Yes, I wondered too... Nora where are you? You are missed!

Hi Dry Manhattan! I hope you don't mind...I want to put a shout out to Visan, and Mad Maniac, and wryter1 also. They are missed!

@60s Child: I'm missed? That's the nicest thing I've heard all day! It's the weekend and us youngin's have things/people to do at times! LOL! Thanks for the shout out!

...mind? what the heck? you must be pulling my leg....?

i can name some others that are missing, but what do you know about the missing which you named?

Visan seemed okay last i checked. She's our Don Rickles and we love her. Laurie B. is our Richard Pryor, and we treasure her too.

not sure about Mad Maniac and wryter1 (OLD school!)....

this is why i reject everyone using all these names. all those words out there, but nobody home.

Hi Visan!! Sooo glad you are here! You're right about having things/people to do!
For me, things to do...housework, no thanks!
People to do...I'll stick with my fantasies about the Donner!!! That is if you don't mind sharing him!

Hi Dry Manhattan! Thank you for letting me invade your post! I apologize to Laurie B. and anyone else I have forgotten!
You sound so familiar.....Hmmmm...another mystery, I love it!

....60schild......stop saying that!! this is a public forum for Pete's (Dubya) sake!

no mystery....honest!

(damn. why did i say that?)

Chauncey...is that you???

Dry Manhattan,
Thank you for starting this thread on me and your concern. Like I just posted on the "OK Who are you" thread, my father passed this morning. The silence of him is overwhelming. I'm missing him so much. Our small family is devastated. Thanks again for your kindness and friendship!.
Love,
Nora

Oh, Nora P., you have all my sympathy, sweetie. I lost my mother recently, and know full well the sadness and grief you are experiencing. Focus on the good times, honey, and not on his illness, and you will get through this. Celebrate his life!

Nora, I am so so sorry for the loss of your father!

I know this MM Forum is the last thing you are thinking of now,but, when you can, please let us know how you are doing OK?

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Nora,
I send my sympathy and prayers, as well.

60'schild,
This MM Forum may just keep my mind occupied because the silence is so great now. Thank you for your kind thoughts. We'll talk some more...
zerelda,
Thank you for reminding me to remember the good times. I will make it a point to talk that up with my family. You are so kind.

Thank you, pattypoo, that was a very sweet message.

Nora, I look forward to talking again soon! God Bless!

Nora: My sympathies to you and your family!

Dry Manhattan, now that I know why you posted this thread I feel so bad being light about it.

I didn't realize Nora's father was ill, and that he died until she answered this thread.
I just went back and found Nora's thread where she explains waht was going on.

Please accept my apology!

My prayers are with you Nora. Take it easy.

Visan,hanna,
This is very fulfilling. It's just so quiet in the house!! How do you fight the silence?
60'schild,
I know you didn't know. You're always so sweet and thoughtful!

Nora, I swear I'm on the verge of tears for you. I have enjoyed your comments so much, you are one of the kindest people on this Forum.
You were one of the first Maddicts to welcome me back in mid-August, and your kindness and humor are a few of the reasons I stayed with this posting thing!

The silence can be deafening, I can't take credit for that saying, but, it is so true at a time like this.

I can only tell you that I have had both the blessings and sadness of caring for people who have been very ill, and many have passed on. It goes with my profession. I have also experienced personal loss.
The only comfort I can offer is that there is a better place that we go to. I have seen it on dying people's faces. It has strengthened my spirituality and my faith.
Talk to your Dad, he will hear you, and know that he is at peace. He will answer you in ways that don't make sense now to you, but, he will.

And don't be afraid to reach out and accept the kindness and help of others!

60'schild,
I forgot that you are a professional at this. I will heed your advice. I don't know about how to hear my father. You just can't imagine what a great father he was!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for your knowledgeable advice and concern!!!!!!!!!

Nora, go with what you feel you need. If you need to go down memory lane, look at family pictures and try to remember good times. If you need to reflect, journaling could be helpful - write about him or what you'd like to say to him. If you need to get your mind off of it, watch a cheerful movie, maybe a musical. Grieving is different for different people, and you'll find your own way. It's okay to cry (a lot), and it's okay to move on and feel good living your own life. I think just about everyone has experiened loss at some point and we can understand a little of what you're going through right now. You're with friends here. Sending you happy thoughts!

Hi Nora, please don't misunderstand me, I don't mean to say that your loss is the same as everyone elses.
Everyone grieves in their own way.
I am so happy that you have such wonderful things to say about your Dad! Obviously, he passed on some wonderful qualities to you!

You need to hang onto those great memories even more now as zerelda said earlier in this thread.

There have been times in my life that I would have loved to have actual contact with people I have loved who had passed on but, that hasn't happened for me.
But, there is a presence that I can't explain. I will hear a song, have a dream, or see or hear something that reminds me of a loved one. I find myself smiling and feeling a warmth that I can't explain.
You are still in shock and very tender. Time does heal the pain a little, but, it is different for everyone of us.
I don't consider myself an expert, but, I am here to listen and offer any support I can!

