I've always felt one of the underlying themes in the structure is that of dichotomy of character. They're one thing on the outside, yet often something much different inside, and usually self-centered in their actions. Don does get away with a lot because it's part of what makes Don, Don. He's always out to win in whatever he does. Somewhere in there is a heart or feelings, yet he always acts self-centered. He's a strong and put-together alpha male yet in the blink of an eye can suddenly turn irrational; running off while in Cali, wanting to run off with Rachel at the end of the first season (notice the similarity of course, and the dichomy of the strong man running away). All these characters are like that, self-centered and quick to go irrational. They all have something a little shady or at least secretive inside while mostly beautiful on the outside. But, they all have the same type of motivations, that of their own self. And Don is the king of this particular jungle. He does always get away with a lot, because he's good at it. He has to be good at it. That's why he almost always wins.

I posted up a while back that Don and Anna's relationship and even the whole show reminds me of the old noir movies, not directly but in principle; very shady goings-on from people in a different world from us and much different motivations from what you normally would expect. Everyone is out for something here. They're all in their own way self-interested, partly self-destructive, yet opportunists.

He does get away with too much, but that's what makes him Don. He always makes sure he's the one who wins.

Don Draper and the governor of South Carolina ought to get together.

.....I loved the look on Draper's face when Duck got all up in his grille and confronted him with something like, "You know, there are other ways to look at things than the way you see them....."

It was exactly the face Don Draper would make.

Gotta hand it to Jon Hamm with those - he just nails it every single time.

He's the classic 1960s Rogue Male.

Uh - is that any different from the classic 2000's Rogue Male? He gets away with it because he looks so good. I know a lotta guys like Don.

Don has this beautiful blond wife, yet he screws around with all these unattractive burnetts.... what is his problem with Betty?

Don has the awesome looking blond wife... yet he continues to fool around with less attractive women...Not one of them can hold a candle to Betty... what is his problem?

To continue with the dichotomy statement by Greg, I'd also like to point out a recurring theme in both runaway attempts as well as other episodes. Children, fatherhood, family. Don has known from the beginning of time that he was not a part of anyone's first family. That kind of ostracizing has done great damage but notice when he runs away with Joy and tries to run away with Rachel, the kids seem to drag him back. He sees the kids in California and he goes home, Rachel asks about his kids and it stops him cold. Betty suggests spanking the kids and we see this vulnerability flash. He spends his whole adult life recreating his origins and while he can walk away from success and money, he can philander and lie; he can't cross that line and be a "bad dad".

Don's critical of everyone in his life but never says a word against his daughter (who Betty has more than once called fat). His son is regular, rowdy boy and Don just finds joy in him. He misses the birthday and brings back a dog. He knows how to make the kids happy even if he can't make anyone else in his life happy. Don may get away with a lot but in all fairness, these are adults letting him get away with it. Betty, Anna, even Bert Cooper, they can make their own decisions. Bobby and Sally are just kids and they don't care how much he makes or what car he drives and they will always win out over anything else.

Don's brunettes may be less attractive than Betts yet they tend to be more interesting and...yes...intelligent than his wife.

He has a soft spot for clever, intelligent, independent women-consider Peggy. Is this the key to his behaviour?? Good post janeeyre.

Betty is a trophy wife, a badge of his success, like the house, car and the two kids. Once this object is in place, it collects dust. If it malfunctions, he calls a repairman, like the washing machine or stereo. Don does not get involved with the "why" of the malfunction, that's not his job. He just wants it fixed so it can go on serving him. Don also has the Madonna/whore dichotomy, so for Betty to be an actual woman with physical and emotional needs is hard for him to see. Remember what happened when she wore the black garter belt outfit? His unit collapsed.

If this sounds harsh, it is probably the norm, and certainly does continue to some extent even today. I don't think Don is a raging sociopath, just a normal guy of the time. (With a few extra problems, like he had no positive role models for a husband or a father.)

I also think he cheats to reassure himself of his worth, his sales ability and unconsciously he knows he's the son of a whore and he is re-creating that out of a well-hidden core of insecurity. Perhaps he was told often that he was "no good" because of his mother's profession.

Our 50 minutes are up, I'll send my bill. See you next week, unless your spouse calls first for the secret report.

Doctor Freud

These are all great posts, great topic, too, janeeyre...I agree that Don does look on Betty as a trophy wife...one more outward symbol of his success. I've posted several times in the past that I think he feels inferior to Betty and he chooses the less attractive, NON-blondes to cheat with because he feels they are more on his level (except for Rachel...she fell within the "intelliegent and independent" category)

I also agree that his kids are of the utmost importance to him...I think when he panicked and ran to Rachel to ask her to run off with him, he momentarily (because of the panic) "forgot" about how much he does love them. I feel he wants to make sure they KNOW he loves them, because of how he was emotionally neglected in his own childhood. The scenes where he hugs them are heartfelt and he loves them to the bottom of his heart. You can tell Sally has him wrapped around her little finger (re: the shaving scene when she is watching "Daddy" shave...and the bringing home Polly scene) Also, Bobby's scene with him ("We have to get you a new Daddy..") where he hugs him rather than spanking him like Betty wanted him to.

