i agree completely. when Bobby was admonished about eating the English muffin in the car by Gene, something in Gene's tone was loving. If Betty had been there the kid would have been there she would have cut him deeper. also was nice to see Bobby not flinching or looking guilty. i know it is another actor playing the kid. well everyone is moaning Sally's loss, myself included, i feel bad for Bobby as well.

Agree with both of you. Like Sally, I hate it that Grandpa Gene's gone forevever and that he's never ever coming back! (Unless, as a poster suggested, Eugene Hofstadt #1 was mistakenly identified as Eugene Hofstadt #2, and therefore Grandpa Gene might reemerge somewhere down the line. Hey, far more implausible thoughts have been offered).

I hate to see the most consistently positive presence in Sally's and Bobby's lives disappear. Though his time with them was brief, it wasn't inconsequetial. Good thought, hobo, that Gene's admonisments to Bobby were not taken harshly by Bobby -- even the "Your sister likes 'em!" comment was about building up Sally, not putting down Bobby.

Grandpa Gene's boxed momentos scene was the first time since the "We have to find you a new daddy" scene that there's been non-negative one-on-one attention bestowed on Bobby -- and the former scene was not so positive, upbeat, exciting and hopeful like Gene's bestowing gifts (tanglible and otherwise) on Bobby.

Andrea, regarding Sally, I think Gene's big gifts to her were the seeds of confidence he instilled. She hadn't really felt that coming from anywhere else up to then; but those seeds will make all the difference in her life somehow.

How sad it was to see her clutching the book "The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire," when Don looked in on her, sleeping, in the pen-ultimate scene of "The Arrangements." Sad, sad, sad.

I think Betty is somewhat jealous of the relationship that the children have with Grandpa Gene. I don't think Gene was around that much when Betty was growing up.

The reason I say this is because I was born in the 60's and was an army brat just like Betty. My dad was always gone due to the fact that he served 4 deployments (volunteered for all of them!) in Vietnam and when he was home he didn't know how to relate to 4 small children. Plus back then, it was more of the mom's responsibility to raise the children.

Now that my dad is a grandfather...he wrote in his memoirs that he and my mom literally trip over each other trying to get the grandkids what they want. He apologizes to us all the time the he is afraid we resent him for not knowing how to be a dad with us. We are all so glad to see what a wonderful relationship he has with the grandchildren. Wasn't it Bill Cosby who said that" if he knew how much fun it would be to have grandkids, he would have had them first!!"

With that said..I think Gene is enjoying being with the grandchildren and wants to teach them whatever he can and be with them before his time was up.

I think the relationship with a grandparent and grandchild is a special thing. I remember being able to go to my grandmother when I wanted something that my parents had already told me no and she would get it for me and say "Now don't tell you parents." I loved her so much!!

Poor Sally is grieving but she will have wonderful memories of her grandfather.

Betty is only thinking "poor me" she is not looking at what a great thing her father has with the grandkids.

Well said, jeffe64.

The advantage of being a grandparent is that you realize the errors you made with your own kids. Mostly because you were busy making a living and didn't have the maturity to take the time to step back to guide them better.

I was fortunate in that I had a stay-at-home mom who had and took the time to talk with us. But as a grandma, she was even better.

My dad was gone a lot when I was a kid. As a grandpa he was a lot more loving to my and my sister's kids than he ever was to us.

Both of them are gone now...

@ritt1- I can see that you understand what I am saying. Had a Military Dad..who worked very hard...a stay at home Mom.. who is the most amazing women today...even had "in- home help" (like Carla) with a wonderful lady named Clara..bigger than life (three of us could sit on her lap)....we all loved her and were very afraid of her...and totally respected her! But there is nothing that compare to a child being so excited to see a grandparent or be able to spend time with them.

Our parents, just as we do with our children, learn from their mistakes...

I am still trying to tell my parents to stop beating themselves up by how we were raised. I loved my childhood and love being a product of the 60's.

This has probably been mentioned before, but it still gets to me that A.) When the policeman showed up and announced Gene's death, little Sally was left outside alone after she had voiced her sorrow!! B.) Again, when it was obvious, especially to Don (who was at least partially empathetic and looked sadder than William), that poor Sally was heartbroken....Betty calls her "hysterical" and commands her to "Go watch TV...". No one tried to hug her or comfort her, which may have been out of the norm back then but I'm pretty sure my mom would have tried to soothe my tears.
Betty is so cold with the kids. I wonder what the new baby is in for.

These have all been marvelous posts and as a early teen of the early 60's I completely relate to the parenting style .... Bobby and Sally are starved for recognition from ANYBODY... Grandpa Gene came along and the kids were drawn to him like shavings to a magnet.
As a parent I cringed at the inappropriate conversation topics but as a kid, any one on one that gave the feeling of inclusion was heady.
My own parents were remote, seemingly unfeeling but hugely protective...I referred to them as the Berlin Wall of parents... When my own children were born, I was amazed to see the turnaround. Dad, who had never changed a diaper in his life wanted a detailed tutorial on exactly how Pampers worked and any technique tips, on the chance that he mite be called upon to put one in place...The hugs and kisses showered on my darlings for all of their young lives by their previously undemonstrative grandparents helped mend a few holes in my heart like nothing else ever could have....Let's hope that Betty has a personal growth spurt and in the bargain begins to heal as well...

@Nana Benz- my dad never changed a diaper in his life. To me it would be a funny site to see him try and change one of the grandkids. I think he would draw the line on that one. He would do anything for them, but I can't picture him changing a diaper. Mom tells a story of when I was a baby and she left my dad and my uncle to watch me while she went to the store. She said when she got home hours later I was still in the same diaper (cloth diapers back then) she put me in before she left. Said Dad and Uncle were terrified of trying to change it. So in their heads it made since to just leave it alone. My dad served in Vietnam and could do anything,..... but change a diaper?!! I don't think so!! I guess dirty diapers were his kryptonite. LOL

Jeff, Dad never did actually change a diaper.. I was almost dumbstruck that he knew babies needed to be changed... Babies being completely out of his notice until they were big enough to cut the grass or wash the car....The only situation that topped that revelation was many years later when he took notice of the refrigerator and that he could actually open the door and pour his own cold glass of water.. My brother and I were visiting their home at the time and since we both saw the sight together and glanced at each other for comformation, we knew it was not a apparation but tangible fact....
Fathers of his era (WWll vet's) were waited upon hand and foot and did not enter the kitchen unless called to dinner. Our dad was one of the more extensively waited upon and was certainly the king of rhe kingdom.
At age 82 he began to show signs of dementia and was in the early stages of Alzheimers.. His Gerontologist, at a conference with my brother and I in attendance, suggested that if he made his own lunch or began to do a few small chores like placing dirty dishes in the sink, could go a long way toward helping him be a bit more active. We gave the Dr a brief history of how our Dad's life had been arranged for his every comfort and convenience. We, kindly and gently , let her know that her suggestions, tho constructive, were so far removed from his reality it would be an insurmountable obstacle .Dementia had no bearing on it at all...
Surely we are not alone here....

@nana benz, I can see how sad this is for you. My mom and all of us waited on dad for years, because that was what we were supposed to do and what he was accustomed to. My parents have been married for 50+ years and she finally after all these years, showed my dad how to do his laundry and how to make something on the stove.. he had been waited on by his mom (my wonderful grandmother) and my wonderful mom. Giving them something to do helps them get through the day...My dad, so far, has lived a healthy life but just a product of his generation and raising. My mom's goal is to change that after all these years!!! She has done an amazing job..I thought I would fall over when I saw my dad fold his own clothes!!! You go Mom!! way to go!