I think people do what they want to do, and rationalize it later and, in Jimmy's world, that way was to think of it not as being an absolute, but a rule with exceptions. Jimmy was saying, basically, do what you want, but not with what belongs to me. And he may have been talking of his ego rather than his wife. There is no right way to cheat, though, once the decision is made and the deed done, then the ego has to be fed something to make it easier to tolerate. Those are generalizations, of course, some people might get off on the hurting element of it all. I think you showed that wasn't what you were thinking when you went to the man instead of the woman friend. If you had wanted to hurt her, you would have gone straight to her, by talking to him, you were trying to save her feelings. To Thine Own Self be True are words to live by, and I seldom live up to them, but the quote is always there waiting for me when I am not honest with myself.

Is it possible that Jimmy's real goal was to entice Betty into having a fling with him?

It's sure he couldn't get Betty's interest in him by his good looks and charm.

When she rebuffed him instead of her turning against Don, he decided to unload on Don.

....wow. please mark this post as recommended so we can keep it toward the top of the list....

i have a feeling this one is going to be big....

Hi greytone! I respect you so much for the strength you had to get through your relationship. I also applaude you for the way you handled your friend's spouse's infidelity!
It took a lot of courage and heart to confront him, and not just tell her what you knew.
Everyone needs a friend like you!

Getting to the Jimmy story, I think he told Betty "I've been behind guys like him all my life."
I wasn't sure if he was referring to Don's looks, success or both. He probably thought everything came easy to Don throughout his life (little does he know). He may be even more angry at Don because Bobbie has been one of the only positive things he has had in his life, and now Jimmy finds out Don has had her.
And yes, there are two sets of rules in our world...
rules for men and rules for women!

The interesting this is that when Jimmy made the remark, Betty was right, the two of them were talking business with the guy from ABC. Nothing your grandmother couldn't watch. Jimmy had planned the confrontation before he invited Betty to the party. Perhaps before he met Don in his office but couldn't make himself do it at that time.

I don't think the catalyst was Don tying up Bobbie. I think it was more, "You got what you wanted, I got what I wanted, Bobbie got what she wanted. So let's all move on now that I have my show."

How much do you want to bet that when we next see him Bobbie has separated from him for the confrontation? As his manager, she'd control and have access to all the money he earned.

....from another thread....

a huge plurality of executives cheat. there seems to be an unwritten code that executive wives leave the office life to the husband....never making surprise visits, never interfering....

most executive wives do this, and i have never understood how they live with it.

the lifestyle and family unit is the trade-off for them?

I don't think the infidelity was Jimmy's problem at all. It was a convenient excuse to nail Don to the wall and puncture the picture perfect life of Don and Betty as they hope it would be (and as the world sees it). Before Jimmy drops the bombshell on Betty he looks toward Don and says: "I've been standing behind guys like that my whole life." That was his real issue. Don, handsome, successful, with the gorgeous wife and perfect life. I got the sense he could care less who was "stepping out" with Bobbie.

BTW: Midge was the one who told not to talk about his wife in front of her because it made her feel cruel, not Rachel.

You're right, zebra, Thanx!

I have said many times that I would never conduct business with someone who I knew cheated on his/her spouse. My feeling is that if the person would betray his/her spouse, I would surely be stabbed in the back and taken to the cleaners.

Harsh? You bet. But that's my rule and it's served me well. No exceptions.

The press used to have a rules about not reporting affairs by important men. JFK, for one. Maybe that feeling tied in with Jimmy's statement. Jimmy's rule was along the lines of 'honor among thieves', but, I think he was probably repeating something he heard someone else say. Maybe someone said it to him when the roles were reversed. I do think that no matter how innocent the words and venue was at the Copa when Betty and Jimmy watched Don and Bobbi in conversation that they gave off a famialarity that comes with having known each other. That was what Betty was seeing.

I think you're right Sizzie... (On your first and latest posts.)

I now know the final result of life choices we make could end up looking very different from anything we envisioned (dreamt).
I decided, long ago, that I wouldn't be involved with men who were not single...(legally separated does not count). I wouldn't even go out on a date with someone who wasn't 100% free to marry. The result was a lot of lonely nights. (I'm glad I've got other things to do!)
I won't sleep with any man who refuses to use a condom. The result is many nights alone (don't feel sorry for me...I have batteries...)
When I was young(er) I created long lists of male qualifications and life goals....now those lists are very short. Few have to do with physicality...all have to do with character.

Requiring a mate be truthful is the most important character trait for me. I have encountered a lot of men who proceed through life lying and questioning the mental stability of those who question their character. Such arrogance!

There were many 'unwritten rules' in the 1950s and 60s. Can anyone remember any of them?

If you masturbate you'll go blind.

I remember these rules....
--If you leave with a girlfriend, you come back with the girlfriend. No leaving without each other!
--Always keep cabfare with you.
--Never be the last to leave the nightclub. (The light is soooo bad!)
--No dating the ex- of any girlfriend

I can't think of any witty unwritten rules that Jimmy would know. Mine were more on the level of manners and/or how to get along with people. Like never burn trash when your neighbor has clothes on the line. And don't eat in front of other people. Never return a dish empty. Your guest gets first serve at dinner. Never take the last cola in the fridge. None of those fit in Madison Avenue or even Betty burbs.

For a cheater, Don sure is uptight about Betty's sensuality. His reaction to Betty's swimsuit was domineering and demeaning. Instead of complimenting and appreciating Betty's beauty, he chastises her and mentions lifeguards and millionaires ogling her.

Her reminded me a bit of Jake LaMotta in Raging Bull, ready to beat the crap out of his wife for perceived unfaithfulness. If it had been me, I'd have taken Betty right up to the bedroom, she looked great. In the hotel room, she looked smashing in the lingerie, he wilted. Perhaps he can only perform when he thinks he's getting away with something.

His car wreck was foolish. That could have been much worse than it was.

Roger seems to have the cheating down. (LOL, We'll over look the heart attack, it could happen to anyone ) Mona may not have a clue or if she knows looks the other way as long as he doesn't embarrass her.

Pete's reckless, almost as reckless as Don. Although he hasn't crashed a car with his hootchie in the car.

I don't know if Jimmy cheats. Ugh. The woman would have to be desperate.

Bobbie's a cheater. You get the idea she's been down that road before and is a pro.

....a_mob_hit ....like joan said to roger in season one, "the sneaking around is the part you like best...."

i think that's true for a lot of men, and probably women too. cheating women doesn't seem to be the main focus at this point, but we'll probably go there. just guessing.

greytone and Sizzie: You are both right on. Our parents must have had the same rule book. "Don't bring any babies home,"was one I will never forget. "Don"t s--t where you eat." is another and there was a lot of that going on in MM. "One man's trash is another man's treasure" just might apply also. Got my thinking cap on

Dry Manhattan, I wonder, who do you think we married men are cheating with? There are just as many unhappy wives as there are unhappy husbands. I have heard husbands talk about their "frigid" wives and I know firsthand, the wives are wildcats.