I couldn't have said it better myself. I felt the same way.
I don't understand why he ever came back to her at the end of last season - if all he was going to do was cheat on her again, and perpetuate his lies.
I don't ever remember him spontaneously speaking the words"I love you"- which she picked up in Season 2. He really never trats her as a real person- she's always been an object to him.
I think he doesn't see any person except for how they can benefit him- but he's so good looking he's not thought to be so callous.

stacypeoria - i agree - the only thing that i could think of is don realized he truly didn't love her - sobbing now! maybe betty was a trophy wife all along or maybe don was so mixed up in his own web of lies he didn't realize she was a trophy wife until the moment trudy walked in with lunch!

The truth of the matter is that there was no substance to the marriage. She was the trophy wife and he tried to play out the role, but failed. I think he'll try to stay close to the kids, but ultimately, he was consumed and betrayed by the very character flaws that he tried to leave behind in Dick Whitman.

His true passion is work. It's the common thread that binds the remains of the staff at the new
Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. Regardless of how things have gone wrong with "Bets", it is work that ultimately defines Don. It is now the only thing that can save him. This is his fresh start.

Season four will most likely give Betty a better view of who Don really is - as he will find out himself, but she'll only be an observer. It may not bring them back together, but it will add layers of complexity.

The fact is we really don't know, but the stereotypes have been shattered. The cultural changes of the 60's will only intrude all the more as we move on into 1964. Feminism and race relations are what's truly on the agenda.

As for Peggy, he respects her.

The sad fact is that Don never saw Betty as a human being worthy of respect and love. She was never more than the perfect arm candy and the idealized Madonna figure. And once she fell off those pedestals for him, that was it. He doesn't care how badly he's hurt her. I hate that Don gets to walk away from his marriage without acknowledging everything he put Betty through and everything she's done for him. She gave him a home and family and he treated her like that meant absolutely nothing.

Don Draper calls his wife "Bets", hmmm. He has no history with family cohesiveness. Maybe he figured it was not going to work out in the end. He practically induced it. Whereas, Peggy is from a far more modest background and he gave her a big step up the ladder. At work Peggy can deliver, at home Don has no idea what family life is about. Betty's family never liked him (the feeling is mutual). At work he is master of the realm. Business will trump family for Don.

I'm coming from a different direction. Even if he had tried to make big-time amends, she would continue to regard him with disdain because he had a "prostitute Mother". It was one thing to think of him as a "football player who hated his Father", but.....this?? In a strange way, her "trophy (looking) husband" had become forever tarnished.

Or perhaps he was just tired of it all. His life was a sham, and now his marriage was a sham...

So complex!

You know, I don't know why the answer to this isn't obvious. It is to me....

Imagine you're Don Draper. This is what you know about these two women...

Betty:
*I went to a prestigious college and was an anthro major. But you won't let me help you with your work, or with our life together. I've complained about this repeatedly. You tell me not to "worry my pretty little head about such things."
*I was a model living an exciting life in Europe. But you don't want me to be anything more than a beautiful wife and mother.
*I was raised with money, but even though you have plenty, you keep me on an allowence. That bothers me--I've complained frequently about that, too.
*You lied to me our whole marriage. You kept secrets from me. You cheated on me. I've forgiven you time and again and tried to trust you time and again because I hadn't any other option; you've let me down each time. Why should I believe anything you tell me this time?
*I don't love you, and I feel that you destroyed our marriage and family. I don't value our relationship at all.
*You wept in front of me and all I could feel for you was pity.
*I've met someone new. This time I have another option. I don't have to listen to you or believe you.

Peggy:
*I was a poor secretary; you recognized talent I didn't even know I had and raised me up to a respected copywriter. You trusted me and I feel the need to prove that you were right to do that.
*I had a baby out of wedlock. You helped me through the trauma, and didn't make me feel ashamed about it. You keep my secret, which is why, in turn, I keep your secrets. I understand that we all have our private selves.
*You mentored, taught and were a father figure to me. Under your tutelage I have grown and become more than I ever dreamed I could be. You praise me for my work in front of others and gain me respect, an office, a secretary. I respect you in turn for that.
*You've always told me the truth, let me in on secrets. You've kept your promises. I trust what you tell me.
*We're good together and I know I have a lot more to learn from you.
*I love you. Which is why I can't stay with you if I think you'll kick me around. It hurts too much. But if you tell me you won't do that anymore, I'll come back because I value our partnership above any other relationship I'm in or have ever been in.

So. You're Don Draper. You've really blown it with both ladies. Which one do you think is going to believe you when you apologize? Which one will listen to what you have to say, and take you back? More to the point, which woman is really, honestly, is going to benefit from being kept in a relationship with you?

I have perceived Betty as just a trophy wife who is superficial and unfeeling to her family. I can relate to Don better. Since he had such a deprived unhappy childhood he has difficulty showing his love but the love is there for the children and for Betty. It seemed after he revealed his true identity to Betty, he was becoming more emotionally available to his family. The moment Betty finds out about his lowly beginnings, she loses all feeling for him. One would think, after taking everything into account, she would admire him for all that he has achieved in spite of his background. Instead, she then takes up with the first available man. She does not love her children because she breaks their hearts by breaking up the family. I think Don Draper will prevail because he has such good command of every situation. I would not be surprised if the children choose to live with Don instead of their cold and selfish mother. It was sad to see her on the plane with another man holding Don's baby. I am stricken by this turn of events and look forward to see how everything plays out.

