You know what modern horror needs more of, apart from well-rounded characters, original plots, and Tom Atkins? More dance scenes. I know, that's probably the last thing you were thinking. But horror movies and dance routines go together like peanut butter and pickles, which is to say that the pairing makes no sense, until you experience it and then wonder how you ever lived without it. Each of the following ten movies proves that a dance number -- group or solo -- can make a bad movie worth watching and a great movie greater.

10. Night Train to Terror
This movie makes no sense whatsoever, perhaps because each segment is culled from hacked-up bits of feature films that never saw the light of day. But what it lacks in scares, logic, production values, and anything else associated with professional filmmaking it makes up for with singing and break dancing. See, there's this group on a train with God and Satan, and they keep performing a music video over and over, and then the train explodes, and then it rides the rails into outer space, and then... I said it made no sense -- but there's a lot of breaking.

Continue reading "Stacie Ponder - Bop Till You Drop Dead in These Horror-Dance Spectaculars" »

I encountered the work of Clive Barker as a young lass, when I bought a paperback edition of Books of Blood: Volume 1. The cover had an endorsement from Stephen King, and it's called Books of (freaking) Blood -- so it was a no-brainer purchase. As I dug in, it was apparent that Barker's work was unlike any I'd ever read. Weaving together everyday reality and the supernatural, he hinted at the dark world that co-exists within our own and is separated by a veil that sometimes breaks. It wasn't so much the graphic violence that scandalized me as the S-E-X. Sadomasochism, pleasure, pain: no one I'd read before mixed horror with kink. Barker made King look like R.L. Stine.

A few years after I discovered Barker, Hollywood began adapting his work for the big screen. The results have been mixed, but there are some bona fide classics. When I think of Barker adaptations, these are the ones that come to mind.

1. Hellraiser
Who could have guessed that this gory picture would spawn a horror-franchise juggernaut? Pinhead and his leather-clad cenobite cronies have appeared in over eight movies, set everywhere between hell and outer space. Unhappy with previous adaptations of his work, Barker directed the first installment, in which the flesh is weak and erotic desire drives human behavior. The follow-ups have been uneven, but the original is a perennial.

Continue reading "Stacie Ponder - Step Right Up! The Five Quintessential Clive Barker Freak Shows" »

The slasher movies of the late '70s introduced a character type now known as the Final Girl. Instead of passing out at the sight of a monster, she kicked the creature's ass. The stalker heyday has come and gone, but Final Girls remain bloodied reminders that women can be heroes, too. On the flip side, however, ladies still have a long way to go. The "flip side," of course, is the side with the bad guys. Let's face it: horror franchises belong to the men: Freddy, Jason, Michael -- even Jaws is a dude! If asked to rattle off ten great female monsters and villains, you'd be stumped. Don't worry. I'm not gonna ask. In fact, I made a list for you.

10. Jennifer Check (Megan Fox), Jennifer's Body
Jennifer is the ultimate high-school mean girl: she's pretty, she's quick with a cutting remark, and she's got a demon inside her. While drinking the blood of your fellow students may not be the best way to ensure popularity, "But teacher, I've become a succubus!" is a pretty sweet excuse to get out of gym class.

Continue reading "Stacie Ponder - From She-Creatures to Just Plain Shes, the Top Ten Villainesses of Horror" »

The Internet has brought out the best in the horror movie community, and by "brought out the best," I of course mean, "given us a platform on which to argue incessantly." Film nerds are generally a passionate bunch, but horror film nerds take it to the next level: We eat, drink and sleep the scary stuff. We watch the movies, wear the T-shirts, frame the posters, display the toys and attend the conventions. Horror isn't just a hobby -- it's a lifestyle.

So it goes without saying that horror fans have strong opinions about everything genre related, and folks sure do love a good debatin'. One of the more persistent arguments of recent the years concerns the nature of the zombie movie. What makes a "true" zombie -- "true" in this case meaning Romero-esque, not folkloric voodoo zombies. First and foremost, I think they need to be reanimated dead people: No matter what brings you back or what you do after you return, you gotta die to be a zombie. Which leaves a slew of zombie-flavored movies missing that critical feature. This doesn't mean there's no place in my heart for the "not zombie" -- only that it doesn't have a proper name.

Are you confused? Don't be: Here are ten "not-zombie" movies worth your time... OK, it's nine worth your time and one merely worth mentioning, but the point is that after you've seen them, you'll understand.