.....Up until recently, Betty has been a two-dimensional figure in his mind. She's probably a two-dimensional figure in her own mind, through no fault of either of them.

As I've mentioned in the past, ad nauseum, it was a dramatically liberating moment (at least to me) when Betty shattered the "fun-house mirror" they'd both been gazing into, and confronted Don about his betrayals, and the chasm between them, in A Night to Remember.

It was a huge relief because, by stepping up for herself and giving herself a voice, I knew that she at least had a chance at being a whole person. (What she does with that is another thing, and we've seen a little of it at the end of S3.)

I was thinking about Dick Whitman the other day, and the way he was raised. As a kid, his feelings - about anything - were irrelevant.

No one cared about his feelings, or even acknowledged that he had a right to have any, so how could Don Draper know empathy for other people?

It's not that he doesn't have any, it's just that he is just disconnected from it, which is why you can't really define him as a true sociopath.

I think it's the people he identifies with, the underdogs as someone said, that tend to pierce that particular veil.

I'm glad people here have emphasized the seething resentment aspect of the Don Draper character, because it's been largely sublimated (or at least very subtle) and am interested to see what they end up doing with that.

Here's a question, and I bet a lot would have a lot to say, but basically, Dick Whitman never really had a mother on which to depend, and I wonder if they will do anything with that.

Certainly, the most maternal of his lovers, Rachel, was the one many people feel he favored the most.

Certainly she was the first person he ran to in "panic mode," after Pete "outed" him.

Just curious about the whole Madonna/whore, mother thing, for all you Freudians out there.

.....Ooops, I meant "S2." Just feels like three.

Rachel is also the only person Don has ever told about his childhood: being the whore child, dead mother, rotten stepparents, etc. And the pose they were in, i.e. lying on the sofa while she stroked his head, struck a very mother/child image, too.

I think he likes brunettes because maybe he thinks they are smarter. Even the most beautiful flower gets old after awhile .... so you have to keep something interesting... I think I just thought of a new post.

This is an interesting topic! I just have to stand up for Betty: I don't think she is quite a trophy wife. Many trophy wives deliberately seek that role and their marriage to the kind of men men who want trophy wives are mutually exploitative. But Betty really loves Don, and she wants to be taken somewhat seriously in the small world of being a housewife. Sure, she is beautiful, and vain, and un-intellectual, but she's not a dummy.

So I think it's more that she fits the domestic, "don't worry your pretty little head" stereotype of a wife from that era. I believe, if it hadn't been for social mores and for her very odd, childlike immaturity, she would be quite a different person. (I think her emotional immaturity somewhat explains her strange connection with that young boy...can't think of his name!)

Next point: Don does get away with a lot, but in real life, so do a lot of attractive, intelligent, strong and silent types. Plus, it's not like he's deliberately exploiting people. He just is who he is, the world is as it is, and as a result of those two things he gets what he gets. He goes through life feeling like it is happening to him rather than him making choices. So because there is no evil motive to his actions, I think the people around him admire rather than condemn him.

"Trophy wife" doesn't quite fit. Remember how excited he was, how in love, when he first described Betty to Anna? He was proud of her being beautiful and couldn't quite believe his good fortune in her loving him.

With time and changing circumstances they've lost that glow. Part of that is natural - you've can't go around on a perpetual being-in-love high - and part is societal: his work and the world take him away for long, distracting hours and, once pregnant, she's stuck largely at home, her world telescoped down to the house, school, supermarket and maybe the hairdresser once a week.

If he looks for someone different or more exciting it's no surprise, way too many men (and some women) do the same. The boredom of same-old sets in. Don's torn because he doesn't realy know what a "real" normal family feels like; he's recreating from what he's seen with others, or the movies, or books, to try and approximate what's right but he's never had the experience himself - but he's determined HIS children will not feel lost or unwanted like he did. This is what puts a panic into him when Betty throws him out, not so much losing her but losing access to their kids, whom he loves as much as Dick Whitman can love anyone.

Very well put. I never quite realized that's why Don was so upset when Betty won't let him come home, but that makes sense.

It's so true that looking for someone or something new should not come as a big surprise, both in the 1960's and today. The topic of humdrum existence and boredom is one of my favorite things about the show. It's so honest, and it's refreshing in the midst of all these other signals telling us that we're never allowed to feel oppressed by work, success, marriage, family....

