A performance like this could make you wonder why we even bothered to have a tournament in the first place: Christine was the number-one overall seed, so right out of the gate we kind of saw it coming. Was there a chance for an upset? A Cinderella story? Well, this girl has been killing peeps since before she rolled off the assembly line, so if there's a glass slipper to be found she ran that shiz over long ago.

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Hail to the King, baby! We've been grinding gears, popping clutches and (insert your favorite automotive reference here) for weeks, and now we're down to the final round. And the same damn horror writer is responsible for both contestants.

Yes, it's Stephen King's Christine vs. Stephen King's Goblin Truck from Maximum Overdrive). Winner take all, hoist the trophy and throw the belt over your shoulder. Or maybe throw the belt in the back seat and move on to more slaughter and destruction.

This round it's speed (Christine) vs. brawn (Herr Goblin). The top seeded Christine dusted the No. 8 Landmaster from Damnation Alley in round one, then killed a second truck when she crushed the 1941 Chevy COE rust-bucket from Jeepers Creepers. Meanwhile, the fourth-seeded Goblin Truck whupped ass on the Land of the Dead RV known as "Dead Reckoning," then in Round 2, upset the second-seeded Stuntman Mike's '69 Charger from Death Proof.

And now it's on to the championship -- and somewhere, Stephen King is laughing that evil laugh of his. Christine, are you ready? Goblin Truck, are you ready? Then let's get it on!

Stuntman Mike's third-seeded '69 Charger from Death Proof, which put a hurting on the 1955 Peterbilt from Duel, is going hood-to-hood with the No. 4-ranked Goblin Truck, that smilin' semi from Maximum Overdrive.

While few would call Maximum Overdrive "good," even fewer would say "Goblin Truck? Never seen it, what the heck are ya talkin' about?" That's because damn near everyone has seen this iconic vehicle, in movie trailers, in clips, on DVD, or (unfortunately) on an actual big screen.

Take a look for yourselves, fight fans. The trailers below give you some solid snippets of each contestant's automotive malice.

Maximum Overdrive theatrical trailer

Death Proof theatrical trailer

Goblin Truck, are you ready? Stuntman Mike-mobile, are you ready? Let's get it on!

In Round 1 we had four matchups featuring cars vs. big-ass trucks. First-seeded Christine demolished the pimped-out RV known as Dead Reckoning. And then the squat, seventh-seeded Chevy COE bested the second-seed, the hot-modded Corvette known as Frankenstein (from Death Race 2000). Don't know what a COE is? Well, Dear Reader, that's the rusted-out crap-bomb that carted around a nasty villain in Jeepers Creepers.

In the semifinal matches, the car vs. truck action continues. Sleek, classic Christine goes head to head with the upset-minded COE in an awesome beauty-and-the-beast match-up.

It's also trailer vs. trailer. No, not truck trailers, movie trailers:

Christine theatrical trailer

Jeepers Creepers theatrical trailer

Christine, are you ready? Creeper COE, are you ready?

In the first round of the Death on Wheels Tournament, three hopeful Cinderellas can go back to mopping floors, because the top just seeds weren't having it.

Christine (No. 1 seed), Stuntman Mike's 1969 Dodge Charger (No. 3 seed) and the Goblin Truck from Maximum Overdrive (No. 4 seed) all followed the script, beating their lower-seeded opponents. The only upset came from the rusty, seventh-seeded 1941 Chevy COE from Jeepers Creepers. The Creeper's crusty ride beat out the No. 2 seed, the modded Corvette known as "Frankenstein" from Death Race 2000.

The Creeper's COE will have to perform an even greater feat of fearless fortitude if it's to win its semifinal match against Christine. Christine, a 1958 Plymouth Fury from the movie of the same name, demolished the eight-seeded Landmaster from Damnation Alley by a vote ratio of seven to one. That's an ass-whoopin', folks, and with good reason -- Christine is arguably the most famous movie car of all time. Oh, and she's a supernatural piece of bad mama-jammaness.

The semifinal matchup between the Goblin Truck and Stuntman Mike's '69 Charger is a different story. Both won their first-round encounters with just over 300 total votes, so they appear to have the same level of fan appeal. Goblin beat up on the Dead Reckoning RV from Land of the Dead (No. 5 seed), while the Charger did the nasty on the 1955 Peterbilt from Duel (No. 6 seed). The Charger, which hails from the flick Death Proof, clearly has the capacity to dust a semi, but will that be enough against the Green Menace?

The answer to that, Dear Reader, is in your hands. Prepare to rumble!