Hi hanna, we must have been typing at the same time! Ditto!!

Hanna,
It makes a lot of sense to do what I feel will help me survive this. It was very good insight and I'll take it all in.
60'schild,
I've heard that before about feeling your family member. I will look forward to feeling the warmth. That's what it's all about!

Hi Nora, your fellow Maddicts are here for you!!

sorry to hear your sad news nora and hope you are feeling well

My sympathy to you and your family in this time of sadness.
You are not alone...
As extended family,
We will be here
To stand with you
When you need us...

Nora-

Blessings to you and your loved ones.

Nora, so sorry about your dad! I was getting some "have to's" done all day and just a bit ago got on the forums...please know you have my sincere sympathy and you and your family will be in my prayers daily.
I lost my parents years ago (mom--1997 and dad--2006) still miss them enormously...it never goes away but the intensity does ease with time.
Just like in the Bible...."be still and know"---you will be suprised the ways your dad's loving spirit will "visit" you...long story, but it has happened to me with all my passed-on family members and it is an unbelievable comfort! 60'schild is so right, we go to a wonderful place after this earthly life!
God be with you and comfrot you in the days and weeks ahead, dear...remember, as all the others have said here...we are all here for you!

Hi Nora, I am so so sorry to hear your father's passing. We ARE here to help you!

While you are attending to matters with your family, please remember to take care of yourself too. Rest and eat when you need to.

It takes time to come to a place of peace about a loved one's passing. Be confident that your father is in a place where happiness is perpetual.

I want to add my condolences to you Nora. What great comments people have left for you. This is a great forum, I think, and one of MM's best qualities is that its quality attracts the best.

......Nora, I am so very sorry! redhead64 is right.... right now you need to take extra good care of yourself.... this is bound to be a very surreal time, so remember whatever you are feeling is normal - each person is different....

Again, I am so very sorry about your father... keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

Nora, I'm so sorry about your father...It's hard. My mother died almost 4 years ago, and it gets easier most of the time, but it's still hard to know I won't ever see her again.

All my condolences to your family--do you have any siblings? Is your mother still alive? I hope they are doing okay.

Nora, my deepest sympathy goes out to you. My father passed away recently as well - January of this year -2008. I know how you feel about the silence being so overwhelming, I felt the same but could never put it in words. Thank you for sharing that with us. My father was such a good man that being without him has been difficult. Time helps ease the pain, but it seems endless sometimes. Get lots of rest and the days will pass. I'm sure both of our fathers are smiling down at us from heaven and want us to know how much they love us. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

To tell you the truth, you Maddicts are the best friends I've had. For you to really wish me such heartfelt wishes and you don't really know me besides all the fun times we've had breaking down each MM story in a flurry of fun loving thoughts. This truly has bonded us.
cad men,
What a sweet thought. Thank you!
greytone,
Thank you for offering that we are an extended family here. It trully is great!!
Peg4Prez,
I'm taking in your good wishes. Thank you so much!
SCfan,
I feel I have known you for a very long time and it's nice to be in touch again. You are lovely to wish me such comforting thoughts and the fact that you and others will be there for me.
Yes, redhead64, he was in so much pain from the illness and I know he is in a better place. I hope he'll hear me as I speak to him. Thank you redhead64 very much.
Dry Manhattan,
I know that I have to take care of myself. I worry about the well being of my small family here too. Thank you for opening this thread. It is so comforting. You are great!
Sizzie,
It's outstanding these lovely notices. The Mad Men fans are really top individuals!!! Thank you for your thoughts. It is greatly appreciated and helpful.
Betty Crocker,
I have my Mother and my Brother here. This is all my family and my dog 7 pound yorkshire terrier. We must survive this and keep moving forward in a good way. I know. Thank you, Betty!!!
Drink & Smoke,
You know, our family, travelled around so much that both my brother and I were never near our other family members except Mom and Dad. So this is the first close family death I've ever experienced. Ready about all of your lives and experiences have given me such a broader perspective of what I should know and I'm greatful for all your stories. It trully helps and I'm also here for all of you too. After all we are all in this together--in this world. Thank you for sharing.
My love to you all,
Nora

Nora,
My sincere condolences. I read yesterday on the other post, and didn't want to usurp that post. I feel your pain.
I am glad Dry Manhattan started this one.
The emptiness is the hardest. I lost my dad 14 years ago tomorrow (I lit a candle for him, and have done so every year).
When my dad past, I used to leave a room, to enter a new room hoping that quiet, empty feeling would pass.
It takes lots of tears, and time. I baked a lot. I ate a lot.
Just remember, you didn't lose him, he is in your heart forever. He can't be taken from you. You just can't call him on the phone.
And as someone on the other post might has written: there is the good thing/bad thing about loss. The bad thing, is dad is no longer making memories with you, the good thing, for me was, that my dad left me to grow into the adult he raised me to be.
Take care and be safe. We will be here when you come back.

