Relax Roger, It's only blanks!

Dammit Don, I know you're having an affair!

Aim lower. It pulls up when you shoot.

Steady Betty. Steady.

Maybe I should have convinced her to keep the Chip and Dip.

"Sure you can shoot pigeons, but how about the most dangerous game, Duck?"

You're a regular 'ole Lee Harvey, Betts!

Housewife 5, Jr. Exec. 3; Double or nothing, Betts?

The bullet holes give the Rothko a certain je ne sais quoi...

Five to three. We're out of Don's shirts. You win,

"Jeez, Betty, they only taught me the Charleston at MY country club."

"Bye-bye, birdies."

"This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship."

"I love a woman who can commit murder in heels."

"Remember - thirty extra points if you hit below Don's belt."

Easy as shooting DON in a barrel... of whiskey!

"I'll get Dick, you get Don."

"Off the door frame, past the chair, nothin' but Lois."

"Hells bells Betty...where did you learn to shoot like that?"

"Wonder if Don will put my name in the lobby if I get him a quickie divorce."

I got your Dick Whitman - RIGHT HERE!

You know Betty, if you want to get back at Don, we could just hide all of his whiskey.

Call of Trudy: Mad Men Warfare

Second window from the left, get those Putnam jerks.

"Now Betty, aim right for the center of the Chip and Dip."

"We actually got THREE chip 'n dips, so for rifles: I got two!"

I know it's not good advertising, but hey, don't shoot the message.

"Sally, open the door and yell 'PULL!'"

Make my bed and light the light,
I'll be home late tonight,
Blackbird bye bye.

Betty: "It's not murder. Don Draper's already dead."

Pete: "Is it murder if Don Draper's already dead?"

Betty, its 10 points per Creative Director, 5 points Account Executive, 2 points secretary

Of course I keep missing. YOU try shooting without a left thumb.

Betty accidentally picks up a copy of Hunting & Fishing magazine and gets inspired to try a new angle for a tupperware party.

"Don did a lousy job of teaching you Bette's, I am going to walk you through it! Make sure you have a firm grip and that its slightly erect...pull back...pull back...that's it, that's it! Now lets get a drink!"

Pete: "I know exactly how you feel but don't do anything drastic. He is the father of your children after all"

"Yeah, that one missed, too. You know, Mrs. Draper, just a wild guess, but I think you may be squinting the wrong eye."

I'm not saying the SNL writers don't deserve it Betts, but an acting lesson couldn't hurt.

I like your no nonsense approach to taking care of business at the office. My turn for a shot at it now.

You shot him down in flames, Betts.

Betty, are you really going to aim for the crotch again?

It's toasted.

Pete to Betty: Wow, you do hate Don more than I hate Ken!!!

Pete: Okay, you got the beatnik, the rich girl, the stewardess,the comedian's wife and the gypsy. Double or nothing on the teacher.

On second thought Betty, I believe this actually IMPROVES Cooper's painting!

Gosh, I'm sorry Don, in your black and grey suit, I thought you were a pigeon...

Betty, I said "not fired", not "fire one off"!

Pete: So it's agreed? you get the kids, and I get the Hilton account

Pete: "What's SNL??" Betty: "Just shut up and shoot!"

Wow, Betty. I guess we can add John Wayne to your Grace Kelly comparison.

Betty, you are right. These COULD be sold in a variey of colors.

When Roger announced he was gunning for Don, Betty and Pete got the wrong idea.

Sally, go to your room!

"You did warn him that you hated being called Betts?"

"Betty, you are right. These COULD be sold in a variety of colors."

"I never had an air-rifle: I'd shoot my eye out."

No, Betty, you can't use your earrings if you run out of bullets!

Betts, you're distracting me with your rear - er, RARE - form!

pete to betty " Hells Bells Betts, they sure did teach you a lot at Bryn Mawr!" betty to pete " YOU BETCHA!"

Mine's bigger than yours, Pete.

