"Let me guess, you angered Mr. Draper again?"

would you like your turn-on, err... turn-down service, ma'am?

Don't forget to vacuum under the bed.

That's the third one Mr. Draper has left behind for me to clean up this week...

That's the third one this week Mr. Draper has left behind for me to clean up...

Little tidbit of info for you lady: The first rule about the Don Draper Treatment is you don't talk about the Don Draper Treatment...

Housekeeping? . . (a la Chris Farley) :)

Is there an extra charge for airing dirty laundry?

I knew you'd been smoking in here!

Salvatore?
--Joan?
We have to agree to never mention this again.

Excuse me, ma'am. I see you've already had your 'turned-down' service.

"Could you be a dear and grab me my brandy manhattan...And a straw?"

Not now Alice, I'm busy...

Don! I wanted a clean lady, not a CLEANING LADY!

"Would you be a dear and hand me my brandy manhattan...And a straw?"

I'm dying for a cigarette. Do you mind, hon?

I'm dying for a smoke. Do you mind, hon?

"You've come a long way, baby."

Did you ask for the Full Don Draper Treatment, miss?

Be a dear and light one for me? That's life. One minute, you're on top of the world. The next, some Ad Man gets a call from his wife and splits.

Pete: "We're here to service your needs at Hilton Hotels"

May I borrow your maid uniform?

"We're here to service your needs - Hilton Hotels"

"You haven't seen a Mr. Duck Phillips around, have you?"

Maidenform: Keeping You Together in Tight Situations

"What happens at the Hilton, Stays at the Hilton!!!"

"What happens at the Hilton, stays at the Hilton!!"

Oh, I'm sorry miss. Mr. Draper said he was all done in here.

Is that a Lucky Strike?

(sigh) OK, honey. You and I both know I aint gettin paid enough for this, so how much is it worth to you?

"That's life... one minute you're on top of the world, the next minute you're tied to the bedpost."

Whaddya waiting for? Go get me a handsome business man, pronto!

Tell ya what, Cha Cha - I'll give you a fiver if ya cut me loose - a tenner if you go get me that handsome brute from down at the bar with the good looks - what'll it be?

"It's not what it looks like, I'm married!"

Oy! Please don't tell the Rabbi!

We service all of your needs at Hilton Hotels.

The bastard didn't even offer to leave me a cigarette.

Will you get that?
No, not the phone...THAT

Could be worse. I could have been trapped in this hotel room with out a great tasting, long lasting Lucky Strike - the great taste that tastes great in *any* situation!

Oh, come on honey, like this never happened to you - know what I'm sayin'?

The bastard didn't even offer to leave me a cigarette.

Who's the comedian that called maid service?

Men! Am I right, sweetie? Now be a doll and cut me loose so I can go teach some handsome mug a lesson or two...

What happens when you go behind one Dick to play with another Dick

Are there any handsome men in the hall?

Clean ups, tie ups, for life's tough spots: Don Draper.

Finally, are there any handsome men in the hall?

Trust me, honey, this is the dirty that doesn't need cleaning...

Did you want me to scream or clean?

Oh, don't act like you haven't seen the Don Draper Treatment before!

Did you want me to Scream or Clean?

A woman's work is never done.

Oh, come on honey, somewhere in this business, this has happened before.

Nylon stockings are tricky suckers.

"Two's a crowd honey"

"ocupado"

Finally! Have I got an itch!

You're not the Bellhop boy...

"This is nothing. You should have been at Lutece."

"No, these bracelets are not from the hotel gift shop."

Do you think I can get a smoke?

Can I get a smoke?

He told you to stop talking! Didn't he tell you to stop talking!?

You Again?? Damn lady!

"oh dear what did you do this time?"

"This is nothing. You should have been at Lutece."

How do you say "bondage" in Italian?
Hilton.

I don't think that will fit!

"When they say dangerously handsome I guess they mean it."

This never happened!

That vacuum isn't the only thing that sucks!

I know, I know, next time, think before you speak!

A new technique from the fat farm on dieting.

This never happened!

Another notch (knot) on the bedpost!

Surprised? Just untie me and give me a cigarette!

I guess I need to just grin and Barrett!

I got three sheets to the wind and tied this on!

Call Peggy Olsen. This can be fixed!

Thanks for asking... but, no... I'm not enjoying my stay.

Smile, you're on grin and BARRETT

If only I had a nickel for every time this happened.

At least the bastard took the do not disturb sign!

My people are Nordic?

"Well, don't just stand there! Get me a man!"

"I wonder if the girl at Random House kept talking too...."

"MF seeks tall, dark smoker in grey - let's get dirty!"

I'll vacuum just untie me and give me the cigarette!

I specifically ordered a French maid.

Oh what! Like you've never seen this before!!

Believe it or not, this has happened to me before!

I'm a little tied up here, can you come back later?

Honey, this isn't my first rodeo, now get me untied.

"If you aren't here to put that cigarette out on me then you need to leave."

"Mr. Draper is getting sloppy. He left this one alive. Tsk Tsk Tsk. Don't worry. I take care of it."

You will be surprised how much this never happened!

This is not what you think.....but untie me anyway!!

"We couldn't get the handcuffs out of the mini-bar!"

How do you say "housekeeping" in Spanish?
Hilton.

Loose hips and lips sink 'ships!

Honey, I don't need suction tools to blow my own horn but I won't say know to a drag off your cigarette.

Honey, I don't need suction tools to blow my own horn but I wouldn't say no to a drag off your cigarette.

There are two sides of every woman. For them both, Maidenform.

Definitely a go around like I've never had...

"No, I don't think that vacuum cleaner cord would be more comfortable than Don's necktie, now fire me up a Lucky and scoot!"

Look up and smile, Mrs. Barrett, you're on Candid Camera!

It's hard being the other woman!

THIS was not in my job description!

Don't just stand there, get me some fresh batteries!

Well, you're no Don Draper, but I suppose you'll do.

Is that a vacuum in your hand, or are you just happy to see me?

You didn't give me a hickey, did you?

Next week, on GRIN AND BARRETT....

Hurry up, honey! Tie up my feet with the cord and undress me before I lose my nerve!

I specifically asked for a MALE maid this time. Dammit!

Oh fer crissakes! Halloween was last weekend, sweetheart!

Boy, vibrators have come a long way, haven't they?

"All right, tell Mr. Draper I'm ready for my close-up."

Ugggh...wrong "tall, dark smoker in grey, ready for filth"

Don said I was like a Hoover! What a coincidence.

"Bobbie has a different kind of butt for that mouth..."

"Nice try, Don. The cigarette is a dead giveaway."

"Don sent you up here to clean up my WHAT?!"

A vacuum??? C'mon Jimmy, you can do better than that!

Oh kinky! A maid, some bondage play, a cigarette and a vacuum...my, my, my are we gonna have some fun today, sweetheart!

No Don. I said MAILMAN, not Male Maid!

Not now. I'm a little tied up.

Sweetheart, would you mind calling my wife? I won't be home for dinner.

"Didn't I give you the day off?"

Oh Thank God you're here.....I need a cigarette!

Dearie, lemme drag on that cig while you untie me.

Don Jaun'ered away from Ms. Maidenform

As you can plainly see, I've already BEEN "disturbed"!!

The sheet might be a bit damp.....

Trust me maam, I am a professional... Learn Spanish in Mexico