May
Houston, TX

@May: "She does not love her children because she breaks their hearts by breaking up the family."

What? Are you really, seriously saying that any woman with kids who gets a divorce doesn't love her children? Either you said this badly, or your logic is very odd.

Women who stay with men who make them unhappy and miserable are rarely able to be the best mothers. They often take their frustration, anger and depression out on their kids. Maybe, given how unhappy Betty is with Don, this is the best thing she could do for the kids. It might make her a better mom. And that would indicate that she's actually doing this because she loves her children and wants to be the best she can be for them, not always unhappy and angry.

In the end, she isn't trying to break up the family or her children's hearts. She's trying to get out of a situation that's making her miserable with a man she can't love or trust. One that has become, for her, intolerable. Will it be easy on the kids? Nope. Good for them? Probably not. Will it be better for them than seeing their parents becoming colder and meaner to each other every day, year after year, because they shouldn't be together? Maybe being cold and mean to them because they're both so unhappy?

We've had three seasons to see why this marriage has failed; this was not a sudden decision by Betty, nor an easy one. There may be plenty of other evidence to indicate that she's not a loving mother, but wanting a divorce from Don is not indicative of that in any way, shape or form. Whether a woman stays or leaves a bad marriage tells us nothing about how much she loves her children.

My perspective on Don and Betty:
Don never felt worthy of Betty, never believed she would marry him. But she did and anything other than "honorable" married sex, i.e. missionary position, she had to originate and even then he didn't necessarily respond positively. Likewise, he felt she was demeaning herself by wearing a bikini in public to the pool.

Don never, ever, saw her as an equal or off her pedestal until the very end when he yanked her out of bed. In fact, he turns that pedestal on its head when he calls her a whore.

Then he saw her as an equal or perhaps even lower. He wasn't the one who was filing for divorce. (Which to him was a greater, totally different class of sin from philandering, dirt-poor roots and stealing another man's identity.)

His feeling himself not worthy of her is why he would never subject her to rude, nasty, hair-pulling, leave-for-dead, sex in the afternoon as he would his other women. That is why he accepted her looks of disdain, her orders for him to leave the house or not come home.

He never saw her as arm candy or a trophy wife. Yes, he wanted to show her off but that was because he was proud such a beautiful woman agreed to marry him when he was a lowly copywriter and she was model from Main Line who'd attended to Bryn Mawr.

Contrast to Don and Peggy:
Here Don knew he was Peggy's superior in knowledge and experience. She started as his secretary, a graduate of a secretarial school. Freddie recognized she could turn a phrase and told Don who put her first as a junior copywriter and promoted her from there. From the first day on the job, Don made it clear they were not going to have sex because he was her boss, not her boyfriend.

Knowing how much alike they are, at least in his mind, he knows how well they work together, an extension of himself. It's her mind he wants, not her body. If Kurt had the same kind of mind, he'd pursue Kurt for the same reason. He needs Peggy's extension to make his end of SCDP work.

In short, Don didn't need Betty except to round out what he saw as the perfect life. Peggy was a necessity in his new business.

Why doesn't a man beg his wife to try again? Because he doesn't love her...he doesn't value her...

Thirteen and others, I couldn't agree more. We have no idea what Betty was like when Don first met her. The writers have never taken her part of the storyline back that far. No flashbacks for Betty have ever been presented. We have only been shown a bitter woman whose husband is a workaholic that continuosly cheats on her. Any wonder why she acts like an unhappy woman who, when the opportunity presents itself to escape from a guy who makes her miserable, grabs it and runs?
@May: Betty had more than an inkling that Don was from a poor, rural background because he did discuss some of that with her. She knew he he was cheating on her all the way back in Season One....that's why she went to the shrink. This is no overnight revelation. It's taken her this long to decide to bail. One thing is true: the fear of a woman during that era venturing out alone after a divorce was enough to keep Betty from taking action....and Henry Francis provided just the right safety net. If not for him, maybe she would have continued with this shallow sham of a marriage.
Oh, and it's verrrrry hard to act like a Happy Mommy when Daddy can't keep it in his pants. Don's screwing around has finally come to rest on the heads of his kids, but he seems pretty clueless about that. As you can see, he never really fought to keep his kids either.

This is slightly off-topic, but I would like to address what on this thread seems to be a continual attack on Betty in terms of motherhood and Don's complete pass on fatherhood. Specifically I direct you to the scene that takes place as Don & Betty enter their home and greet Carla on their return from Rome. Carla asks how was their trip. Betty asks how things are at home. Carla replies there's a slight problem that can be dealt with later. Betty says, no, tell me now. Carla replies that there is an issue with Sally's anger. Betty sighs heavily and Don IMMEDIATELY finds a reason to go to his office. In other words, the moment some actual parenting needs to happen, i.e. discipline, Don is absolutely content to leave this unpleasantness to Betty. Don isn't just an absentee father in terms of being away from home most of the time, but even when he's there, he's not THERE. All parenting issues are left to Betty except on those rare occasions when Betty asks Don to discipline a child or encourages Don to play with the kids. (Like when he came home from work and asked where the kids were and she said: "They're out catching fireflies. Why don't you join them?" Otherwise, the only time we see Don giving his children affection is at a point where Betty is so overwrought that she is unavailable to them.