Wow! We're actually "shooting" Don's fall in the opening credits!

He should be coming through the door right about......NOW!

I got your "Betts, let's talk" right here, buddy !

Don's down to his last life, Betts. Shouldn't you, erm, slow down a bit?

YOU have double standards, Don, but I have DOUBLE BARRELS!

Betty you sure do have good aim, are you sure that you haven't held a gun before?

You think Reno was fast? This is fast.

How many SNL writers ARE there?

Pete 3. Betty 5. Holdin' a gun; still no balls.

You sure Sally gets her temper from Don?

Guns are for BOYS. GIRLS can't have gu-NO BETTY!

Don never wants a second cup of MY coffee!

We're not "shooting blanks" here, are we?

Betty? You fired 5 times, there's only 4 shel-NO BETTY!

Wait for Chauncey to flush Duck before shooting.

That jacket makes you look a little fa-NO BETTY!

A gun is a girl's best friend.

Five to three, Let's see Bobbie Barrett top that!

Betty you fired 5 times. It's my tur-NO BETTY!

Betty? Betty? If anything happens, can I have your gun?

The spent shell casings? No, they will not stain your carpet..

Pill box hat. Check.
White gloves. Check.
Cigarette. Check.
Ammo. Check......

Pete sings:
She's so rock steady (Bam-BA-lam)
She's always ready (Bam-BA-lam)
Whoa-oa, black Betty (Bam-BA-Lam)!

"Keep talking while I aim and I'll shoot a hole through your can, Campbell." - Betty

Pete: "Three shots may be my limit. I'm feeling pretty loaded."

" Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, New York in the summertime............PULL !! "

"Well heck Betty, maybe I should try pretending they're all Don too"

Clip a bimbo, take a drink.

"I am certain Don would agree Betty. Ladies first."

ATF -- "The Mad Men Diet" of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms

Okay now Don.....DANCE !

" Eat My Lead " means more than just the paint shavings.....

ATF -- "The Mad Men Diet" -- Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms.

" Does this shotgun make me look fat? "

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, no Dicking around.

The two of us - here - playing with our shotguns, Betty? A thing like that...

"Well heck Betty, maybe I should try pretending they're all Don, too"

"Keep talking while I aim and I'll shoot a second hole in your can, Campbell." - Betty

(slightly more crass than my first attempt)

Betty, you're really going to have to control your breathing. Just wounding those McCann fellows won't do.

No, Betts, you can't see Russia from here. That's New Jersey.

Betty, Thanks for your help with the Lady Remington account.

Betty: "Draper season"
Pete "Cosgrove season"
Betty "Draper season"
Pete "Cosgrove season
Betty " Cosgrove season:
Pete "Draper season...hey...

Should we untie Don and give him a sporting chance?

Pete: All right, everybody be cool, this is a robbery!
Betty: Any of you f&^&*^ pricks move, and I'll execute every motherf^&%4 last one of ya!

Is that really what the Aqua Net ad made you think of, Betty?

Pete: You know Mrs. Draper, knowing your target audience is what advertising is all about... so don't shoot till you see the whites of Don's eyes.

Betty: Shut up Pete, it's not Don's eyes I'm aiming for!

Whatever you do Betty, it's sure to end with a "BANG".

" Betty, I just love how your dress swirls up from the kick-back of the shotgun "

"Well, she isn't wild, but I bet she's game."

OK -- we've got our Duck Hunting licenses, too.

"It's Manhattan Pete! They all look like Don!"

Betty: "this is more effective than every idea or campaign you ever pulled DON!"
Pete: "Ain't that right"

Don't shoot Don, Betty, I need a promotion!!!

"Nice shot Betty, now be a sport and hit Peggy!"

"Gee this is better than shooting skeet at the club. Good shot Betty!"

" Enough with this anemic, pea-shooting Browning, Pete. You got a gun around here with some real 'kick' to it? "

On second thought, Cooper's art actually looks BETTER this way.

