My day on the set of Mad Men Part 4

Sunday, May 17th

"C'mon sweetheart, you can't keep staring at your phone," said Craig, as he lifted my eyes to his. "We're supposed to be enjoying our brunch, not worrying about a phone call..."

I interrupted him.

"No, it's not just a phone call. It's a phone call about Mad Men." I corrected him, with a tinge of irritation in my voice. "And this isn't just ANY call," I puncutated the ANY, and took a slurpe of coffe for emphasis.

Craig sank back in his chair and shrugged his shoulders.

"I dunno. Perhaps you should think about lying off the double lattes this morning."

"HA HA. Look who's a comedian this morning...."

"Whatever," snipped Craig, opening up his paper with a snap, "I just hope you don't implode by today's end, if they don't call you."

I narrowed my eyes at him dangerously, "I'm sorry, what was that about them not calling?"

He lowered his paper, and challenged my flashing eyes.

"I said IF they don't call. I never said they wouldn't call..."

"Craig, way to be supportive here...."

"Hey, I AM being supportive. I'm just trying to keep your feet on the ground, you've been so jumpy since yesterday..."

"How would YOU feel? I never wanted anything so badly in my..."

"I know, baby, and they WILL call. You just have to be..."

"(I have to be) PATIENT."

We both stopped when we said PATIENT in unisom. It was one of those couple's moments, when you're on the same wavelength, and though it takes time to land on the same page, you'll eventually get there. This happens to us a lot when we've had arguments. Three cheers for being together for 8 years!

When we both stopped, we looked at each other, exchanged an embarrassed glance, and started to chuckle. I gave him a playful snarl while I shook my fists at him, and laughed a bit more freely. Without saying anything, we clasped hands; I kissed his hand, while he reached over to smooth the hair from my eyes, and softly kissed my forehead. He then whispered in my ear, "They called you. They want you there. There's nothing to worry about."

I looked into his eyes soulfully, and trusted his words, though I couldn't fully be sure. In my gut, I felt something was wrong.

For the duration of my Sunday, I tried courageously to distract myself, and shuffle off any nagging doubts I had about working on set the following week. I worked, puttered around my office organizing a few things for my flight to Los Angeles in the morning, and combed through my closet, to select what I would wear for the next 4 days.

"It will happen," I repeated to myself, over and over, like a desperate mantra, trying the silence the quiet nagging in my gut.

"It will happen. It will happen."

It was now 7pm, and I was meeting with my last client of the day. I hadn't heard a peep from Central Casting, though I had made 2 follow up phone calls, to reiiterate I was available and making my plans to be at my costume fitting on Monday.

Yeah, well, nevermind that I had no idea WHEN my costume fitting would be, I just knew that I had one, and I would be on the 7am flight Monday morning, ready for my marching orders from LAX, as my flight was arriving around 8:45am.

"It will happen. It will happen."

My last appointment of the day went surprisingly well, as I had really pumped myself up in session, chatting happily with my client about my Mad Men opportunity. I had a double layer of inspiration during my session, as my client counseled me not to worry, that the agency was probably super busy, and wasn't able to get back to me. Now see? THIS is what I really needed to hear! Some good ol' fashioned horse sense!

What my client sagely counseled me on suddenly turned a light switch on in my craw.

"Of course! It's a huge agency, and you're just one tiny moving part. You have nothing to worry...."

But, what's this? As if on cue, my nagging gut returned, like a moth smashing itself against the white glare of a flame, safely shrouded in it's crystal orb.

I felt myself internally shake my internal nagging into silence, and I finished up with my client, and clean up my incall space for the day. I busied myself with my end of the day routine, did a bit of paperwork, locked up my office, and headed home. I was psychically exhausted from all the worry I was trying to suppress, and was further wearied, knowing I had a few things to tend to, before I could fall into a blissful slumber. I just knew the minute I sat down, my internal nagging would begin, thus my fears would roar back, and I would fight off the noise, just to fall asleep. My flight was leaving at 7am, which meant I had to be at SFO at 6am. All this anxiety added up to the stark reality that it would be very, VERY difficult to get some proper sleep.