Planet Terror (2007)
If I were one of those critics who wants nothing more than to see words on movie posters, I might call Planet Terror a "gooey, rollicking, frighteningly good time!" And trite and quote-whorish as it may sound, that's a good way to describe the Robert Rodriguez half of Grindhouse. A biological weapon (in the form of a green gas, natch) is released into the air; pus-oozing, flesh-eating humans ensue. Who cares if they're not undead when their antics are such gory, colorful fun?

Continue reading "Stacie Ponder - Are They Zombie Movies? Not Quite! Are They Killer? Yes" »

As you know, one of my Slice to Meet You goals is to introduce readers to lesser-known horror movies they may just end up liking. I consider this one of life's noble missions and -- not to boast -- it makes me feel a bit like a horror-flavored Mother Teresa.

That said, sometimes recommending stuff is difficult: While I may think a movie is the greatest thing in the history of ever, there's a chance that someone else may not find it so. From what I understand of science, this is because people have different "tastes" and "opinions." So I use a lot of math equations before suggesting somebody check out a particular flick. Will it be too gory? Not gory enough? What's the ratio of bare boobs to clothed boobs, and will that number fall within the potential viewer's acceptable limits? The whole thing can be stressful. But if I know a friend has enjoyed a particular horror movie, I can easily recommend a similar one he or she will most likely dig. In other words, it can be easy!

Continue reading "Stacie Ponder - Like Pandorum? Try Event Horizon! Like Friday the 13th? Try Hatchet!" »

H.P. Lovecraft published more than 60 short stories and novellas between 1916 and 1937, works that so defied categorization they required a new adjective -- Lovecraftian. His stories deal with horrors beyond human comprehension, products of a universe so mind-blowingly unknowable that... well, they blow human minds. This is particularly true of the forbidden knowledge Lovecraft explored in his Cthulhu Mythos, about age-old gods who exist just outside our dimension; next to their enormity and power, man is an insignificant speck, and those who challenge this notion should anticipate nothing but death and insanity.

Lovecraft influenced many of horror's best-known names, from Stephen King to John Carpenter, and is well-loved by genre fans. But his cerebral themes and wildly imaginative creations haven't much made for successful movies: It's tough to portray seething, amorphous horrors the author himself can't describe. That said, a few daring directors have tried.

5. Call of Cthulhu (2005)
This short black-and-white feature eschews most modern filmmaking techniques for silent-era simplicity; the result is a remarkable work that avoids most of the pitfalls encountered when bringing Lovecraft's work to the screen. The fantastic world of the Elder Gods is created using stop-motion animation, forced perspective and other fundamental trickery, while expressionist set design and lighting capture the dream-like mood of the original story.

Continue reading "Stacie Ponder - Five Freaky Flicks From H.P. Lovecraft" »

Among my favorite horror sub-genres is the one I affectionately call "animals run amok," movies that pit man against beast in a battle to the death. I don't care whether the beasts are domesticated or wild, regular or super-sized, attacking en masse or solo. The point is, animals get fed up with our crap and they fight back, which I find very entertaining. I'm sure this says something about me, but I'm not a psychologist, just a humble horror blogger.

As fears of nuclear war grew during the 1950s, so did horror-movie animals: In Them! (1954), for example radiation poisoning doesn't make for a slow, painful death -- it makes for gigantic ants who hate us. By the genre's '70s heyday, environmental concerns came to the fore: Overuse of pesticides and hairspray anger Mother Nature, who sics her babies on mankind. After the mauling and bloodshed, the lesson: Be kind to the earth and its inhabitants, because nature will kick your butt. Here are ten of the best movies featuring man as the underdog.

10. Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009)
This direct-to-DVD thriller features bad-to-middling CGI, laughable dialogue and a nonsensical plot. But really, I don't care when it also features Lorenzo Lamas and Debbie Gibson battling the mega shark and giant octopus, who are battling each other. Who will win? We all will.

Continue reading "Stacie Ponder - Jaws Bites, The Birds Peck. When Animals Run Amok, Man Loses" »

Because I write about horror movies here at AMCtv.com, you've undoubtedly come to two assumptions about me: One, that I love horror movies and two, that I am a fashion plate who keeps up with all the latest trends. While I'd like to maintain an air of mystery about my life, I'll say this much -- one of those statements is true! OK, fine. The shocking truth is, I'm not very fashionable at all. However, this does not stop me from judging the denizens of the countless horror flicks I watch and deciding what's hot and what's not -- and what are opinions for if not for sharing? Read on to find out who's a scary style maven and who needs a makeover.