During "The Jet Set", Don takes off leaving word with NO ONE where he is and can't be reached, even by those at the office, much less Betty. The telling part is when Don returns and meets Betty at the stables he wants to get back together and Betty comments: "It must be nice to take time when you need it". Betty certainly needed time to think and reflect, a break, if you will, but there she was, performing the duties of motherhood (and fatherhood, at that point).

Many women have condemned Betty on this forum for being a cold mother, however I wonder how these women would react to their children if their husbands teated them the way Don treats Betty and if they found themselves in the position of always being the disciplinarian when hubby can sweep in at HIS convenience and comfort, play with or discipline at will -- with none of the day-to-day interaction with or responsibilities of child rearing. Don is the type of father who in 2009 terms would think of himself as "babysitting" his own children anytime his wife were out of the house. Most of us won't put up with THAT line of thinking in 2009, yet we are content to lock Betty in a situation where she is expected to subvert all sense of self, sacrifice her own mental health, and stay in an untenable situation for the sake of her children.

I personally am unable to reconcile that line of thinking.

There's no future with Betty; it's all future with Peggy.

He doesn't love her either. She's a Barbie doll, which she always was, she was a model before he made her quit her job. She was a cover for the fact that Don Draper had a wife before. I don't think Don loves anyone, because he doesn't love himself.

One more thing about Don -- he fought for Peggy to stay and keep him afloat at work because he's like many men -- his profession is his identity. In Don's case this is even more exaggerated. He went out and found a wife that he thought his fantasy paper doll character Don Draper would marry and created a facade that he tolerated because it props up the facade.

Everyone is happy starting over in a new exciting adventure, Pete, Peggy, Sterling, Bert, Don and then there is Betty left holding the bag and the responsibility of raising three children, one a small infant. She is taking a risk on a man she hardly knows. But given the circumstances, wouldn't anyone try and hope and pray that it works out? Let's hope they make Francis a good and decent man who truly wants to make her happy and cares for her. And wouldn't it be wonderful if he turned out to be a positive influence for the children, especially Bobby who I think has been ignored to a great degree? It is not Betty who has broken the children's heart but Don with his constant cheating, lying and narcistic behavior.
Linda

@Bipolarbear: "Don isn't just an absentee father in terms of being away from home most of the time, but even when he's there, he's not THERE. All parenting issues are left to Betty"

Of course, you're right. But to be fair, Don didn't have the best role models to teach him how to parent. His mom did raise him pretty much single-handed, with Dad only there to discipline (and Don is rightfully afraid of disciplining his kids that way and turning into that sort of hateful dad).

And we can't pin Don's belief that Betty is Queen of the home and he the King of work entirely on him. If he lived now, in 2009, we could blame him and only him as he's plenty of different role models to choose from, but back then that model was the only model on the floor. Once men came home from WWII and needed all those jobs that had been done by women, the U.S. government itself put out the propaganda that a woman's place was in the home taking care of the kids.

I remember seeing one of those many 50's instructional films--the short ones that tell you everything from how to politely each lunch at school to going on a date. In the one I saw, it firmly told the kids, "Your father has had a hard day at work. When he comes home, don't make noise. Don't question him or cause trouble."

And this was all reinforced by television shows which always had mom as happy homemaker and wise dad as breadwinner. Here, by the way, are a bunch of those instructional films: http://internetarchive.wordpress.com/2009/01/14/learn-how-to-be-a-teen-in-1950/

I'm not saying Don should be let off the hook for all his decisions, but I am saying that Don is a reflection and often an embodiment of American practices, prejudices and beliefs. Even the nurse at the hospital tells him, when he arrives with Betty in labor, "your job is done--" and sends him off to the waiting room. So how is he ever to know that there's a different way of viewing his role, or doing it differently?

We can't entirely blame Don if all he knows about the job of being a good husband and father comes from the propaganda of instructional films and television sit-coms.

@Thirteen: Thank god for your even-handed, perceptive intellect. I really enjoy your posts.

I don't think Mr. Weiner intended for us to choose sides between Betty and Don Draper. One is not supposed to represent good and the other bad. I think we are supposed to view them in them their totality as human beings, in the context of their time, but with a modern appreciation and sensitivity for the challenges and obstacles they faced and the roles society intended for them to play. At times, each is admirable and beautiful. At other times, each is despicable and pitiable. Don is a talented and resourceful man, but also unfaithful and deeply insecure, yet we get to see where his drive to succeed and need for certain comforts emanates. Betty is an educated woman of some talents as well who yearns for "something more" (she want to matter!) but who is trapped by her own expectations, beliefs and choices (though perhaps she is headed for escape?).

We don't have to like them all the time (or hate them).