Sorry to sound so incredibly dark and depressing!

.....not not and AA.....It seems like everyone is basically saying the same things here....

And that is that both Don and Betty kind of both had an idealized view of what they should want from life......

"Barbie and Ken in the suburbs....."

In the beginning, I think they both thought they'd grabbed THE brass ring and, although they are doing most (not all) everything "right," they've discovered that the reality isn't so nice or satisfying as they have been impelled to expect.

Isn't it a common theme for first-marrieds to bring all that buried and unresolved childhood baggage into the relationship?

I've heard that is one reason why second marriages are often more successful......

I wonder if maybe if Don had confided in Betty more and made her feel like more of his "partner" in the marriage instead of just "the little woman" at home, they might have had better luck together.

He never EVER really talks WITH her, just TO her...and he acted put out when she asked him to sit down with her (after Francine had confided to her about Carlton's affair) even though he sat there uncomfortably and listened to her (the whole time you could tell he was hoping it wasn't him in trouble!) he showed visible relief when he realized she was upset about Francine and Carlton's problems -- and not their own. BTW, that dagger-stare she gave Don during that scene was priceless...you could see him trying not to squirm!

Now that's interesting Dry, "Second marriages are often more successful". I never looked at it that way, good point. Don & Betty with a new baby coming sure have their work cut out for them. Betty will be busy with the new baby and Don with the transition at SC. He will have plenty good room to start all over with his new adventures. Come On, August 16th! I can't imagine what is going to happen next. Don will get away with much more in Season 3, I'm sure.

Don does not fit the definition of a sociopath. I think i f he sat down with a shrink today (which is not going to happen for Don) the shrink would describe him as having "borderline personality disorder." This diagnosis is controversial, but it has been around since 1938.

.....It's the difference between an equal partnership, and a serfdom. There was no respect.

Don wasn't Betty's friend, plain and simple. There was only one "side" - his - and he was on it.

He said, "I was not respectful of you," and while that is great, that's just the first transgression on the list.

I mean, no one talks about this really, and SCfan, this is not encouragement for you to be bad, but as a wife whose husband is a major slut, I'd be worried about the STDs.

Bobbie Barrett ALONE is probably a major mine field.

As to the missing time, of course they are going to bury all that, so we don't know how they get through it and come out on the other side. At least that's my prediction.

Maybe they'll surprise us, but it seems like they like to loop back to that missing time more than once in the progression of the season.

Can you tell I'm getting anxious for August 16? That's going to be fun.

Don is not a sociopath. He does show concern for people. Remember how he went to the trouble of going to Peggy's hospital and "saving" her? He defended Freddy when "the boys" were making fun of him at the blood drive. He took care of Roger when he had his MI - went to the hospital, coached him, "Your wife's name is ..." He put Pete in his place when he was bad mouthing Peggy on her first day in the office. (Okay, that could have been because he hated Pete.)

One thing that I still don't get about Don'a character is he would go out of his way to have nooners with the artist lady, but yet when his gorgeous wife told him how much she looked forward to their "time together," he isn't interested.

Dry, I think you're completely on target about working out issues in the first marriage. I think many people believe that the act of getting married solves their issues, then they are surprised when there are problems and difficulties that actually have to be worked on and resolved. And, there is nothing like having kids to bring up all your childhood issues.

Huh????

.....I just saw so much of the young women in their 20s, who were just DYING to get married and have a slew of kids right out of high school, like this fabulous great pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.....

Dying to get married, way too young, for all the wrong reasons.

Good call on the kids bringing out the issues.....

Hold on, Mambo.....don't do it.....

.....(Somebody get the bucket.....)

Good point about the STDs. God knows what he has given Betty after all the sleeping around he's done. He doesn't seem to take responsibility for protection. Does he just assume every woman he sleeps with uses birth control? Also I bet Don has payed for more than one abortion in his time. Betty can't possibly be the only woman he's ever got pregnant. It would be way too soapy for any illegitimate kids to suddenly pop up, so I hope that doesn't happen, though.

Oh, I get it now, Dry (after re-reading)...you meant Donny Boy.... not my hubby!

I thought when I first read that up there, you knew something I didn't....the wife is always the last to know, they say!

ha....uh....I think.....DUH

Didn't the folks back then only have to worry about crabs, the clap and the syph?

And weren't they all curable with shots of penicillin? I know gonorrhea and syphilis were, anyhow...lice, I guess had the same cure....?

I guess they were lucky in a way to be able to go get shots and be done with it....no brain rot and all that folks dealt with before antibiotics changed all that "social disease" fear in a major way. Until AIDS and the new STD's all came about, anyway.