Dear boop,
Yes, I am a part of what my Dad made me and I will carry that with me for the rest of my life. I am very greatful for your heartfelt post. Thank you.

This Message is for Mr. Weiner,
I want to thank you for the gift you gave me today. I actually was so enthralled with the episode tonight that I didn't think about my Dad's death. (I still can't believe I'm saying these words). Thank you for this great show you have given us all.
With my sincere Thanks and Good Wishes for another great year of Mad Men together with all these great people on the forum,
Nora

.....Nora, I am thinking of you every moment of this night. I've seen the episode, but I'm holding off posting, out of respect for your father.

We will get through this together......

Get some good rest tonight, and maybe your little dad will blow you a kiss in your dreams.....

XOXOXO

.....and no, it's not you - the time label on these posts are a little wacky right now.

not sure what excuse the AMC IT guys have come up with this week, but i assure you, they haven't figured out the riddle!

Nora, my deepest condolences about your father. No words are ever really comforting in grief or can stave off the sorrow, but it is nice to know that others do care.

The reality is that what you fear and dread, has come to pass. I guess the consolation and gift god gives you is that you were able to be there to say goodbye to your dad as he passed out of this world. They do know that you're present with them as they leave, and I think it makes it easier for them. As the years go by, that gift from the universe becomes very cherished.

A long time ago, someone asked me how you got over the grief. I replied that I just cried and cried, until eventually I became so worn out and tired from feeling sad that I had to start letting it go, usually a little at a time.

Each person is different in their grieving or the length of it, but eventually your heart starts to heal little by little.

As long as your father is a part of your memories, your heart, your humor, your being - he is always "living" and will be with you. He's free now, and would not want you to suffer over his suffering.

Take care Nora, and many blessings to you, your father, and your family at this time.

His name was WILLIAM PARADISE. He travelled the world always taking care of his family to the very end. He is SO missed. He needed to be mentioned.
Dry Manhattan,
Thank you for your respect to my father. I feel so privileged. There is so much love and kindness. I'm blessed...
jamm54,
I was waiting to hear from you. It's all so new to me. I'll try not to be scared of crying and relieve myself. I'll do what it takes to keep my small family going. You were very descriptive as to what's coming up and I am very grateful. And, know that I'm there for you too.
I am so indebted to you all.
And, you too Clayton for your wonderful monitoring of this great Site.

Hi Nora, I don't know when you will be able to read this post. Like Dry Manhattan, I want to give you time before talking about MM.

But, I had to let you know that during the show last night, when Joan was talking to Roger about losing someone you really love, I thought of you!

Honestly, it gave me chills...It was like the line was written with you in mind.

With that said, I hope you are finding some peace, and take care of yourself! I am sending a cyber hug your way!

Oh no..... I'm just now catching up on all the posts.

Nora -- SO sorry about your dad. All these posts are so nice to read from everyone. It's like our own little MM family. Anyway, my prayers are with you. It sounds like your dad was a great guy.

sorry to hear of your loss.

Bless you, Nora. I lost my dad a few years ago, but I still feel his presence (especially every time I ask him for help). Just remember the good times.

Nora, don't be afraid to let your grief overwhelm you, and weep for your loss. It's about the only thing that will ease the pain in your heart. When we've lost someone so dear to us, it is agony. The tears help cleanse the hurt in your heart. Grieving is a state of feeling that we undergo so that we can heal. The greater the loss, the greater the sorrow. Your dad will always be with you. Blessings.

60schild,
That line was amazing and it really resonates. The moment I heard it, it didn't register, but now it does. Thank you. Sooo thoughtful. So nice!
Laurie B.,
It is like our own MM family. I feel so much comfort. Thank you so very much.
I'm sending a hug back to you all.

Nora, sorry to hear about your dad. I'm sure it meant a lot to him you were there.

moto62,
I just received your post and condolences. Thank you. It's been so helpful to hear all your wishes for my well being and my family.
Jolie10,
I'm just now begining to understand how my Dad can still be with me. It's strange and little getting used to. Thank you for your thoughts.
Always,
Nora

.....Nora, just some ideas...... you kind of have to treat this grief thing as a child. It is a new addition to the equation, and will be with you in some form for the rest of your life. In fact, it almost takes on a life all its own. It will probably affect you in ways you haven't imagined yet.

It is going to act up at the weirdest times, for the weirdest reasons, in the weirdest manifestations. Probably when it's least convenient for you, and anything can trigger it.

The best thing you could probably do is just take a break from what you're doing if you can, and like jamm54 said, just respect the wave and let it wash over you and away until the next time.