Hell, Betty. If more women could shoot like that you could all join the army instead of shopping all day. Where did you put the Stolichnaya? That's imported, you know.

“ What do you mean I cannot play “Russian Roulette” with a rifle? There’s a six-bullet capacity, and I only loaded it with one bullet ….??? ”

Bryn Mawr Class of '57 -- "Powderpuff" Skeet and Rifle Team Champion

I knew New York Divorce laws would be trouble someday.

Betty: "Smoking helps you aim better."

Pete: "Wow, a thing like that."

Betty: "I hit him with 5 shots and he's still alive!"

we're one step away from my trifecta..

Go a-hem.. MAKE MY DAY! I mean, life.. hey, what an idea: we should both get one! I'm so-o-o forward-thinking :D

You remind me of a certain Dick.. some 30 years into the future!

Pete: ... and when I'm out of bullets I use it to play air guitar.

Nice shot, Sweetheart! Now be a good girl and get me a cup of coff....................

Betty, I'm impressed. Slick city skeet shooter you.

I have to admit your right Betty. It is possible that Oswald was the lone gunman.

Betts: "Oops..let me try again, my tool belt slipped"

"I, too, enjoy pointing my gun at birds."

Yahoo..I can see Canada from this window..You betcha!

Guy walks by an advertising agency!

Yes Betty, I'm positive that Don has been disguising himself as Ken Cosgrove.

"Betty, did you go shopping with Peggy again?"

Geez Betty, Just use a bottle opener already.

Betty: Where is that Don?

Pete: He is out for a "Nooner"

Nice shot sweetheart! Now be a good girl and get me a cup of coff........................

Puttnam, Powell & Lowe hire Betty to follow through with the layoffs after the buyout of Sterling – Cooper.......

Yes, Betty... Creative did come up with this new concept called "Going Postal."

Wow. Those Macy's balloons drop faster than Don's pants....

Betty: Pete, just do as I say and you'll get the Winchester account as well as Don's position at the new firm.

Pete: Betty, I'll go pick up your prescription. It's been a while since your last tranquilizer, right?

So... you finally found the box, huh?

Hey, Don! Limit your exposure!

What do you mean "go upstairs!"? It's my office.

"Hey Betty, how do you cock this thing, I can't seem to get mine cocked!"

Pete, I know you're upset at the way some people in the office have treated you, but GET OUT OF THE WAY.

Pete: Oswald made everything seem all right. Betty: He sure did.

"I dreamed I was a sharpshooter in my Maidenform bra."

Pete: "It's never too early to do shots..."
Betty: "...and you need to catch up!"

"I love Nintendo Duck Hunt!"

"Don's a worthy target, but I'd rather be Duck hunting!"

"Peter, I'm done with 'catch and release'. It's shooting time!"

Pete: "Hey, this is better than a chip and dip!"

Betty: "So Don's not giving me a penny in the divorce huh? We'll see about that!"

Pete: How about first to get NINE in creative, wins?

Betty takes aim seconds before the opening credits.

It's open season on Donald Duck.

You've finally hit the chip'n'dip Betty.. now how do we explain the damage to Matt Weiner's mom!!

Betty: "Aim and shoot!"

Pete: " I've got a perfect shot from back here."

Sorry Pete, A fainting couch trades for a better shotgun!

Finally, you'll get your freedom and I'll get my promotion!

Pete: "My gun is bigger."

Betty: "I don't know what to say."

Pete: "It's Duck season."

Betty:"No, it's Dick season."

Betty:"Our photo shoot was today..."

Pete:"Shooting this is more fun."

Betty: Pete, you know, I'm glad I found someone who loves nailing Manhattan executives as much as I do...

Pete: "Betty, maybe if you'd spend more time in the kitchen instead of the shooting range..."

Pete: You're about to hit "The Point of No Return"..
Bettie: I prefer "La Femme Nikita".
Pete: One thing's 4 sure: we're not in Venice anymore!