Too late, Dry! Urp . . . plop. Watch out, Michael Douglas! And Robin Williams, and Kevin Costner, and Lance Armstrong, and Bing Crosby, and Jack Nicholson, and Clint Eastwood, and ad nauseum. Anymore, folks? I'm still feeling a little sick.

Here Mambo...try this 7Up....damn....couldn't yu have clamped your hand over your mouth until I stepped back.......eeeeeeewwwwww

Dry, where's the mop?

Mambo pulled a Roger on us!

oh...Larry King also has a second family...don't know what kind of dad he was to his first...don't even really know if he had a family before this one...just a lot of ex-wives....

I think Larry King is like Liz Taylor. He had a lot of wives but probably didn't sleep around a lot. He said that on a show I watched. Did they worry about STD's back then to the degree we have to now? I remember finding an Army book in our basement as a kid that had a chapter on the guys to be "careful" with the "fun" girls. Remember the "fun girls" from the Andy Griffith show? That Barney knew. That one that had the deep whiskey voice craced me up.

I think there could be a before and after AIDS situation at play here. Was AIDS along with other shifts and factors a route from Modernism to Postmodernism? Our hero certainly falls into the earlier category, thats why I reffered to him as a '1960s Rogue-Male'. However, DD does not quite fit the bill. He has concerns for his family, colleagues and friends and he exhibits a sort of creative capitalism along with some liberal views that hint at a creature of the present time-a kind of mixed-up male with many, many influences. Is this why so many of us find his character so compelling; because we have lived through both periods and know this person so well? Its worth saying again...GREAT POSTS MADDICTS!

Yes he does, but it all catches up with Don sooner or later.

Don gets away with too much the way lots of charming people get away with too much. Haven't you ever worked with someone who does nothing, yet somehow people cover for him? Yet in this case, while Don really does very little at work, what he does pull off is generally brilliant. He's prodigious and beautiful and charming. Also, this thread has mentioned his acts of kindness. I think people around him sense a decentness about him which allows them to overlook some of his transgressions. Deep inside, we all know Don is no Pete.

.....Roger is the one who doesn't work.

Just walks around bumming smokes all day, and taking long, martini-and-oyster-laden lunches.

......Roger is too clever to work. He just makes sure everybody else does. What a life!

Roger is like the top dog who delegates everything. Maybe he does work and we don't see it. Maybe he's doing reports, analyzing data or keeping corporate up to date ..... then maybe not.

Chelsea, I thought he would have something to do too. If my memory is correct all I ever saw Roger doing was drinking, reading the paper, walking around the office, "bumming cigarettes" as Dry said. Oh, let's not forget his sharp comments and the "Silver Fox" prowl!

I rather like Roger....

Hidey, EP...yes, that's the trouble with Roger and Don both...they're both so darn charming/likeable that they consistently get away with the impossible!

Damn those gorgeous infuriating scamps!

I rather like him too, Sir Paul! He still doesn't do a bloody thing.

I agree that we don't see Roger do much, but he wouldn't have so many stories and anecdotes about his sales antics and successes "back in the day" if he didn't once work very hard, and he still is very focused on the success of SC. I think with experience and time have come perks, such as ease of management and guiding, without the heavy labor. He seems to have been there done that already.

I just realized I can relate to Don in that I've been known at time (ahem) to put things off until the last minute and then throw something together that is really good (particularly involving writing and idea mongering). A lot of the time spent where I look like I'm doing nothing or I'm yelling at myself inside for doing nothing, I'm actually going through a thinking process and ideas are gelling and changing, so by the time I sit down to write, it's fairly well developed. As many times as I've done that, it's still a surprising feeling because it's not how we're taught to do things. We're supposed to write a thesis statement, an outline and then paragraphs in the order our outline dictated. We're not supposed to mull and explode, then make little adjustments and tidy up the props, which is what works for me.

I must have something in common with MW, then, too, because I can see this in some of the characters and even in some of the script writing. From the behind the scenes stuff I've read, a season isn't written out in stone when it starts. It's fluid. Think about how the guy who plays Father Ted was already well into the series when they asked him if he could play guitar (according to the interview). This means the season started without the ending being entirely known. How cool is that? And what if he couldn't? I've thought about that a lot after reading that interview... I can play guitar (badly) OR I can sing... somehow doing both at the same time is VERY IMPOSSIBLE for me. What if it was for him? What if he couldn't do it? But he did it and it was a moving scene, he pulled it off so well, with a roughness that foreshadowed that "times are a-changin" and not just for the preacher man.

MM is a work in progress, which is the story of my life... the 5 year, 2-year, 6-months plans sometimes take dramatic turns! I predict that in S3 we will see lots of people getting away with things, but lots of people getting caught in their own and other webs!