Masters and Macarena CDs have been "generously" donated. Despite some exploitation flicks making use of the technology, most notably 1969's The Stewardesses (which would go on to bank over $100 million; never underestimate the power of 3D boobs), audiences had had enough of those red and blue glasses.
The Return of 3D
It all came around again in the 1980s, when horror fans were treated to three-dimensional monsters (Parasite), sharks (Jaws 3D), evil houses (Amityville 3D), and, perhaps most famously, a three-dimensional Jason (Friday the 13th Part 3D). Who could ever forget all of Mr. Voorhees's gross antics, like the eyeball that flies out of both poor Rick's head and the screen? Or the other eyeball, offered up to the audience by the crazy doomsayin' townsperson? That's cinematic gold, people.
I was lucky enough to catch Friday the 13th Part 3 late last year in all its multi-dimensional glory at a 25th anniversary screening. I put on those dorky glasses and I was like a kid in a candy store, sporting a big goofy grin the entire time. Of course, the fact that the movie is over 25 years old made me feel old -- I remember seeing it during its original run... but then I had a Crystal Pepsi and regained my youthful vigor just like that.
I loves me some 3D. It's just the most ridiculous, best thing ever. Lucky for me,the fad is making yet another comeback: The forthcoming remake of My Bloody Valentine is said to be a 3D effort, Final Destination 4 too. One of my favorite franchises and one of my favorite gimmicks are now two great tastes that are going to taste so frickin' great together. Look for me at the theater on opening night -- I'll be the one with the big goofy grin and the dorky glasses. If you catch me saying to myself, "Hmm...are lemons inherently sour or is that simply the way my tongue interprets them?" please don't stare. I'm being deep.
You rock, Stacie! 3D & horror were made for eachother.
I remember going to see Friday Pt 3 on opening day & was thrilled to death. It was the first time I had ever experienced 3D with StereoVision glasses. Jaws 3D was great too.
Back in the 80's, a lot of local television stations would broadcast older black & white 3D movies, like Creature from the Black Lagoon & House of Wax. You could buy the red/blue glasses at 7-11. I ended up with so many pairs of glasses, so it was easy for friends to come over & we would a 3D movie marathon.
3-D is definitely more welcome than re-imaginings.
Although a 3-D remake of Fried Green Tomatoes sounds hella sweet!
I love that sassy grrl power cannibal flick!
Another great column!
I, too, saw Jaws 3D and Friday the 13th 3D when they opened. I wouldn't say they were exactly great movies, but they were pretty fun to watch. The best part of Jaws 3D was the shark digest-a-victim cam parts, where you got to see the shark eat people from inside the shark's mouth. I thought that was a very interesting and informational part of the movie.
The worst horror 3D I saw (if you don't count Treasure of the Four Crowns, which aside from notably not having four crowns, was pretty horrible) was Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare. My friend hated it so much he tossed his 3D glasses over the seats in front of us and onto the icky sticky floor.
Final Destination 4 in 3D? They missed their opportunity with the third one. Obviously all horror franchises should have their third part in 3D, or they should go to space. This should be a rule.
Why so much hate for Freddys Dead? I saw it in 3D at the theater and thought it was awesome! (And I dont think it can be considered true 3D, since only part of it was 3D) But, cmon! Freddy kills the guy in a video game while wearing the power glove! lol
I most recently watched Night of the Living Dead 3-D, and even though it isnt a very good movie, it was still awesome to watch a new 3-D horror movie! w00t! So, I dont care how bad My Bloody Valentine 3-D is, I'll probably enjoy it. And im confident that FD3D should rock my face pretty hard.
Freddy's Dead just felt like a rush job, one final swipe at fans' wallets. Plus the 3D part felt like Headache D. And what a lame, anti-climatic way for Freddy to die! Now had the final battle been in 3D and occurred in space, then you would have had a great movie.
Thanks so much for this post!- I am a huge 3D/horror movie nerd - in fact, I collect 3D movies and converted my living room into the ultimate horror/3D movie theater.
(If interested you can see my collection and theater at Psychosomatic Rants )
There is talk that they are going to re-make 'Parasite' and 'My Bloody Valentine' again in 3D - a more modern take on the stories.
thanks again for this post!!