Betty: Tell me again why we won't get quote.. I mean, caught.
Pete: Remember that thing with abundance of information making censorship unnecessary? We have 8 decoys ready to take the blame.. And then we'll kill whomever gets it!
Betty: Now THAT's reassuring..
Pete: Relax sugar, nobody ever blames a beautiful woman. Just think of Don and whatever warm, receptive orrifice he's in right now!

Pete: .. Je n'ai pas encore l'information. Le contact sera visible dans 10 seconds.

Pete: I'm forward thinking, but a lone woman shooter?! Who knew?"

I say Bets! We make a great team.... I drive Don utterly crazy and you put them him out of his misery.

Pete: "Betty, ... Mrs. Draper, you do realize that I am allowing you to win because you are a girl."

Pete to rifle: Please don't leave me alone again.

Don't worry about getting blood stains on your skirt Betty, I have know someone at Bonwitt Teller who will exchange it for a new one.

Pete: After you finish off Trudy I'll take care of Don. You know, we wouldn't have to do this if New York's divorce laws were fair.

Pete, step aside and stop checking out my behind!

Pete: Its my turn now, Betty. I can't believe you couldn't hit Don after 4 shots. Hell, Oswald only took 3 shots.

Pete: " I see Don let you read the Feminine Mystique, eh Betty."

You know, some people are actually suggesting there may have been a second shooter.

So "Let's go shoot the breeze" meant this? Hells Bells!!

Betty, dear, is this being fueled by postpartum depression?

Bets, You've given new meaning to the phrase "advertising game".

Well, Betty dear, I quit when they start shooting back.

I think we've actually improved on Bert's Rothko.

" Oh dear. I do hope these shell casings won't stain the carpet "

" Just like shooting fish-in-a-barrel.... and 'Ducks' ..... and 'Dicks' "

" Got to wonder if these false eyelashes actually 'help' my aim "

" Aim for the John Deere... aim for the John Deere! "

"Meditate on THIS emergency!"

Jeez Bets... you're not supposed to hit the Bottle!

Now that's what I call a 'Lucky Strike'!!

It'll take a basket of bullets to mark my man!

Peter Campbell, you have no idea what I'm aiming at!

Why Betty Draper, who would ever guess you were so vindictive.

Sure beats the hell out of horseback riding.

Puttnam, Powell & Lowe hires Betty to implement the merger layoffs after their buyout of Sterling – Cooper.......

" Okay Don, now..........DANCE...!!! "

Betty, I got this other "Duck" you can shoot too!!!!

" What's wrong, Don? Under enemy fire -- and you with no 'fox holes' to bury yourself into this time, huh? "

Gee Betty, this is better than skeet shooting at the club. Nice shot!

"Season 3? Nailed it."

Woman, stop screwing with my rifle and go back to the kitchen.

Pete, while you took Charleston lessons, I learned to shoot!

it's toasted!

Betty. Your gloves don't match your outfit!!!

Betty, I know you have questionable parenting skills but this...

" What the hey...?!?! Peggy gets an Emmy nomination, and I don't...??? "

Shoot one more partner, Betts, and the company's ours!

Shut up, woman. Get on my horse.

" Don gets an Emmy nomination? Roger gets an Emmy nomination? Even Peggy gets an Emmy nomination. Now its MY 'shot' "

' Don gets an Emmy nomination...? Roger gets an Emmy nomination...? Even Peggy gets an Emmy Nomination.....?!?!?! Well......now it's MY 'shot' '

Pete Cambell: "His name is Dick Whitman."
Betty Draper: "Good. That's what I'm aiming for."

Dick's already dead, Betty. No one will be the wiser.

You know, Betty, if you take out all of Don's clients, it will be hard to get alimony!

" Pete, no Dick jokes while shooting"

Pete: So, Betty, what you're saying is: the more people we shoot, the less competition there will be for my job AND Don's affections?

Betty:
That's right, Pete.

Pete: Ingenious, Betty. Really - it's quite keen.

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