But we can all appreciate what masterful representations they are of people living in that era of change in America that was the early sixties. And we can wish them both well, because life is hard.

But Thirteen....sincere thanks for all your posts.

I guess I should have prefaced my post with: Betty isn't blameless, BUT. At any rate, my post really was a response to the many posts I've read in the open thread, and one here in which Betty alone has been marked solely responsible for the children's well being.

Thirteen, of course, you're right about Don having no role model for parenting.

My point was simply that I was tired of Betty getting all the blame for being a cold and insensitive mother and none of the credit for those little things like every day when we see Don's alarm go off, the bed next to him is empty because Betty is dressed and downstairs already cooking breakfast for the kids.

This marriage is probably the best example ever of why certain people should never marry one another. Neither is blameless.

As a child of divorce myself, I cannot see the recommendation that divorce is somehow better than two parents staying together. It just isn't.
Divorce stinks. The scene where Don and Betty broke the news to the children devastated me emotionally and sent me right back to the moment my parents did nearly the exact same thing - verbatim - when I was a child. I was about Sally's age and my brother was about Bobby's age.

It is really unfair to be slinging so much mud upon Betty's mothering skills. This is a long-suffering woman who has been living for years on mere "scraps" of love and attention from Don. He was busy giving it all away to the numerous women he bedded on the side. Remember the scene of him in bed with Suzanne snuggled up next to her with his arm around her, intimately clinging to her for dear life? When did you EVER see him show such loving, intimate affection toward Betty? Never. Perhaps this is why she harbors so much resentment and is so cold - she is ANGRY! I'd be angry to if I never got what I need and my husband wasan't doing his job at home.

I apologize if I repeat anything here, I don't have time to read everyone's comments, but I couldn't resist posting my own.

I thought it was hugely appropriate that Don fought for Peggy and not Betty. Actually, what I got from that was that in fact Don was fighting for himself. What he had with Betty is lost forever. He is no longer Don Draper in that relationship. He is Dick, a total and complete stranger to both Betty and himself. It can't go back to the way it was. However, with Peggy, Don is Don. He knows who he is in that relationship. In many ways Don needs Peggy's reassurance that he will be okay. Her character parallels his in many ways. She stumbled into her life by chance just like he did and she has used that opportunity to advance herself beyond the working class family that she was born into.

Don said it himself, Peggy is an extension of him. But he also recognized that she isn't. She is her own person and he is learning to respect that. Don Draper took a huge step forward in his evolution in the season finale, he is no longer a maverick loner. He now recognizes that he needs people. He needs Roger, he needs Pete, and he needs Peggy. It is just a shame that he didn't learn this lesson sooner and possibly save his marriage.

I knew that the marriage was over once he started up with Suzanne. It was too close to home, he was playing a dangerous game and actually falling in love with her, and letting her imagine a life beyond some affair. It was beautiful when that fantasy came crashing down.

As for Betty, I worry about her. I fear she is trading one unhappiness for another. She doesn't know who she is beyond a beautiful woman. She shows moments of admirable strength, but underneath she is just as broken and damaged as Don. Her proper upbringing just taught her to mask it.

I think no matter what Don did, Betty would never take him back, and not because of all the lies and affairs either. She would never take him back because she is not secure in him as the man that she chose to take care of her. She is afraid of the poor abused illegitimate boy. She could put up with the lying and cheating because she always knew she was Mrs. Don Draper, but when learning that her husband was not who she believed him to be, she also lost who she believed herself to be.

Henry, is not just a financial lifeboat but he also saves her from having to discover who she truly is. She is swapping one man's identity for another. I am not at all criticizing Betty, she is a product of her time and class. She breaks my heart because I want her to be stronger, I have wanted her to be stronger since moment one. But in this Mad Men world reality of the time trumps modern day hopes for these characters.

The depth and complexity of this world amazes me and that is why I keep coming back for more. These aren't characters, they are people, complex people all the time being pushed and pulled by so many different factors. No one is perfect and no one is completely flawed and in that way each and every person who steps on to the screen is perfect and complete and human.

Just my two cents, thanks for reading.

The problem with any discussion of Don and Betty's relationship is those 7 years between when they were married and when we first see them in season 1, in 1960. Without more knowledge of that, there is no way to know for sure what happened. We see such small glimpses, a few photographs in "Carousel", it's not enough.

One thing I would LOVE to know...who's idea was it to move out to the suburbs? Don's, Betty's, or both? Because that decision caused much of Betty's disappointment with her life. It allowed Don to split his Don life just like he had already split his life as Dick/Don, into a Work and a Home Don. Not having to be the same person throughout his life caused such a schism in a person already fighting such a chasm in his identity.

Peggy's more important to him. Period.

Hi everyone!

Great posts!

I always thought Don felt Betty was above him in class, because Don is really Dick. Betty was a person Dick needed to become Don.

To me, Peggy is Don's female persona. I think he looks at her and sees himself.

Don spent his entire time with Betty fearful she would discover who he really was and would reject him. Then, she did. I think he felt he deserved her "I don't love you any more" and that ended it for him. I don't mean it ended his love, but it was what he expected and accepted of her. A self fulfilled prophesy.