HOT

Dracula
Perhaps it's his noble breeding that accounts for his couture wardrobe. Whether portrayed by Bela Lugosi, Christopher Lee, Frank Langella or Gary Oldman, the dude simply never dresses down! No casual jeans or T-shirts for Dracula: He's always dressed to the nines in flouncy shirts, sleek slacks, capes and the occasional fancy medallion. His hair is perfectly coiffed and his fangs are shiny white, except when they're covered in blood. Why, I'll bet that even in wolf form, he doesn't smell bad. The King of the Vampires is proof that that just because you bite people and suck the life out of them to extend your own beyond its natural limits doesn't mean you can't look good.

Continue reading "Stacie Ponder - Dressed for Success? Which Horror Movie Villains Have the Hottest Styles" »

Complaining about the Oscars is one of my favorite pass times, and my biggest complaint is that my favorite genre is usually shut out of the entire process.

But the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Science just made up for past transgressions -- even the shunning of 2002's Shark Attack 3: Megalodon -- by awarding Roger Corman an honorary Oscar. Yep, the man who helped spawn Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold has one of the golden statues bestowed upon the best of the best. This may seem at odds with Corman's B-movie rep, but remember: Honorary Oscars recognize lifetime achievement, including impact on the movie industry.

Now, perhaps you're one of the converted and you're thinking, "I need to satisfy my Corman cravings now." You're in luck, my friends: there are four Roger Corman movies streaming right here at AMCTV.com for free. Free, but for some mouse-clicking -- so get your Corman on! The goodies are:

The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent (1957): Can you guess what it's about -- the title may be a little hint!

Rock All Night (1957): Escaped killers head to teen hangout Cloud Nine and take everyone hostage. Did I mention the thug named Jigger is played by Russell Johnson, Gilligan's Island's Professor?

The Undead (1957): Scientists hypnotize a prostitute who was a witch in a past life. This broad can't catch a break!

Teenage Caveman (1958): Cave-teen Robert Vaugh faces problems not at all unlike those confronting modern teenagers: jerky adults, forbidden fruit, rules, regulations, giant lizards, etc... so what are you waiting for? Get your Corman on!

Now, Corman did his share of writing and directing, but his output as producer -- nearly 400 movies -- is mind-blowing. Sure, he demanded fast, cheap work, but Corman took chances on young moviemakers, from Martin Scorsese to James Cameron, and regularly gave female producers, writers and directors a shot. Corman has tackled every genre and at 83 he's still going strong. It's hard to pick a handful of movies from this cornucopia, but here are ten must-sees.

10.) The Fantastic Four (1994)
Before Sam Raimi brought Spider-Man to the big screen, comic book heroes languished in the world of cheapo live-action adaptations. This one stands out as the best worst of the worst: See the Invisible Girl, Mr. Fantastic, The Thing and The Human Torch without the aid of CGI! Yes, there are gloriously hokey special effects as far as the eye can see, but don't worry -- there's also atrocious dialogue as far as the ear can hear. It's tough to come by a copy of this commercially unreleased, so-earnest-you'll-smile crapsterpiece, but it's so worth the search.

Continue reading "Stacie Ponder - All Hail Roger Corman, King of the Bs! " »

Like beauty and comedy, scary is in the eye of the beholder: What leaves me sleepless and wringing my hands in fear may have you rolling on the floor in hysterics. I won't understand why you don't think some movie is scary. You'll wonder why I'm such a wimp. We'll inevitably engage in fisticuffs before realizing that everyone's taste is different and that's probably a good thing -- variety is the spice of genre, right?

Still, I think there are some monsters and killers that are... well, just plain dumb, there can't possibly be anyone on the planet who actually finds them scary. I've written at length about slasher-movie psychos, including a piece on what makes a good mask. As someone who grew up fearing the likes of Jason, Freddy, and Michael, I know these guys can be the stuff of nightmares. I also know these guys can be laughing stocks: I've seen the movies listed below. No panache, no real desire to make an impression on the audience... most of these killers don't even have names!

Continue reading "Stacie Ponder - Uncle Sam? Jack Frost? The Ten Lamest Movie Monsters" »