And, by all means, carry your dad in your heart. They really do live on in us, as trite as that sounds. My parents have been gone for years now, and I still hear their voices every single day.

You will have many lengthening periods of normalcy, rudely punctuated with surprise visits from Mr. Grief. Knowing that in advance helps a lot I should think.

We're always thinking of you and your little family - just keep talking.

Yes, Dry Manhattan, it is a process of two steps forward, one step backward for a long time, isn't it?

Dry and jamm, so right about the "surprise visits--- as to grief. I still have those that just hit like a bolt...I see so much on MM that takes me back to my parents' lives when I was a child, when they were young and beautiful (not just me saying that, many people over time have commented that my mother looked like Maureen O'Hara and my dad looked like Charles Boyer--- or Ricardo Montalban (really!) they were knockouts and kinda like Don and Betty--- as to a "beautiful couple"-- except they were both just as gorgeous inside as out! I'll see Don or Betty do something or have some expression that reminds me of them and sure enough I'll have one of those "grief ambushes" !!! A fresh-as-yesterday crying jag. All you can do is let it "wash over you" as DM says up there...and you never know when another one will hit...even years and years later.

I love the way MM lets us visit those shining years in such amazing detail and memory-jogging clarity every week. It's fascinatingly like getting to "go home" to the Olden Golden Days we all miss so much and are so grateful for!

Nice looking parents scfan/Gidget! You were lucky! In a way, even when the grief spots hit you years later, well, it's comforting too, because it's a momentary remembrance of them and how you felt about them. So, they're never out of your life forever.

.....well, you know there's something going on when you're sitting on the couch bawling and howling over an AT&T commercial.

jamm - exactly.... maybe always, but I guess we'll find out.

I am so glad Nora was able to be with her dad when he needed her most.

scfan, I didn't know - I'm sorry the show has that effect on you. I guess that's a trigger for you.

Isn't it interesting that some of the nicest people on here have lost the most?

.....by the way, 60schild, I've spent more time in hospitals on behalf of other people than you would ever believe, and I worship RNs. I'll bet you are the best, too.

Between the politics of doctorism, the battered souls you have to nurture and guide, and the doctor and scientist you have to be, it's got to be the hardest, and also the most important, job in the world.

Yeah, in some ways it's surprising how your emotions come up on you from the most inane triggers.

My mother listened to the soundtrack from "Somewhere in Time" every night before dropping off to sleep, and asked me in her garbled voice (because the Lou Gehrig's disease robs you of the ability to swallow, eat, talk, breathe) if I would play that at her funeral. Which I did, but haven't been able to listen to it since.

Don't worry, DM---MM only has "that effect" (crying jags) once in a while! Thanks for the thought, though!
jamm, what a lovely soundtrack...I'm sure your mom was looking down and smiling hearing that.
oh, and DM...I worship RNs too---they are the ones who run the show, if you know what I mean!
EVERYONE ON HERE IS SO WISE!!!!!

...."...run the show..".....oh, yeah.... {;)

Dear Nora, My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Please take care and be patient with yourself. The love you shared with your dad will go on and you will gain strength from that. I wish you and your family well.

Nora--
so sorry to hear of your dad's passing. Sympathy to you and your family.

Nora, sorry to be so late in joining the others in offering condolences. Many positive thoughts and hugs to you! It's just hard, and we have no choice but to go through it.

Look how many people have posted here - I hope you take some comfort in knowing how well you are regarded by our little community.

Hi Dry Manhattan and SCfan! WOW! I have never been worshiped before!! One Hundred Thousand Thank Yous!!

DM, I know I'm not the best RN.
There are so many of us who never hear what you said in your post!!
It is so nice to hear from your experiences in health care that RNs made such a difference! I wish as a profession we were able to get that message through to those who manage the health care system in our country!

I am truely touched by your comments, thank you again!!

DM, I meant by RNs "run the show" that they are the ones who really know what's going on in the hospital, etc. They know more than the drs. do generally, because they are more "hands on" in caring for the patients. JMHO.

The Dr's here on the forum might have differing opinions! lol If so, just my opinion formed from observations when loved ones have been hospitalized...

Oh, also when I was hospitalized myself in 2006---every single nurse who cared for me was exceptional in her professionalism and kind attention to my needs. I have always greatly admired RNs...glad to have a chance to say so!
60'schild, you are an extension of God's love, girl!! (unless you're a male nurse... if so, that's good too!)

.....scfan, that is exactly what i meant. i don't worship lightly, believe me. none of us would have made it without those incredible, insightful, genius angels to get us through. RNs ARE health care.

......well, I remember buying and bringing lots of flowers, candies, cards and other treats. right before the six-month collapse.

....and CNAs and everyone else, too. That was rude of me..... so sorry!

