Share Your Favorite Bert Cooper Lines
His managerial style might be unconventional and his penchant for argyle socks a little unexpected, but make no mistake: Bertram Cooper is no pushover. The Sterling Cooper founding partner is simply a tough nut to crack. And it doesn't matter if he's extolling the virtues of his art collection, or threatening a truculent employee, Bert's eternally quotable, too. Tell us your favorite of his lines.
We'll randomly choose one contributor to win a Mad Men poster, a Mad Men Dyna Moe desktop set, or some Mad Men DVDs. Your selection may even end up on the Mad Men website. All submissions should be posted in the comments section below and must include the season and episode from which the quote is taken.
Even if he's not the most popular character in the series, he's full of funny one-liners (like "I just wanted to say... happy birthday," from S02E10). As far as I'm concerned, though, those are just a distraction he puts up to keep people guessing.
So, my favorite quote of his has got to be "Philanthropy is the gateway to power," from S02E07. That quote, just like the conversation he has in the same season with Don Draper about Atlas Shrugged, is the essence of who Bertram Cooper is. He seems like a benign sort of guy, maybe a little buffoonish--but don't be fooled. He's a very powerful man... and an objectivist to boot. It's a dangerous combination.
Season 1 Episode 12 "Nixon vs. Kennedy" ~~
"Who cares?" (replying to Pete's informing him Don Draper is really Dick Whitman)
"You'll agree I know a little something about you." Season 3, "723"
"Eat or be eaten. Kill or be killed. That's the way I was brought up." Season 3 "The Arrangements"
You pour the honey on. Then you lick it off.
Season 3, Episode 8
"The Color Blue"
"I am Kirok!"
Sorry couldn't help it.
Actually, "Fire him if you like. But one never knows how loyalty is born," or words to that effect. Season One, episode 13.
When you hit forty, you realize that you’ve met or seen every kind of person there is, and I know what kind you are because I believe we are alike. - Season 1, The Hobo Code
I like this one because we kind of think of Bert Cooper as this crazy old guy, but he really is very sharp and sees right through Don.
Bertram Cooper: Mr. Crane, focus, please. We didn’t make you head of television just to shorten your attention span.
What a lovely slam: also shows that Bert's generation of ad men disdain television and still revere print.
"So much yarn, so little time."
Season 1, Episode 2, "Ladies Room."
"How did you know I was vain?" season 3 episode 10
(The Color Blue)
"Forgive me for my wild imagination" after being totally wrong about Don's promotion-Season 3 episode 8 (Guy Walks Into An Advertising Agency)
Bert to Don
“Fire him if you want... but I’d watch him closely... you never know how loyalty is born”
Regarding Peter Campbell
Season One – Episode 12, Nixon vs. Kennedy
"You're going to need a stronger stomach if you're going to be back in the kitchen seeing how the sausage is made."
To Don Draper (who is being initiated into the mysteries of Manhattan society).
Seasone One, Episode 4: "New Amsterdam:
"I met him once. He's a bit of an eccentric, isn't he?" - In reference to Conrad Hilton.
Season 3 Episode 7 Seven Twenty Three
Comedic irony at its finest.
"I met him once. He's a bit of an eccentric, isn't he?" - In reference to Conrad Hilton.
Season 3 Episode 7 Seven Twenty Three
Comedic irony at its finest.
"Who cares?"
Season one, episode 12
In Season 1, Episode 10 “Long Weekend”
Bert (to Joan (about Roger [who was in the hospital after having a heart attack from his office romp with one of the twins])): ‘Don’t waste your youth on age.’
"No. Let them open the kimono."
Season 2, Episode 11, The Jet Set
"I just wanted to say Happy Birthday!"
Season2 Episode 10
I love that line!
"After all, when it comes down to it who's really signing this contract anyway?"
From: Seven Twenty Three
Season 3, Episode 7
To a newly off the wagon Duck Philips:
"There he is. There's the man I heard so much about.
Season 2, Episode 10: The Inheritance