Like car breaks squealing to a halt, I realized...MY PHONE! I haven't checked it yet! As I reached into my purse, I close my eyes, and did gave a silent prayer to the gods in the ethers (you know who you are), that Central Casting had called, to reassure me that my gut wrenching worry over these last 2 days has been utterly silly, and that I was still wanted on the set, to work on Mad Men this coming Wednesday. As I switched on my phone, my iphone screen alighted. I sucked in my breath, when I saw no call from Central Casting, beyond a call from my Mom and from Craig. I wanted to unleash a primal scream of frustration, but I was afraid I would terrify the neighborhood, and I certainly didn't feel like being accosted by the cops this late in the evening.

When I walked in the front door, Craig was waiting for me. I dropped my coat and purse in a heap, smiled tightly, and headed for the liquor cabinet.

"No word?" he asked, apprehensively.

I shook my head silently, as I poured myself a glass of bordeaux, and stared out the window. Finally, after a long moment, I sighed aloud. My nose was beginning to tingle, as I held back tears. You know that feeling right? When you're holding it together, your nose tingles, and your bottom chin begins to quiver from the stress of NOT crying? Yeah, that was me.

"I don't know what to do, Craig," I sighed again, as I shook my head with exasperation. My emotional floodgates opened wide, and I turned to face him. I had hot tears of anger rolling down my face. It was RANT time. I set my glass on the counter with a loud CLANK.

"They should've called, you know? I don't feel good about this. My 7pm client told me I shouldn't worry, that they're a big agency, but I've left SIX calls: 3 yesterday and 3 today. If they don't need me anymore, fine. But why not call me? This is insane...what am I supposed to do..."

Craig interrupted me.

"Ok, and I agree with you. But think this through: if they DIDN'T want you, they WOULD HAVE called. Don't you agree?"

I wiped my tears and squinted at him skeptically, not sure how to answer that. I silently wondered, with a sick tummy, if this is how the business in Los Angeles worked. And if so, did I want to be a part of an industry so disrespectful, that they couldn't even bother with a courtesy phone call. I realized I was no January Jones, or for that matter, Jon Hamm, but not to call someone, after six phone calls, and let them know what's going on? Really?

I took a healthy swig of wine, and felt it gently soothe my nerves. While I wasn't a drinker, by any stretch of the imagination, sometimes a girl needs a bold wine to temper the mood.

Breathe, LeAnne, BREATHE. It will happen!

Craig could see I was calming down a bit. He gently smiled, and continued.

"Look, I'll support you, either way here. Do I think it's disrespectful for them NOT to call? Absolutely. Do I think you should hop on that plane tomorrow morning, poised and ready for your costume fitting? YES. "

I smiled, in spite of myself.

"You think it's going to happen, and that they haven't called, because they're just busy, yes?"

Craig smiled wide.

"Yes, I do, Miss LeAnne. Have faith."

I looked at Craig, and I just wilted. He was wearing a big, toothy smile and the light in his eyes was luminous. I dropped my head and giggled in spite of myself, my frustration and anxiety. How could I NOT believe it would happen, when this man whom I loved so much, was SO sure? I felt silly to be so nervous, when Craig was so freakin' positive. Perhaps he knew something I didn't know, about the power of positive thinking, or he was putting on the best show ever, to shore up my confidence and belief in myself. Whatever he was doing, was working brilliantly, and I ran into his arms and held him to me tight.

Craig pulled away for a moment, and held me firmly by my shoulders.

"Hey, look at me," he said softly.

I raised my eyes to meet his.

"You are going to be on MAD MEN this Wednesday, May 20th, yes?"

A small smile was forming on my lips.

"My girlfriend is going to be on MAD MEN!"

My smile grew wide.

"Take that to bed with you tonight. There's no way you aren't getting on that plane tomorrow morning."

My smile was so wide by now, it was creasing my earlobes.

"I am. Damn straight."

Tomorrow, Part 5: Monday, May 15th, 2009.....