Glamara,
Yes, I was extremely lucky to have been able to get here in time to see my father alive. So very lucky and I know it meant a lot to him. Thank you Glamara.
Dry Manhattan,
You are so poetic and have such imagination. The metaphor of it being an ocean wave that washes over you and yet can come and go as it pleases, is a treasure to hold. I can almost feel the effervescence of the residue washing away the sadness. I know I can confide in you and today I had one of those, "I want to go with my Dad" sort of moment. You just can't imagine his great spirit. I actually came to this thread and I was shocked to find that it actually helped to read these posts!!! Amazing!!!! It brought me back sort to speak. The fact that I am a child in this new experience is also good to remember since it's all so very new to endure. (I know Jamm54 contributed to this) I'm forever grateful.
I let my brother and my mother read what all you said and they think you are all outstanding.
jamm54,
I know that garbled voice well. I tried so hard to understand, but it was just impossible. Sorry,sorry!
60'schild,
What Dry Manhattan said is true. RN's are outstanding and it reminds me to make a special effort to find the ones who took care of my Dad the last few days and do somethig special for them. I must do it right away. People like you cannot be forgotten ever.
SCfan,
Maureen O'hara and Charles Boyer! How beautiful they must have been. I love these stars and just yesterday saw the "Parent Trap" with Maureen O'hara. How very beautiful she was there. You're very beautiful too I know. Thank you for sharing your feelings about how MM affects you and hope you find solace too. You know when I watched the episode yesterday I was so immersed in it I forgot for a moment what had happened in my life. This show has such great life o its own and, in a way, though it touches you at deep levels somehow it fulfills you at the same time. Thanks for sharing.
formerWRGer,
This thread was a great gift and you can imagine how very thankful I am to speak to all of you!!!!!!!!!!
rozsie,
I will gain strength from the love of my Dad. What a nice thing to say!!
Good Night All!
I'll Talk to you again tomorrow!
Always,
Nora

....Nora, I bet they would be extremely fulfilled at receiving a card from you.... YOU are poetic.

And, no, you must stay here - we need you.

jamm - you are so right about the emotional "triggers" - I think of them as sense-memories. My late grandmother was part English and loved her tea (also one of my favorite drinks). Every time I drink a cup of tea, I think of her. I had a favorite tea cup at her house that I drank from when I visited, and I took it home after she died. I couldn't use that cup for a couple of years after her death without crying (not necessarily in a bad way - happy memories associated with it). Now I use it all the time, and I talk to her when I use it (like "I love you, Grandma"). It's silly, maybe, but it makes me feel good, and I know she's close to me then. :)

Nora, it might be nice to have something that belonged to your Dad around, something that's quintessentially "him" and has happy memories associated with it. It's sad right now, but it might be comforting later.

....hanna and everyone - i can relate to the "stuff" thing. i put everything away for YEARS because i couldn't bear to look at it, until one day i went, "well those are the nicest things in my possession, so i might as well enjoy them!"

hanna! Just so true! I have my mom's pieces of "Old Country Roses"-- tea cup & saucer, and 3 mugs (I was in the process of buying her a piece of it each Mother's Day the four years before she passed--the next piece I would have bought her would have been the bud vase but she passed the Feb. before Mother's Day that year) When I'd go to visit her we'd have our tea, me from one of the mugs and she from the teacup...I like you couldn't use them until she'd been gone a few years...now they are a comfort. I talk to my mom all the time...I don't think it's one bit "silly"--I think it's sweet! I can feel her with me when I talk to her.
I planted a little (about 12' x 12') 'Mom's Rose Garden for her the first anniversary of her passing and it still blooms and blooms and I bring the roses inside and put them in the "Old Country Roses" bud vase I bought after she died--- just to have it "in her memory". I can feel her with me when I talk to her esp. in that little garden.
I also talk to my Dad as I go through the hatbox I kept of my mom's that has his "60's style" fedora (with the little red feather in it--just like Don's!)that he wore so handsomely in my youth, and his pen, lighter, wallet (with pics of all of us still in it)
Nora, do keep a few small mementos they will comfort you later on.
Love to all....

SCfan - Planting a garden or plant is a wonderful idea! My mother received a beautiful rose plant at her mother's funeral and put it in the yard outside the kitchen window. It blooms all summer long and is a wonderful reminder of a beloved person. I nice metaphor too - something that blooms, blossoms, lives in memory of someone who's gone but not forgotten.

Nora,
My thoughts are with you and your family in your time of sadness. It was good that you had a chance to be with your father at the end. Many of us aren't so fortunate.

You have always been one of the kindest, most cheerful and upbeat posters on this site. I responded to your thread titled, "O.K. Who Are You? And what brings you here?" because I loved the straight-forward, no-nonsense approach of the subject line. It drew me in immediately.

Your great attitude will be a plus in helping you get through this heartbreaking time. Come back soon.

......Hi Nora..... just checking in to see how things are going.... talk to you soon.....

