Why Beowulf Is A Monster Movie
Last night, I attended a screening of Beowulf uptown where the local IMAX theater had been upgraded to 3-D technology and the CEO of the huge screen theater chain came out to say what we were about to experience was "spooky cool." He wasn't right about the humans in the movie, which still need some serious, well, humanizing.
It's the monsters that are spooky cool. While there are some laughable scenes in the movie like the constant camera covering up Beowulf's, er, wee-wee, the monsters are so wildly alive, so cannily projected in 3-D as they seemingly come after you, these scenes become experiences that take your breath away.
I won't give away the story, which, sadly, isn't as much based on the epic poem as it is a Hollywood epic with nods to Ray Harryhausen (and a comic book-ish script by Neil Gaiman). Here's what to watch for when you go:
Rats: Early on rats creep you out in 3-D. These regular-sized rats become huge on the IMAX screen, and if you've ever been skeeved by these rodents, you will again.
Grendel: Grendel really isn't the huge beast that I imagined him to be when reading the poem or John Gardner's moving piece of literature. But he is somewhat sympathetic. And he's ugly ass, looking more like a bleeding, skinless, scruched-faced cretin than a powerful monster. But he's awfully strong, flipping and tossing humans around a mead hall like they were toys.
Grendel's Mom - Angelina Jolie's character is beautiful and Harpy-like, irresistible, sexy, powerful and manipulative. Her prehensile tail is a wonder to behold.
The Dragon -- This is the reason to run to see the movie as soon as you can. The dragon is the scariest monster in the movie, a fang-toothed, fire-breathing entity that'll make you move your head to avoid the blasts of red heat that come at you from its maw. This whole sequence is like a 3-D ride you'd pay $30 in Vegas to enjoy -- except it's bigger and better, and the seats don't shake (I hate it when the seats shake).
This may be the future of adventure movies, folks: big, 3-D spectacles. It's not a lasting movie for the ages by any means. But it's one helluva giddy ride. For more on what this means for the way movies will look in years to come, take a trip over to Future of Classic for Helen Pfeffer's post on the movie.
Thanks for plugging the clssic blog. Like you, Pfeffer does an excellent job. Liked your tidbit about the dragon.I'd been hoping to find a post about the movie Bella over at the classic blog (hint, hint). However, I confess I'm having Pt withdrawal after being able to read his writing weekly for nearly half a year now. Miss his thought provoking posts greatly. Just the writing style in general. If his topic was as trivial as "cardboard" or "dryer lint" I'd read it start to finish. And certainly find some deeper life application or different way of thinking about something. Miss the cerebral stretch (even if it's just a baby step). Goldberg, also enjoy your work and look forward to any future books. Also appreciate how you not only tie into movies, but books, authors, etc. as well. Know you have an audience even if they aren't consistently posting comments.Keep it up. Much thanks.
many thanks for your kind note, ax! you rule.
Heck yeah! I completely agree with the legendary AX on this one. PT's posts are great. Goldberg, is the man, no doubt! I really like how he covers a wide variety of entertainment (especially the gaming posts). Actually, I enjoy all of the bloggers here at Monsterfest (the best blog on the internet). Nobody cuts a 2-3 minute video like Todd and Mordicai. Those two fiends are crazy.
I have a question, Goldberg; I know the films are different, but if I enjoyed 300, will I enjoy Beowulf? The film looks captivating visually, but I'm unsure of the total substance of Beowulf.
I'd like to see the 3D version, but the closest IMAX theater is some 200 miles away. Man, I friggin' hate living in the country. And can someone tell me why cow's 'moo' like psychopaths at night? Every now-and-then when I step outside around midnight or so you can hear the meatheads going nuts and it's very disturbing sometimes.
malice, i'd it'd be fine if you found a theater that just has 3-d without the imax. the story in beowulf isn't that strong, maybe not as strong as that in 300. but it really is quite a spectacle to watch. with beowulf making 28 million this weekend, i guess others agree.
i don't know why cow sounds get creepy at night. possible horror movie there, i think!