Next season, I hope to see the comparisons of Betty being with the image conscious type she might have been expected to marry when she met Don, and her life with Don. She obviously wanted Don to want her...we see her slump when he says he won't fight her on the divorce. She is disappointed. She isn't finished with Don, she is just beginning to find out she wants more than what she thought she wanted. Or, perhaps, we will see she is the hollow woman she sometimes appears to be.

Don got exactly what he deserved. Now he knows how it feels to be rejected. Betty has known it all along. Remember, when he pulled her out of bed and called her a whore. She said "I was never good enough for you." Betty has known about ALL of Don's mistresses and it has hurt her deeply. It took away all of her confidence and self-respect. She has suffered from depression for most of her married years.

On top of all that, she finds out on her own that Don has been lying to her all these years. Don isn't even really Don Draper; he is Dick Whitman. Remember Betty asked Don "isn't that illegal/" Well, now Betty has to worry about the legality of her marriage, her name, her children's names and who is their "real" father - Don Draper or Dick Whitman? For the sake of her children, she can't get a lawyer or report Don to the authorities, so what other option does she have? To keep pretending she is Betty "Draper" and get a divorce from "Don Draper" who doesn't really exist. But at least she can keep her children legitimate that way.

What would you do if you were married 10 years, you knew your husband was cheating on you all of those years, you knew he made a lot of money but kept you on an allowance, and now you find out he's been lying about his, yours and your children's identity all of those years? And along comes another man, Henry Francis, who pursues you, loves you, respects you and wants to marry you, AND said he will take care of your kids, too. After all, Roger told Don "my daughter is friends with Henry's daughter - Henry talks about Betty all the time." Betty has finally found a way out of the life that has kept her in a constant state of depression and unhappiness for all of those years.

However, I would like to see if Matt Weiner can find a believable way to reverse this entire situation in the next 2 seasons. I would like to see Don deal with his problems, figure out who he really is and become a real man. Right now, he is an unhappy guy from a bad childhood who goes from woman to woman. No woman can make him happy because he is not happy with himself. Then, ultimately, I would like to see Don and Betty get back together after they have both dealt with their own problems (I don't believe Betty's childhood was very happy either despite coming from money). I don't see Betty with Henry Francis. Don and Betty already have a family. Let's see if they can both overcome their problems, fall back in love and live happily ever after. I like the romantic endings.

tangles16 -
I think Betty's quote was, "I was never enough for you!" which is different from "good enough." Because it's the other way around. Don never saw himself as good enough for her. He never wanted her to see or know the "Dick" part of his life and saw her on a "Wife and Mother" pedestal, not as a "Partner in Life." Having "Wife and Mother" status meant she should not be sullied by that knowledge.

Which meant when the "Dick" urges (pun intended) arose, he had to go elsewhere. If, at the beginning of their marriage, she'd gotten him naked and tied him down for her pleasure, and his, things might have been very different. But the odds on that or something like that happening in those days were so slight, an honest, open marriage was doomed from the start. Something inside of him always knew from under the facade of Don, the real Dick had to erupt now and then.

Will they get back together? Unlikely. A marriage counselor/encounter where each one's mask was torn off, might bring them to honesty. But after Don finally saw her as a human being, he didn't like what he saw. It wasn't in line with his image of what he'd married in 1953. Just as what Betty saw after finding the Box and hearing his confession, she decided he was not the person she thought she'd married. Each married with illusions about who the other person was.

Could a woman remain married for years and years to a man who repeatedly cheats on her? Just ask Mona Sterling. It was the revelation of Dick Whitman and the stolen identity that broke the camel's back for Betty.

IMHO, just as Mona would have remained married to Roger if he hadn't said he wanted a divorce, Betty would have endured marriage to Don (cold and dry as it might have seemed at times) if she hadn't opened Pandora's Box. Don was a far more than good provider and a loving father to their children. For many women, that's enough.

Ritt1, I agree with most of what you are saying. However, from the scene of the Drapers in Italy with Betty in her sexy black lingerie and Don on top of her on the bed, it seems they had a pretty good sex life. Also, Betty wasn't afraid to let it be known to Don when SHE wanted sex.

There have been several times when they've shown love and caring toward each other. I think Betty truly was sorry for Don when he cried on the bed while explaining Dick Whitman after Betty discovered the truth. Also Betty looked sad when Don called her to say he wasn't going to fight her - I think somewhere deep inside she wanted him to fight for her. I can't see her with Henry Francis. Also I couldn't believe it when Don took Grampa Gene into their house to live because the whole scenario was upsetting Betty who had just had a baby. How many husbands would take their father-in-law, especially one that they don't get along well with, into their homes without a fight?

I believe Don and Betty do love each other. They have kids together and both love their kids. They have a good connection sexually. I can see them getting back together. My husband and I have friends (2 married couples) who have both suffered through alcoholism (one couple the husband was the addict and one couple the wife). They fought, they cheated on each other, they separated a few times, but in the end - both couples are together today (in their 60's) and they claim to love each other more because of all they've been through.