Hi Nora I hope you are pulling through o.k. as you know we are all here for you and i am keeping you in my prayers.

Remembering, how much DOES that cat weigh???

Hello Nora - Sorry I missed you and this thread I had no idea but I am truly sorry for your loss and you are in my thoughts and prayers. Remember the good times!

Hi Nora! Hope your are well!!

Hi Maddicts! A humble Thank You again for your kind comments regarding RNs!
Someone mentioned CNAs also. They are a very important member of the health care team, and should be thanked as well. We couldn't do our jobs with out them!! And the LPNs (or LVNs depending on what state you live in). And, of course high praise for our fantastic MDs, APRNs, and PAs, and all of the health care team members!

I just want to share a story with you regarding what some of you have shared about your hospital experiences.
When I worked in Critical Care, years ago. It was an extremely busy Open Heart unit, with the very sickest patients. A one to one RN to patient ratio was not unusual, that is how complicated the care for these patients' was.
As an RN, I had to perform sometimes painful procedures on patients, they were connected to many machines, monitoring devices, were often delerious from sickness and the medications they were on, they were sleep deprived from the 24 hour critical care environment.
Most of our patients told us after that they didn't remember a lot about there experiences. But, they did remember the simple things, back rubs, their first food (liquid), a cold cloth on the head etc.
So, I realized that these were the things humans craved and chersihed from other humans. And usually it was our CNA staff who received the Thank You cards and gifts.
I learned what a blessing it was that my patients didn't remember most of the "high tech.", they remembered the simple touches, kindnesses.

I found that amazing. It helped me realize how important those things are! And of course, everytime I am a patient now, I understand.
I know now, with 30 years of nursing under my belt, that illness and death are the great equalizers in our world. We can all share those experiences, no matter who we are, and where we come from.
OK, enough from me!

Yes, "touch" is always healing.

Nora and All---here is a comforting (I hope) poem my cousin sent me in 2005, when my dad first became seriously ill: It helped (and continues to help) me a lot:

God hath not promised
Skies always blue
Flower-strewn pathways
All our lives through
God hat not promised
Sun without rain
Joy without sorrow
Peace without pain

But, God hath promised
Strength for the day
Rest for the laborer
Light on the way
Grace for the trial
Help from above
Unfailing sympathy
Undying love

Nora: I'm so sorry to hear the sad news and sorry I'm so late in checking in. I lost my dad in 1981 - he was a hero, served in the marines in WWII in Okinawa and came home shell-shocked, as they called it in those days. He didn't speak to anyone for a year and I was a child and didn't understand. But eventually he came out of it and continued to be a hero to all around him. I lost my mom a couple of years ago (at 94) and took care of her for 2 years before she passed. She was my best friend. I never thought I would get over it, but time helped. Last week I was in a deep sleep and her voice woke me up saying "get up, you're late". So they are still with us, Nora, and we will see them again someday. You have an extended family here on these posts, so keep letting us know how you are doing.

Scfan
hanna
Dry Manhattan
honeysuckle
Remembering
Hapynzap
60'schild
jamm54
wasthere
Glamara
The poems, the allusions, the sharing of your stories of loved ones long past, and all of your caring have helped me so very much. I will share with you soon too. You don't know how much it's meant to me!!
I have been making funeral arrangements for this Saturday. I get to view my Dad starting tomorrow. My brother had the computer tied up with so much paper work and just haven't had a moment to be in touch, but I have been reading all the wonderful messages and have found some solace. It's still so surreal. I can't believe he went so fast!
I love all of you and the wonderful families that made who you are.
Nora

Nora, it sounds like your dad was a dear man. I can relate to that so much.

I read a poem at my sister's funeral 5 yrs ago (breast cancer) called "Safely Home":

I am home in Heaven dear ones
Oh so happy and so bright!
There is perfect joy and beauty
in this everlasting light.

All the pain and grief is over
every restless tossing passed.
I am now at peace forever
Safely home with God at last.

And he came himself to meet me
in that way so hard to tread;
And with Jesus' arm to lean on
Could I have one doubt or dread?

So you must not grieve so sorely
For I love you dearly still
Try to look beyond earth's shadows
Trust our Father's will.

When your work is all completed
He will gently call you Home
Oh the rapture of that meeting
Oh the joy to see you come!

Laurie B., just beautiful...I know your sister loved hearing you read that for her.

Nora,
I am so sorry to hear about your father. William Paradise sounds like a wonderful man, and he certainly raised a lovely daughter. My apologies for coming to this post so late. You are in my thoughts and prayers, and if you ever come to Manhattan we will raise a glass in your father's honor.

To everyone else who posted their thoughts, thank you. You are all such lovely and considerate people, and I feel fortunate to be a part of this community.

Hi Nora, I know you are about to have some really tough days ahead.
Take care of yourself, let people help you, God Bless you and your family.
Many prayers, good thoughts, and cyber hugs are coming your way!!

