Jane Fonda visits the Johnny Carson Show with her cat.
Jane sits with her cat on her lap.
Right away she......B-L-U-R-T-S......OUT!
Do you want to pet my pussy?
Johnny Carson says, " I would if you took your damn cat out of the way!!!!!!!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm off to enjoy New Year's Eve, so here is to all my MM buds out there. ;o) Have a great New Year's Eve and enjoy the party. Don't forget to pour yourself into a taxi when it's time to call it a night...I found this on the internet.

YOU'VE ENJOYED NEW YEAR'S EVE A LITTLE TOO MUCH IF...

- You notice your tie sticking out of your fly.
- Someone uses your tongue for a coaster.
- You start kissing the portraits on the wall.
- You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier.
- You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.
- You strike a match and light your nose.
- You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.
- You hear someone say, "Call a priest!"
- You hear a duck quacking and it's you.
- You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet.
- You refill your glass from the fish bowl.
- You tell everyone you have to go home and the party's at your place.
- You yawn at the biggest bore in the room and realize you're in front of the hall mirror.
- You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.
- You suggest everyone stand and sing the national budget.
- You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.
- You realize you're the only one under the coffee table.

A hearty "CHEERS!!" ;o)

Zsa Zsa Gabor, not Barbra Streisand. There is something quite funny when "would you like to pet my pussy?" is said with a Hungarian accent. Kinda like Duchess of the Aristocats gone wild. You shoulda seen Ed McMahon's face.

No "You know your a redneck after New Years . . ." list?

.....D&S....."You hear a duck quacking and it's you."

These are hilarious, and very "Drink&Smoke," too!

Happy 2009 to everyone!

Drink & Smoke: Thanks for the meatball. I couldn't help but swing for the fences.

YOU'VE ENJOYED NEW YEAR'S EVE A LITTLE TOO MUCH IF...

- You notice your tie sticking out of your fly: Fred Rumson
- Someone uses your tongue for a coaster: Joy (how do you think she earned her name?)
- You start kissing the portraits on the wall: Vicompt "the Count" Willy "I make beautiful babies."
- You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier: Bobbie Barrett; inspired by the Aston Martin in "Goldfinger", Bobbie develops spring-loaded underwear for quick removal called "Phantom Panties"; while wearing a prototype at a dinner for "Grin & Barrett", she has a wardrobe malfunction.
- You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off: Betsy after her second bottle of wine; Carla, upon seeing the drunken Mrs. Draper, informs her that she does the floors on Wednesdays, not Mondays.
- You strike a match and light your nose: Roger Sterling
- You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad: Bertram Cooper
- You hear someone say, "Call a priest!": Anita Olson Respola; upon seeing her husband, Gerry, lie motionless for 10 minutes, she is sure he has passsed; he responds, "it's my back, you idiot".
- You hear a duck quacking and it's you: Crab
- You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet: Ah, common, this one is too easy; Kurt makes this proclamation and whips out . . . his scissors and says "I fix it".
- You refill your glass from the fish bowl: Ken Cosgrove who says "Hemingway was a p*ssy!"
- You tell everyone you have to go home and the party's at your place: Paul Kinsey
- You yawn at the biggest bore in the room and realize you're in front of the hall mirror: Paul Kinsey again
- You pick up a roll, and butter your watch: Mrs. Edith Schilling while at a dinner launching the national campaign for Utz chips; Jimmy Barrett bites down so hard on his lower lip that he draws blood.
- You suggest everyone stand and sing the national budget: Pete Campbell proclaims John Phillips Souza wrote the National Budget; Trudy, rolling her eyes, says under her breath, "Francis Scott Key wrote the National Anthem" and can we have a baby now?
- You tell your best joke to the rubber plant: Jimmy Barrett, having lost his TV show after his inability to keep his mouth shut at the Utz Campaign dinner, is relegated to the Borscht circuit and has to try out new material.
- You realize you're the only one under the coffee table: Peggy Olson; much to her dismay, she is only wearing the Relax-i-cisor; she thinks, "gee, I could really use Bobbie's Phantom Panties about now."

Just like back in October....YOU ALL ARE HILARIOUS.

Wish I could think of a new one myself. Sad to say, I used the only one I could think of in the first posting of this topic. And it wasn't all that funny then!

HAPPY 2009 TO ALL MY DEAR BUDS.......

THE MADDICTS!!!

So you think Nora's & Drink&Smoke's post are as funny/original as Polar Bear's?

I challenge any of the Maddicts out there to post some original humorous material and tie it to Mad Men. We all enjoy a good laugh so help a brother out and get creative. Any one can cut & paste - put your own twist to it.

To help get things started, you need to think funny to be funny, so name the movie:

No more cockamamie cigar smoke, no more Swedish meatballs, no more jerky beef, no more merry new year.

Polar Bear, you are putting me to the test! First of all I'll answer your question, because it happens to be one of my favorite movies - Trading Places. Dan Ackroyd eating the salmon out of his dirty Santa beard is priceless. Now on to your challenge...

Okay, we know the most famous of all ball drops, the Times Square Ball -11,875 pounds (5,386 kg) Waterford Crystal ball. It has previously taken the form of a metal ball and, during the 1980s, an illuminated apple. The ball as of 2009 becomes a permament fixture year round atop One Times Square.

