I definitely get the impression that Don's personality has *everything* to do with his hardscrabble upbringing.

His childhood feeling of being unwanted. Of being poor. Of being "country".

When his pal got blown up in WWII, Don saw his chance to close the door on his former identity forever. And largely, his personal transformation was successful... only two people, it seems, know of his real birth identity.

The point I'm making is, I think Don learned early that other people are largely going to take you at face value. Today, Dr. Phil says, "You teach others exactly how to treat you." Don intuitively knew this.

This bred in him an extraordinary kind of confidence... even a devilish kind of self-confidence. That ability to sell refrigerators to Eskimos.

I wonder if it *can* be learned.

Also, walking around with that handsome face of his cannot have hurt his chances in life, either. Let's get real.

ras

Just live in a fictional world!

Self confidence is the first requirement.
Integrity is second.
Combined they become power.

Charisma can be embodied with endless pages of descriptions and useless self help 100 step programs because it is a subconscious impression you make others. Since it is subconscious, instinctual and subterranean in our psyche is why it can require hundreds of pages to describe.

When people are describing charisma, they aren't really describing the core element, they aren't describing it as an action....they're describing the resulting feelings of being in the presence of charisma. When you listen to people describing an earthquake, they talk about the results, the effects it had on their lives ...not the actual tremor.

The answers to your question are wide and varied but understand the common theme or word from those who understand real charisma is attitude.

When you're self confident, you project an sense of assurance that is instinctually attractive beyond a

sexual way but in an intriguing way.

And while you're drawing people towards you, take a genuine interest in them instead of wasting your time promoting yourself. Excessive self promotion is arrogance, but learning about others is how the best conversations occur. While others are describing themselves, most will stop long enough to ask your opinion.
If you're horrible remembering names and details then you'll have to develop the capability to remember things but not necessarily facts.

Remembering aspects of others isn't the same as memorizing sports statistics , people are more than numbers and you aren't going to recite statistics to someone as it it was their dossier. As people describe themselves, you'll associate the nuances of the setting into the things their sharing about you. so as you get to know people you learn the nuances of them while encasing the event in the nuance of the moment you're learning about it.

In addition, while you listen to others describe themselves you should identify their experiences with your own, even if you have the worst memory in the world it is almost impossible to forget someone else who 20 years earlier may have hiked the same trails you do just , or if they grew up three different states before reaching five years of age like you. BUT don't interrupt them to blurt out the things you have common as if you're a Wiki, it is rude and you'll lower their impression of you

This isn't a technique, techniques are more of set of rehearsed actions such as surgery or transmission repair, what I've described is a trait in the sense you will make these habits, and when they are habits they will become endemic to your nature and then they are traits.

It is necessary when considering you'll be invited to more social gatherings where alcohol is served and if you're working extra hard to fake this....you'll fall apart after a few drinks in the evening.

There are powerful traits practiced by executives in every profession.

Practice integrity in all of your interactions, you achieve integrity by honoring commitments and maintaining the confidence of others. Treat all conversations as confidential and refrain from gossiping, gossip is a shortcut to attracting others but it is poison attraction since the reasons people come near you are tasteless and paradoxically...they won't trust you to confide in you.

If for example you're in a meeting with ten colleagues, and some of them like to break up afterwards for a cigarette and gossip about share impressions of who is less than perfect...avoid behaving this way, in fact avoid being seen with them since guilt by association is a lasting impression. Gossip is cowardice rantings of the shallow and just being with gossipers makes everyone assume you're part of the gossip ring.

In essence, gossipers are pawns exploited by others seeking to achieve their self serving interests. Being the office gossip is the same thing as being the office tramp, people learn about your reputation before they even meet you and your image will remain in a deficit.

When you commit to anything, whether trivially delivering a minor task or the most important project in your career, always deliver by the deadline and at least meet all of the expectations. When you successfully meet commitments you'll notice you'll be given additional and more significant projects. Additional responsibility lends tremendously to your charisma since you're becoming pivotal to the organization and people have to come to you to fulfill their own self interests.