I think there is hope yet for Don and Betty as long as both do some soul searching and come to terms with their less than ideal childhoods. They both need to grow up. But I think Matt Weiner can make this happen in the next 2 seasons - and in a very believable way. I hope MW does just that because I like happy endings. Many times Don thought the "grass was greener" with other women only to find out it wasn't. Don can never be happy with ANY woman until he is happy with himself.

Very much agree, Tangles16. And the same goes for Betty. She can never be happy with ANY man, until she is happy with herself.

Don could not fight for Betty because in an intimate relationship like a marriage -- once irreparable damage is done -- continuous flandering, loss of trust -- you reach a point of no return. Don never changed; he never even tried. Betty found someone who loved her and accepted her as she was. Wasn't always thinking of her as a little girl or trying to fix her. That was flaws in Don that he was trying to project on to her.

With Peggy it is a work relationship. Plus they know bad things about each other -- yet still respect each other. Don had never betrayed Peggy -- her secrets are safe with him and visa versa. So all Don had to do was to treat her like an equal (which she is) and all is forgiven.

tangles16 -
Betty wasn't afraid to let it be known to Don when SHE wanted sex
Uh, that would be twice that we've seen in two years, no, make it three. I forgot the Valentine's Day night at the hotel. Then at Daddy Gene's and this year, in Rome. If you notice, none of the three are not at home in Ossining. (Unlike S1)

Betty might have felt sad for Don/Dick but that didn't keep her from running off to Henry. After she went through the Box, she didn't love him any more. Period. In spite of him not having done any of the things he described (except paying for Anna's house) since their marriage. The Kennedy assassination/ Oswald killing was just the catalyst. For all practical purposes, he was the same Don Draper, advertising man, she'd married, not the dirt-poor Dick Whitman.

It reminds me of the story Roger told about Mona dreaming he had killed a dog. She was mad at him even if he hadn't killed a dog, that it was a dream. They didn't even have a dog!

It wasn't pride that kept Don from fighting for her. It was more that he was going to let her find out what made her happy. Fighting for her would only mean that he thought she was in the wrong and she'd be on the defensive. Possibly do something he wouldn't want to happen, such as calling the Army. She as much as threatened to do that the night before.

Don fought for Peggy and not for Betty because he knew Peggy still believed in him. Peggy had offers to leave even after Don treated her badly she stayed on. Peggy is extremely loyal when it comes to Don. Betty is just self absorbed in her naive little world. Out of the two women, Peggy is definitely stronger, loyal, the most understanding of Don. He needs Peggy, he pretty much said it. He doesn't need the image of Betty anymore. I think we see in this last episode that Don has finally gain true confidence in himself that he doesn't need is outward mask or disguise to pretend he has the perfect life. He quickly confided to Roger and hinted to Joan that he was divorcing. The old Don would have kept quiet for as long as he could. Don is maturing already from his divorce with Betty.

I'm beginning to wonder if Peggy is in love with Don. I posted a topic about this but it didn't come up. Remember how she flirted with Don at their first meeting and Don turned her down. Remember how she looks at Don like a love sick teenager. All of those guys that Peggy turned down was really because they didn't measure up to Don. Don gave her a career, an identity and her confidence. She has a strong attraction for him. Remember how shy Peggy was in the first episode in Season 1. For her to pick up her boss on her first day was very bold for her. Don said that he sees himself in Peggy and we all know that Don loves himself more than anything. He may feel some attraction to Peggy after all.

Don did his fighting for Betty in S2 over several episodes after she threw him out following the "discovery" of his affair with Bobbie. "But she's old!"

The only reason she took him back was because she was pregnant, not because she'd ever forgiven him or truly wanted him back. He was allowed to return only because she didn't have a better alternative. He, on the other hand, thought she'd forgiven him and as part of that thought, said Daddy Gene could live with them because the situation was upsetting her. Don was doing a lot of stuff (until after their return from Rome) because she wanted it, not because he did.

Peggy, on the other hand, knows he's married and has had affairs. I don't think she's in love with him but has a low-level crush. In the beginning an older, experienced, handsome boss and junior, impressionable new hire. That matured into deep respect for him despite his flaws. She's not expecting love from him, just respect.

Don doesn't know who she's had sex with (Pete, Burger Boy and Duck that we know of) and doesn't really care as long as she and her mind are at work when she's doing business. He would probably be disappointed finding about her relationship with Duck, mostly because he doesn't respect Duck.

I said this on another post, but it also applies here.

I think fighting for Peggy vs Betty is apples and oranges.

Peggy, fresh out of Miss Seaver's Secreterial School, made a play for Don on her first day at work because she believed that 's what Joan told her to do. She respects Don for the great work he does and knows that he gave her her big chance. Of the copywriters Peggy was the best one for the new business. Who else, Paul? I don't think so. Both Don and Peggy have a bond that is not romantic. Don is her mentor and she admires him and appreciates how he does business, but is not in love with him, There are plenty of female/male mentorships that have nothing to do with romantic love.

Don doesn't know how to save a marriage or even be in one. He knows only what advertising tells him what a marriage is. During the 60's & early 70's a lot of people believed what the media touted. The word "dysfunction family" wasn't heard of. Everyone should be "Leave It To Beaver", "Donna Reed" or the "Partridge Family"

Between Betty thinking outside the box and the McCann Erickson takeover Don can only handle one thing at a time and jumping into work (and alcohol) is his escape.