May your father be resting in peace!

......Laurie B. - I'm so sorry - that is horrible...... my oldest sis also had it.

Hers was the same scenario as Christina Applegate.... she's okay 20 yrs later since they caught it early, and she could see her kids graduate from college....

That is a beautiful poem.

.....Hi Nora....just checking in .....

We know you are so busy.... give us a heads-up when you get a little time....

Just do what you have to do, and we'll fill you in on the details later... sorry we can't help more....

We miss you!!!

Hello Nora, I wish the best for you and your family as i said before you are in my prayers. God is on your side..Love

Hi Dry Manhattan! Bravo!! Your post is wonderful, and you are right. I wish we could help more!

That's the frustration of trying to reach out to someone like Nora who has been like a friend to so many of us and experienced a terrible loss.

I guess the best thing we can do is follow your lead on this thread, wish her well, and send love and support.
Thank you for starting this thread, and allowing us to express our thoughts, and send her our support!

TGIF Nora and Maddicts. Hope you weekend goes well!

Dear Nora,
I am terribly sorry to hear about your loss. You have my deepest sympathy. I have lost both my parents and it is a huge shock to the system.
All of your fellow Maddicts support you in your time of grief and wish you the best.
We hope to see back around the forums when you get the time.
Take care and peace be with you!

Hello Nora: Typed below is something Ithat was given to me called "Going Home" at my mom's funeral. I hope it will give you solace:

I stand upon the seashore
A ship spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and heads out to sea
Across the blue ocean, she is an object of beauty and strength and
I stand and watch her until at length
she hangs like a speck of white cloud on the horizon, just where the sea and sky meet
to mingle with each other.
At my side someone says,"There. She's gone."
Gone where? Gone from my sight, that's all.
She is just as large in mast and spar and hull as when she sailed close by
And just as able to bear her load of living freight
to the place of destination.
Her diminished size in my visiion alone.
And at the moment when someone at my side says
"There. She's gone!" Other eyes watch her coming and other voices take up the glad shout:
Here she comes!" And that is dying.

Let us know how you are doing, Nora, when you are up to it. God Bless!

Dry: Thank you. I'm glad your sister made it. Mine was 37 and left 4 small children. It was devastating. Then her widowed hubby took up with a skanky bi-polar cigar-bar girl. Men - can't shoot 'em.

Nora - our thoughts and prayers are with you GF.

SCFan: Thanks.

......Nora.....I am thinking about you tonight, and all day tomorrow....

Eat some good breakfast tomorrow (this is important), and please remember to take plenty of Kleenex packets - you and others won't be sorry.

Remember we are miss you and are waiting patiently for you to come back....

Lots of Hugs.....

Dear All,
Last night was the last viewing. I didn't know that at the Catholic Church you can't have an open coffin so that was the last time I saw my father's body. I really didn't know what to do with myself so I took a sedative (been taking, but like a quarter of a pill), but this time I took 2 quarters and it wiped me out. I'm just now awakening from it and just didn't know what to do with myself (I repeat). So I came to the forum and sure enough it had some wonderful highlights for me. Again, thank you. Mom and Brother are asleep. My dog Charlie lies right on my mothers feet and no matter how many times I move him away, he goes right back. "He must like the smell", I told my Mom. She laughed. I just hope we all make it through this so much. The funeral had to be moved to Monday. It will be a beautiful service and I'll share more right after.
Laurie B.,
I just re-read "Safely Home". The part of "When your work is all completed, he will gently call you home." It's so true. At the wake last night we were talking about his last moments on earth and the events all made sense. I can't finish this now...
I'll talk again soon.
wasthere, thank you too for "Going Home"! So personal and so very appreciated.
madmanfan4ever (love your name!),
Thank you for sharing your loss too with me. And thank you for being there for me.
honeysuckle, old fashioned,scfan,60'schild,hapynzap and last but not least, Dry Manhattan, I feel your love. I wish I could write more, but I'm getting tired again.
Love to a great bunch of folks, the "Maddicts"!!!!!!!!!!!

.....Well, I know the suspense is terrible, but at least you have a couple more days to catch your breath. Be good to yourselves. Check in when you can.

Oh the beauty of animals and their attention to one's grief! Sweet Charlie not leaving your mom's side, it's so touching. They know where they are needed. I love that.
You will all make it through, together.

Last night was very hard. I thought I wasn't going to make it. Mom keeps asking if Dad's coming back and is just temporarily away. Brother is consumed with grief. Dad had such a way with us to keep us (or anyone in trouble) together. He looked at things from such a grander scale. He guided us and now he's gone....
I have lots of pics in my computer of my Dad, but I can't access them or I'd display them.
This has been such a nice thread to come home to. Thank you again.

Well, in tonight's episode Betty goes to visit her ailing father (ring a bell?). As I mentioned before to Matt Weiner above, the episodes are like a gift to me since when I watch, I think of nothing else but the very interesting characters and story. Gotta go. Talk again...