Other things are dropped in other states to ring in the New Year. Here is a list of a few and how they relate to Mad Men. I think this is the longest post I've ever made...but you can all blame Polar Bear as you endlessly scroll down!

Items Dropped on New Year's Eve around the U.S.

New York City (rotating locations, Greenwich Village in 2009) - a lighted ukulele: Freddy Rumsen, he gave up playing songs on his zipper.

Tallapoosa, Georgia - an opossum: Resembles Pete Campbell both physically and mentally

McDonough, Georgia - Nugget Drop: Don did in his pants when he found out about Roger and Jane.

Ty Ty, Georgia - a Peanut: What Peggy is referred to at SC

Eastport, Maine - a sardine: Roger prefers oysters with his Martinis, but this is a good substitute (the carpets will never be the same!)

Easton, Maryland - a Crab: Goes good with Duck

Havre de Grace, Maryland - a wooden duck: Duck usually needs a stiff drink before he gets to this stage.

Ocean City, Maryland - a beach ball: Joy, but she usually prefers two instead of one

Buffalo, New York - At one time, a Ford Edge automobile. Don gave them his new Coupe deVille to drop. He couldn't get the vomit smell out of it.

Black Creek, North Carolina - a large red heart: Roger, he is going to need a new one after his heart gives out trying to keep up with Jane.

Mount Olive, North Carolina - a pickle: Trudy Campbell, once she finds out about Pete's kid.

Port Clinton, Ohio - a walleye fish named Captain Wylie Walleye: Don, however his women prefer his one-eyed trouser trout.

Blain, Pennsylvania - a cow made of wood, dropped from a silo: Roger's plan for Mona after the divorce

Cleona, Pennsylvania - a pretzel: Greg (Joan's fiance), he's really twisted.

Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania - a chunk of coal that turns into a diamond at the bottom: Joan, her diamond is turning into a chunk of coal.

Bartlesville, Oklahoma - an olive: Lots of olives for Martinis at the SC New Year's Eve party.

Falmouth, Pennsylvania - a stuffed goat: Duck, he needs to replace Chauncey.

Liverpool, Pennsylvania - a canal boat: Mona, she will use it to put Roger in and send him up the river after the divorce.

Frogtown, Pennsylvania - a frog: Harry, he is always jumping to conclusions.

Duncannon, Pennsylvania - a sled: Paul, he is always trying to snow someone.

Gratz, Pennsylvania - a wildcat: Ken, will we ever see this side of him?

Halifax,Pennsylvania - a Hemlock tree: Bert Cooper, he is deeply rooted and doesn't bend easily.

Hummelstown, Pennsylvania - a lollipop: Jane, need we say more?

Lewistown, Pennsylvania - a bag of Hartley's potato chips: Jimmy Barrett, but Jimmy will need to send out Bobbi get the account as well as negotiate the conflict of interest caused with the Utz Potato Chip account.

Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania - a wrench: Betty Draper, she's really tired of using the butter knife on the desk drawer lock.

New Oxford, Pennsylvania - an antique trunk: Bobbi Barrett, what Don Draper now refers to her as.

Newville, Pennsylvania - a big spring: Harry, his decision to be head of TV will pay off next season!

Richland, Pennsylvania - a cigar: Paul, he will finally realize how stupid he looks with this and the ascot.

Seven Valleys, Pennsylvania - a broasted chicken: Duck, he is quite the chicken who got burned by Don.

Shippensburg, Pennsylvania - an anchor: Sal, he really wants to break free.

Steelton, Pennsylvania - a steamroller: Don, with his cool half million and no non-compete contract. Watch out Duck, here he comes!

Fredericksburg, Virginia - an illuminated pear: Betty and Don, when they get all dressed up

Plymouth, Wisconsin - a big cheese: Alice Cooper, we really don't know the magnitude of this woman and her role at SC.

Tempe, Arizona - an illuminated sunburst: Season 3 of Mad Men

Yes, I do have a life. Hoever, I can't resist a good challenge. Feel free to cut, paste and modify to your hearts content!! Cheers! ;o)

Bobbie arrives at Don's office in her designer winter white double knit coat and shift dress (a look very popular in the early sixties). Without barely an utter she glides into Don's office, and clicks on that newly installed lock on the door. Joan hears the lock and quickly glances at the door then at her typewriter. Like a good secretary, Joan clicks her own ears, mouth and eyes shut and continues her daily tasks. In her green shift dress and beautifully coiffed red hair and vibrant make up, Joan is a dutiful picture of innocent loveliness.
Meanwhile, the big cat has arrived! She flops on Don's white couch and begins toying with her prey. As if knowingly, a big black cat lurches outside the narrow ledges of the 17th story building. She glides into the open window and flops onto Bobbie's lap. Bobbie begins making growling sounds, GRRRR-GRRRR. The Cat answers wildly GRRRR-GRRRR and they stare at each other. Then, Bobbie tames the wild in her and the cat and both begin to purrrrrrr....PURRRR-PURRRR. Now facing Don, both with slanted eyes like siamese twins, making their bid to take on Don. Cat on her lap. Bobbie, slyly, "Do you want to pet my pussy?"
Don, standing, with not only his eyes bulging. His massive manly body hovers over Bobbie's and says, "I would if only we could..." and gently removes the purring cat...

Gettin' a little raunchy, huh Maddicts?

But funny.....

C'mon SC, your turn to contribute. Heard any good jokes lately?

Drink & Smoke and Nora stepped up bigtime.