Ironic isn't it that McCann Erickson was Betty's first "outside the box" experience.

The relationship with Peggy is not as severely broken as that with Betty. The wounds and the mistakes are far deeper in his marriage. He's just being pragmatic - following the line he's had since the begining: fix what you can then move on.

It is far easier to fix something that is less painful and the tears in his eyes when he goes to get Peggy back have more to do with Betty.

That being said, I like the teacher far more than I like Betty - she's more exciting and new. With the teacher, he's discovering America, leaving stable, solid Europe behind. And isn't this show about America's coming of age and loss of innocence?

Everybody, go back and watch Don give the Kodak presentation. It's easy to see that Betty was not just a trophy wife to Don. They loved each other. Their family was happy and together. Don destroyed their family, just as Betty said. Go back and watch it. He didn't beg her to stay because he knows the damage has been done and he did it.

We will all drop our jaws next season as Peggy leaves Don high and dry at mid-season, I predict she'll make her own way..she owes Don no loyalty~she is talented and Don didn't hand that to her. Don doesn't have it in him to earn that loyalty, not on an emotional or professional level...Betty's love has to be earned. Don gets home for dinner, then arrogantly says he has to work, spends the night right into the bed of the hussy teacher...who I think will become a stalker that Don won't know what to do with!

Don got away with disrespecting Betty because she allowed him to. He probably doesn't take the break up seriously. Peggy stands up for her and doesn't keep quiet when she has something to say, he must respect that.

The point is that Don has always struggled with who is is in life, Dick or Don, married or bachelor, but at work he is very confident and sure, he knows advertising.
At work what he needs, who he needs, what he has to do to survive is clear, I mean even the lighting and shots in the show are clearer. But in his life things are darker, unsure, one minute this, then that.
He fought for Peggy because he knows he needs her, and that she needs him (being that in her own life she is unsure of what she wants) but in his marriage, I think he did love her at one point, and thought Betty is what he wanted, but again, he has never had that figured out.
Come to think of it pretty much everyone at sterling cooper was that way.
Ahh.... what a great show.

How about because Peggy wanted to keep Don in her life, more than Betty did.

Don wants and wanted no drama. he figured if he married a woman, gave her money and kept her quiet, he would never have to worry about her leaving him.

In all honesty, he knows he messed up and I think the first selfless thing he did was NOT fight for Betty. He let her go...knowing that she will be more happy without him. I think this is a gateway into Don becoming more involved and concerned about his kids. He always loved being a dad more than a husband anyway.

don is/was to betty what peggy is to don.

Peggy has shameful secret that is on par with Don's false identity. Peggy is a mother and a mother who gave up a child. He watched her move through this situation and survive and I think she makes him feel more "normal". "Peggy is doing this lie and she is ok; I can, too." The other part of the relationship is Peggy is as talented as Don in advertising. She is his intellectual and creative equal and is the only one who is able to pique his interest or to boost his own creativity. He knows without a family, building the new partnership will be his mission for the foreseeable future and he is truly afraid he won't excel if he does not have her there to ground and inspire him. She does not bore him and all of the other employees do.

As someone astutely observed: Betty was Don/Dick's idealized woman, but not the ideal woman for him.

Something changed when Don had the opportunity in Palm Springs to run away again and start over with the not-so-subtley named "Joy". When he saw the two innocent children being dragged around by their gypsy father, he recognized for the first time a sense of responsiblity to someone other than himslelf and at that moment seemed to begin synthesizing fully into Don Draper. The transformation felt complete in the season finale when he took charge of a crisis (Ster Coo being sold again), stayed and fought and became a leader, instead of reverting to Dick and running away which, with Betty divorcing him, he had every reason to do.

The moment when he came home drunk and called Betty a whore, waking his infant son, Don realized he was behaving like Archie, his drunken, abusive father. At that moment, he realized the marriage to Betty was something inauthentic, and all he was doing anymore was causing her pain.

Don has always seen himself in Peggy: a misfit with an innate talent that the rigid society of that time would not have acknowledged ordinarily b/c of their outward packaging. Madison Avenue would never have given poor, hardscrabble, non college educated Dick Whitman a chance, but as Don Draper, his talent was recognized. As a woman, Peggy would never have been seriously considered at that time unless Don (and Freddy Rumson-another misfit) were able to spot her gift for advertising. Like Don, Peggy has also been desperate to distance herself from her provincial past and reivent herself in Manhattan. Don see's keeping Peggy as keeping part of himself, not shunning it as he did his brother Adam.

Also interesting that in the end, the junior staff selected to joing Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce were all the risk takers: Pete for advancing forward ideas and being pushy about his career; Harry for stepping out and creating the TV Dept; Peggy for becoming a copywriter and asking for the things she wants. Those left behind: Paul, Cosgrove, Kurt and Smitty were those who just went along.

Let's remember that Don is still Dick Whitman in everything but name. Becoming Don Draper meant he could become Creative Director at Sterling Cooper and marry Betty. As Dick Whitman he could do neither.