....Nora.......we had a sudden influx of all kinds of new...er... traffic, so this got buried. I am so sorry you guys are having such a hard time..... I wanted you to know that I am thinking of you (we all are) and waiting for you.

Last week was "therapy week" for a lot of people on here who have lost someone they love. I don't know if it would comfort you, but there are mentions of it all over last week's various threads, by some of your good friends here....there was sadness and also a few laughs for some.....

Sending you strength for tomorrow.... remember what I said - hugs - talk soon.

Dry Manhattan, thank you for keeping this post going!

Nora, hang in there...one day at a time....
I'm sending you a little Irish blessing that is one of my favorites (there are so many). Here goes:

May you always be blessed with walls for the wind.
A roof for the rain.
A warm cup of tea by the fire.
Laughter to cheer you.
Those you love near you. And all that your heart might desire.

Take care of yourself! Write when the time is right for you.

Nora, hope all is well and that you're holding up. It's rough, but we're all thinking of you, and hope that lends some comfort and distraction from what you're going through right now.

Nora, I just asked earlier if anyone knew why we hadn't heard from you. I'm sorry for your loss. I too have had a rough go of it lately. I didn't post for a couple of weeks because my father had a heart attack and they went in and did a triple bypass. His second heart attack in two years. He didn't quit smoking after his first, but now with having a bypass and all the pain that goes with it, he says he doesn't want to go through that again, and for now he's quit smoking. Nora, I love your insights on the show, hope to read of your return.

Waditah: Sorry to hear about your dad. I'll keep him in my prayers along with Mr. Paradiso.

By Nora Paradiso on October 6, 2008 8:42 PM
Hi all my loving friends I've gotten so close to on this forum. I'm sure one day we will all meet in person. I know it!
Just to let you know though my heart is heavy and miss out 4th person to complete my small family, I'm happy to tell you that we survived the funeral. It was very beautiful and what a nice send off. We know Papa is with God and Jesus and was Blessed by the Father.
I read two scriptures and sang "So In Love" the first short verse and cried but made it through as a tribute for the love of my Mom and Dad of 62 years of marriage. Then I read the Eulogy and ended it with his work being completed because literally 3 short weeks ago he was helping move boxes with my brother, Herman, closing our Home Health Care business. After our building was emptied out, he started experiencing severe pains and we thought he needed a routine operation of his prostate. I thought that was what I was coming here for. Never did I think I would come here this time to bury my dear father. We found out he had liver cancer last Monday and he went quickly with excrutiating pains. His doctor at the wake said that it is the most painful thing a human can endure! Someone there mentioned also, that when my father saw the emptied out building that "his work was done". The poem, "Safely Home" that Laurie B. sent me was so appropriate: "When your work is all completed He will gently call you Home". So, I used it to finish the Eulogy of my father's very exciting life. I thank you Laurie B.!!!!
My heart is very heavy as I write this, but I'm happy to have made it through, all of us. Your support has been so very meaningful. The support and Catholic laws of order also helped put everything in perspective. I'm so grateful to have had this for us all. Well, that's the story of what's been going on.
Love to all,
Nora

Hi Dry Manhattan!
You're really something, last night I thought well, I must let go, enough of posting about my loss, then this am I looked just to see if there were some words of love and sure enough you had opened the thread back up and there they were as I was getting ready to go to the funeral. It made me feel special. Thanks, Dry Manhattan!
60'schild,
I've read and re-read you Irish Blessing. Thank you!
Oldfashioned,
Thanks for wanting my open thread. You're kind!
jamm54,
Yes, you all have lent lots and lots of comfort. Thank you!!
Waditah,
I'm glad your Dad wants to take care of himself now. So nice! I'm sure it was very stressful for you and that things are getting better. Thank you for your concern for me!
wasthere,
Hope you get my messages to let you know I've survived. Thank you for being there!!!!!!!!!!! Wish I could post a picture of me with my Dad but not scanner set up in Brother's computer since we just brought the office home after closing our business of 20 years. We need to organize again. I'd love you to see my sweet father!

Dear Nora:

My deepest sympathies on the loss of your father. I've been there; lost my father in 1980 and my mother in 2002.

We are your friends! I feel like I've found a new family on this blog myself.

Please know that my heart is with you at this time.

Gail Klein,
Thank you for your kind words. Now, I know what you've been through. It's so unreal. Losing a parent is so hard. My heart is with you as well. Thank you.

Dear Nora:I haven't posted recently,but it doesn't mean I haven't thought about you.....My sincerest prayers are with you and positive vibrations are being sent from all over this forum from your fellow Maddicts.
I imagine the funeral service was beautiful and full of love.
So many of us here have lost our parents and we know how hard it is for you now.....take care,be strong....you are not alone!
Peace be with you.