Careful to avoid behaving like a bureaucrat, since people are becoming more reliant on you, coming to you for answers -avoid the mistake of rejecting or appearing unwilling. When people come to you for help and you shun or appear teasing it will destroy your charisma faster than anything since you will seem taunting.

Power is when people are reliant on you and they're confident they can count on you and confide in you.

Those are the two conspicuous characteristics of Doctors and Attorneys.

It isn't a coincidence that Doctors, Attorneys (and formerly priests) are still considered hero's by society in general despite the tarnished patina's both professionals have suffered in the last 20 years.....many parents today still hope their kids grow up to become Doctors or Lawyers.
You confide in both with the most private matters, they're professionally bound to maintain your confidence but in todays informed and sarcastic society, you know better than to trust someone regardless of the canon of ethics if you don't have the impression, that subconscious sense of trust.

And that subconscious presence, that is charisma.

Very interesting comments. I have a few questions though. Does Don Draper/Dick Whitman have self confidence and integrity? Put another way, does Don Draper have the self confidence and integrity Dick Whitman lacked, or did Dick Whitman loose all integrity when he gained Don Draper's self confidence?

Charisma....yes, DD is loaded with it!

But, integrity....(defined as honesty and adherence to moral principals) afraid not....although, DD does give the IMPRESSION of integrity....and that's all that's needed in his job.

Smoke two packs of cigarettes in 24 hours, drink a quart every day, show up to work when you feel like it and the business world will break down your door.

Was this a serious question? I mean, the guy is make-believe.

I can only think this is like one of those 1952 movies where the 21 year old supporting character (Jack Lemmon type) is reading "How to be an Executive".

...yes, Gavin....we should all have the writer(s) DD has!

...your last sentence made me recall young Robert Morse (Bert Cooper) reading that book he bought on the news stand (right after removing his window washer coveralls!) ..."How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying".....which DD either wrote or memorized! ha!

....."Oh, I belieeeeve in you....I belieeeeeve iiiin yoouuuu!"

eaglespear, thank you for that doctoral dissertation. I needed something to fill out mine. Love the internet!

....pretty cool clip from YouTube of Robert Morse a few years back (80's??) on a Tony awards show...sorry if this off topic....but, it's worth a look...talented, adorable fella....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMeub2NK_Fs&feature=related

Very good and interest Eaglespear! I could add to Mr. "workplay" some tips. Since I work for a fairly large company with many executives above me. The ones that we like and remember are of course the ones who are sincere, greet you with a hello and are genuinely interested in you. Of course a sense of humor doesn't hurt. I remember one general manager who walked past my desk every day and just said "hi, how ya doing" I could have said I'm terrible, sick, etc. and he would have replied "great"...

Spoken like a true "MAD MAN" eaglespear!

.....Run out and grab "Don Draper's Guide to Picking Up Women."

...still think that's one of the funniest SNL skits EVER...of course, I'd be biased....

sigh

I've been thinking more about Don Draper...

I know he is considered some majorly irresistible eye candy to many a female viewer.

Yet, if I were to meet a man like him in real life, I think I'd be distrustful of him.

Indeed, Don has all the trappings of a real-life sociopath, if you think about it... Continually lying to all and sundry, willing to say absolutely anything in an ad campaign, flakeing out on his best friend in Cali, abandoning his brother, cheating on his wife with any number of females...

I mean, let's get real: he shares more in common with a Ted Bundy than he does a Cary Grant.

Yep, ras, there was a topic that got quite a few posts a long time ago on here regarding what kind of mental illness we all thought Don had!

He is a definite mess in that direction, but his slickness and charm overshadow all that....lucky sob....I believe I recall one Maddict calling him a "gorgeous mess" ..... which says it all....

....here's that topic forum, ras...from quite a while back there...and what they said was Don was "a hot mess" (not a "gorgeous" one, as I said up there, although he is that, too!)...

http://blogs.amctv.com/mad-men/talk/2008/09/diagnosing-don.php

Yet, SCfan, of course his "quirks" are part of what make this show fascinating.

As my college theater teachers used to tell us, there never was a successful play written entitled THE VILLAGE OF THE HAPPY NORMAL PEOPLE.

(-:

.....SCfan.....You did some work, and good job!

ras.....you talk a good game, is all I can say right now.....