"I don't want to lose all this"

I'm almost done with "A Night to Remember" again, and my title/subject line is what Don says to Betty after she's showered from her bender and scouring the house for clues and she comes down to him while he's sleeping on the couch. It's his only admission, while subconscious, the way Paul does to Joan after backing out of looking at Bert's painting with the rest of the boys: "I had nothing to do with it" ad Joan says "Thank you" because now she knows it happened. Don still tries to get Betty to pretend (I know what it is like to have people try to convince me that I wasn't really there for something I saw with my own eyes) and she walks away. I'm not one to easily get weepy, but I really related to Betty as she went though the suits, as she looked for clues. Watching this whole section made my respect for MW (and the writers) grow, because few men understand the despair women feel when they've been jilted by the man around whom their world revolves. So much of the story line really shows the kinds of situations women often end up in, just because men think of their needs and desires last. Go back to Maidenform, and the statement that bras are for men... we've come a long way, baby, but it takes the guts that Betty, Peggy, Joan and others if we're to break out of the roles set up for us. I've spent a life time bucking those presets, which has meant reaping rewards and sometimes paying high prices.

In that episode, Betty is still trying to recover from what Jimmy told her, trying to cope and get by and put it in the past. Then the Heineken ploy comes along and it breaks the camel's back. To stand by her belief that Jimmy was right took a lot of guts. It meant letting her dreams (illusion) of the perfect life go. It was everything, and she stood by it.

And she was right.

I'm reliving a lot of pains and glories watching this amazing program. Gals, take a look at your lives and channel these powerhouses where you can. Like us, none of them are perfect, but they're not letting their gender entirely define them.

I can proudly say I've learned to find my own voice in a gender based society, and MM perhaps is a reminder that we can invent ourselves and make our own opportunities, without gender, hair color, age or finances to define us.

Seize it.

I am.