Betty was the trophy wife that Don needed to further his career. Don is a very driven person who will do what is required. Betty also used Don to give her the lifestyle she grew up with. They have used each other and loved the image each gave the other. Their ten year marriage is over and sadly Sally, Bobby and Gene will live with the remenents, while Don and Betty will try to find something to make them happy. Both Don and Betty better do right by their kids; Sally has some big time issues with both her parents and both Don and Betty will be tested. Betty will find being married to Henry will be tougher than being married to Don.

Don Peggy and Pete will make the difference in the success or failure of Sterling Cooper Draper & Pryce in 1964. This is an end of an era for America and the characters on Mad Men. Peggy and Don are soul mates in a professional sense. Don is more hurt about his business failure with Conrad Hilton than he is with his divorce. That cut Don to the core.

I think Don and Peggy have a special bond, they trust and respect each other, despite their personal history... Betty saying 'I don't love you'..was devastating to Don..he always had that as a safety net before!

Don always knew that if Betty knew he was really Dick Whitman, he would never had a chance with her. He was living the dream. Don knew that if Betty ever found out about the truth, she would leave him because she married the status Don could bring. Not the man. I was not surprised that Betty was so quick to marry the city council man, a man with upper class status in society.

Don needs Peggy around in the new firm because she is as real and down to earth as himself. Two talented people who have made something of themselves and lost something of themselves in order to be where they are now. Yes, Don does seem to have his head in the clouds when it comes to women, but I think that is attributed to him being self-concious over his roots. Don needs Peggy to keep balance in the office with all the spoiled rich brats who have never had a hard day in their life.

Don threw his younger half-brother Adam "under the bus" and lived to regret it. With Peggy, his young protege, he takes the opportunity for a do-over.

Why did Don fight for Peggy and NOT Betty?
That's easy Don has not slept with Peggy has no desire to or urge- he see Peggy as part of the inner workings to help Don make the deal ,to assist and establish success for the betterment of "Don" . Peggy is loyal and see's Don as the Father she no longer has- Peggy wants to please and Don know this.

On the other hand Betty was more of a possession a hunt and conquer for Don - He did just that with Betty and he's over her - and that segment of his life. He will fight for the kids-

Don did fight for Betty. All season long, and she just got bitchier. Why else do you think Matt Weiner got the ultra sophisticated Don Draper involved with Miss Farrell?
In previous seasons, when Don was not sticking close to home and fighting for his marriage, he would never even have met Miss Farrell!
that was the whole metaphor for the "in deep water" season. Don was fighting on every front.

You all have got it nailed!!! Don is the walking personification of many men today, career first, wife and family second!!! He is Bill Clinton without the smart-looking, blond broad who needs him for Her Future!!! So, where are Mathew and the writers taking us in 2010???? Many directions are possible......Joan's husband is killed in Nam, she marries Roger (who's already ditched sex-kitten Jane...), and then Don either goes for Peggy, or the needy school tchr with the weird brother!!! Question is, How are we gonna make it til August of next year????

Where are we going to go to avoid our own problems????? LOL....

Peggy and Don reflect each other. Peggy is the woman who comes closest to understanding him. Midge and Rachel came close. Betty was simply a trophy wife to help Dick Whitman start his new life with a new image. I do feel great compassion for Sally and Bobby--they have put up with a lot, as has Betty, by the way. The actress who plays Sally is fantastic--she should get an Emmy for Best Actress!!! Although I do miss the old Bobby--he was tremendous. Betty doesn't "get" the real Don/Dick. Peggy does. Peggy sees Don's flaws and loves him anyway. Don represents what Peggy would like to be in her career. Peggy sees Don's kindness and depth and appreciates him all the more for it. I would love for the writers to have Don and Peggy connect romantically. Matthew, please call me so I can write for this spectacular show!!!

Don and Peggy are very much alike. They both come from humble backgrounds and their work is the most important thing in their lives. Without it they are nothing. Work got them through the Kennedy assasination and it has also played a role in helping them heal after their personal relationships end. The new agency, which I can't wait to see in Season 4 is composed of a staff of people who are looking beyond their private lives into their work for fullfillment. And I believe that energy if it is well placed will make for one hell of a successful shop. Mad Men is a masterpiece!

As the late, great Isaac Hayes said, "He's a complicated man and no one understands him but his woman." Except in Don's case, his woman doesn't either. On one hand Don wants to see Betty as the perfect wife and mother, yet on the other hand there's a part of him that sees her for what she is, a sham. Neither side of him in this case can bring him to the point of salvaging the marriage. Either he doesn't deserve her forgiveness, or he doesn't want it. The only logical/moral solution would have been for him to maintain the sham marriage "for the sake of the kids" as so many in the 1950s and 1960s did. The jury is still out on whether this is better for the kids or not. It seems to me that the kids need Don more than they need Betty and possibly the worst thing Don has ever done is to allow himself to be removed from their lives.For his sake, their sake, and ours as viewers, I hope this doesn't happen.

WOW!! Whether we all agree or disagree...one thing's for certain:

WE TOTALLY LOVE OUR MAD MEN!

I THINK WE CAN ALL CONCUR!

NO?!!

~RDEE~