New York Times best-selling author Scott Sigler writes tales of hard-science horror, then gives them away as free audiobooks at www.scottsigler.com. His novel INFECTED was named as Border's #1 mystery, thriller and horror novel for 2008. His next major hardcover horror/thriller ANCESTOR will be out on May 4, 2010.

Don't agree with what Scott says in this blog? Post a note in the comments section below. Include all relevant personal information, such as your address and what times you are not home, so Scott can pay you a surprise visit and show you his world famous "Chicken Scissors."

For my money, any semi with a Green Goblin head is a good semi with a Green Goblin head. But that kind of old-school folk wisdom goes without saying, no? The truck from Stephen King's Maximum Overdrive is clearly a horror movie icon, and racked up quite a body count in the 1986 thriller. That's what lands it the No. 4 seed.

And in the other corner, fifth-seeded and less-iconic "Dead Reckoning" RV from 2005's Land of the Dead. Custom made to destroy zombies, it also has the same impact on non-zombies (aka "pedestrians"). The Goblin is more famous, but Dead Reckoning is armed to the teeth -- if the Goblin had any weapons, maybe it wouldn't have succumbed to Emilio Estevez's rocket launcher.

Time for video clips!
• A Land of the Dead trailer with a few glimpses of Dead Reckoning
• Goblin Truck runs down a dumb-ass

Goblin Truck, are you ready? Dead Reckoning, are you ready? Let's get it on!

Few movie cars muscled their way onto movie screens like Death Proof's molded-from-awesome 1969 Dodge Charger. The car is pure death, hence the title. But is a fast machine that keeps its motor clean a match for a big, bruising heavyweight?

When it comes to pure visual intimidation, it doesn't get better than the massive, rusty, snarling 1955 Peterbilt from 1971's Duel. If Hell had gas stations, the Peterbuilt would be hauling fuel or them. Heavy, fast and loud, it reminds you that force equals mass times velocity. Can it overtake Stuntman Mike's ride and wind up scraping the 1969 Charger out from under the front cow-catcher?

Check out video for both:

It's a Tyrannosaurus Rex-themed car that's called Frankenstein. Do I need any more reasons to make this the No. 2 overall seed? Hell no. This modified Corvette from Death Race 2000 has speed and looks and has dished out more pedestrian death than any other vehicle in the tournament. Look up "vehicular homicide" in the dictionary (if you can still find one) and you'll probably see a picture of this ride.

But vehicular homicide is not the same a homiciding a vehicle (bear with me on the word-play), and Frankenstein is up against a major vehicle in the 1941 Chevy COE from Jeepers Creepers. Rusty, dented, mean and nasty, this thing is a victim-snagging machine that herds people like cattle, slaughterhouse and all. Mass-wise, the COE has the upper hand, but can it match Frankenstein's speed?

Oh, you want to see for yourself? Check out the YouTube videos!
• Death Race 2000 trailer with Frankenstein shots
• Horn-blowing highway scares from Jeepers Creepers

Frankenstein, are you ready? Chevy COE, are you ready? Let's get it on!

One car, the top seed, is the epitome of automotive evil, a body-crunching, flame-licking machine of death. The other is a little-known mobile monstrosity and a serious desert darkhorse in this tournament.

Christine, of course, is an absolute horror classic. Damnation Alley, on the other hand, is the disaster of 1977 disaster films (you can actually see strings moving the rubber "giant" insects in many parts). But while the latter was a box-office train wreck, it did produce a freakin' amazing vehicle known as "The Landmaster." Heavily armored, multi-wheeled, fully aquatic and loaded with rockets and other destructive stuff, The Landmaster is serious competition for Christine.

It's a 1958 Plymouth Fury vs. a custom-built vehicle of death. But don't take my word for it, check out a couple of YouTube clips of each car and judge for yourself:

• Christine's "Bad to the Bone" video
• A trailer for Damnation Alley that shows some of the Landmaster's bad-assery

Christine, are you ready? Landmaster, are you ready? Let's get it on!

A few months back, I wrote a column entitled "Death Drives a Buick: The Top 10 Killer Cars." It was a simple ranking, based on my opinion, but it got me to thinking -- what would happen if these death machines had it out on the open road? Oh, sure, they can kill people (like that's hard... a frickin' doll can do it), but can they kill each other?

That's the question we are going to answer right here and now, my friends. Normally, our tournaments have sixteen contestants, but this time we've limited it to eight. These great eight will duke it out over the two weeks, and the victor will emerge based not on my opinion but on yours. Speak your mind!

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