OK, now that everyone's seen Drag Me to Hell at least twice (if only to figure out why there was an anvil hanging from the ceiling of a suburban garage), we can return to business, namely sitting in judgment of the talented, the hacks, the money-grubbers and the artistes. There's something for everyone this week, as you'll soon discover.

The Good
Rank		Movie
1		Phantasm II Unavailable for home viewing for twenty years, Don Coscarelli's bizarre masterpiece of a series can be experienced anytime and anywhere. Yay!
2		Nightbreed I have a soft spot for Clive Barker 's movie about a secret town of monsters. Now it turns out there's a work print with 45 extra minutes of footage...a DVD release is in development.
3		The Real Exorcist Points for trying: Vertigo Entertainment is making a movie based on the (allegedly) true story that inspired The Exorcist... wait, didn't I see that on Showtime nine years ago as Possessed?
4		Jonah Hex Attention teen boys: Megan Fox has signed on as a "no-nonsense" prostitute with a gun. And that's a step up for America's nerd crush, last seen dry-humping a motorcycle in the Transformers 2 trailer.
5		Scream 4 The Weinsteins wanted Wes Craven to direct what sounds like a shot-for-shot remake with the original cast in their original roles. Craven just said no -- interesting, in light of this week's -5.

Continue reading "The Good, The Bad and The Scary - June 15, 2009" »

Yes, this is a column about upcoming horror movies, not movies currently in theaters. But I owe Sam Raimi a personal apology: I saw the trailer for his new movie and thought it was going to be horrible. But you know what, Sam? You did good and I'm man enough to admit when I'm wrong. I have no choice but to use my number one spot this week to honor one of the best horror movies in years.

The Good
Rank		Movie
1		Drag Me to Hell I have never been happier to be so very, very wrong. Thank you, Mr. Raimi, for scaring my socks off.
2		Black Death Sean Bean will star in this medieval zombie movie set against the backdrop of the bubonic plague. And it's by Severance director Chris Smith, so it could be darkly hilarious!
3		[Rec] 2 The trailer is available for the follow-up to hit Spanish horror pic [REC]. It looks like more of the same, but the same of something good. And there's more weirdly exciting news about this franchise... (see item 5)
4		Alien Prequel I'm still piqued that they fooled me into thinking Ridley Scott was directing (he's executive producer). Now the word is that it will be a prequel, not a remake, reboot, relaunch or sequel... which is good. I guess.
5		Quarantine 2 Quarantine was a near shot-for-shot remake of [REC], but Screen Gems wants a completely new direction for the sequel. Shocker! What that direction is remains to be seen, but points for trying something new.

Continue reading "The Good, The Bad and The Scary - June 8, 2009" »

Does Hollywood just not get the point of horror movies? They buy scripts about serial killers and demonic infestation, then push and push the filmmakers for PG-13 rated cuts. Sure, that makes good economic sense: The biggest potential audience for a horror flick is, after all, teenagers. But we go to them for blood and guts. And, of course, nudity. Well, it looks like we might just get what we want this week...

The Good
Rank		Movie
1		A Nightmare on Elm Street The casting call is out and actresses are wanted -- must be willing to appear topless. Part of me just cringes, but it does mean one good thing: The remake will be rated R, so it might even be scary.
2		Dead Snow The Norwegian Nazi Zombies vs. Ski Bunnies movie is finally coming to the U.S., thanks to IFC. It opens in theaters June 19, then quickly goes to TV. Pardon me while I giggle delightedly in a corner for a while.
3		Drag Me to Hell I thought the trailer looked silly. You said it was Sam Raimi, so give it a break. Well, we were both right. Reviews say it's an utterly dumb, light-on-plot splatterfest with a bunch of honest scares. Cool.
4		H2 The first clip for Rob Zombie's remake is up and it's pure horror adrenaline as Michael Myers stalks Laurie Strode through a rain storm. Zombie also says it has zero to do with Halloween II, so all bets are off.
5		The Final Destination Its August release date, at the end of the summer season, means one of two things: Either they think it's good enough to compete with the blockbusters, or they don't want to go up against H2 and Saw VI  in October.

Continue reading "The Good, The Bad and The Scary - June 1, 2009" »

If there's one place where innovation, fresh new ideas and risk-taking are encouraged and even rewarded, well, it isn't Hollywood. Studios like the tried and true -- it makes more economic sense to produce mediocre sequels and knock offs guaranteed to perform than to back something truly original and hope it finds an audience. But among this week's remakes and reboots are some new projects that would be perfect for some eccentric-but-brilliant director.

The Good
Rank		Movie
1		Ghostbusters 3 It took years, but it's happening: The entire original cast will return, including Sigourney Weaver and Rick Moranis. How big their roles wil be remains to be seen, as the plot revolves around ghostbusters-in-training. But I'm still excited!
2		A Nightmare on Elm Street Filming has started, including the first scene with Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy. Reports from the set suggest he's playing it straight and intense. No one-liners, no joking around, just sheer psychological horror. I'm biting my nails already.
3		Helter Skelter The story of Charles Manson's summer of madness has been told before, but never on a big budget and never by someone like Oliver Stone. If anybody can capture the bad-trip freakiness this material demands, it's the man who made The Doors.
4		Drag Me to Hell I've been hard on this film because my expectations of Raimi are high, but five new clips have been released, and they look good. Maybe I was misled by the really bad trailer... I'm not 100% sold, but I'll give it a chance.
5		Grimm A horror movie based on fairy tales starring Bruce Willis... sounds like a recipe for a stinkbomb. But the long and detailed synopsis suggests a light and atmospheric approach, which might just be enough to win me over.

Continue reading "The Good, The Bad and The Scary - May 25, 2009" »

Hollywood loves blaming the economy for good movies that don't get made. But who's at fault when they remake movies that were crummy to start with, or greenlight ideas no one over the age of 12 could possibly take seriously? Let's start with the good, though this week it's a relative term. A few of these really belong after the jump, but I'm feeling generous...

The Good
Rank		Movie
1		The Road The trailer is a doozy; the movie looks like a pretty faithful adaptation of the most depressing book I've read in years... which I couldn't put down for the eighteen hours it took me to finish it. One to keep an eye on.
2		A Nightmare on Elm Street Photos have surfaced of Illinois' Elk Grove High, which will be used in the remake, and it looks exactly like the one I went to. For a movie I'm looking forward to on purely nostalgic grounds, they're hitting the right notes.
3		Jekyll and Hyde No, not the Keanu Reeves one: That's Jekyll. This is Abel Ferrara's take, with Forest Whitaker and 50 Cent. It makes me smile to put those names in one sentence, so it gets the benefit of the doubt for now.
4		Silent Hill 2 Christophe Gans won't be at the helm and who knows whether Radha Mitchell is returning. But it looks like Roger Avary, who wrote the original, will direct... if we're nice to him. At least they're keeping it in the family.
5		Fright Night Another remake of a 1980s movie you remember kind of liking, but don't panic. It will still be a horror comedy, the premise is intact and it may not even happen: No director or writer is attached. Maybe that's for the best.

Continue reading "The Good, The Bad and The Scary - May 18, 2009" »

The economy sucks and everyone's feeling the pinch -- even Hollywood isn't immune. This week brought some bad news about projects that had possibilities, but the outlook isn't totally crummy: A decent sequel is always welcome, as is horror news from the Left Coast's It Guy. So on to the good...

The Good
Rank		Movie
1		A Nightmare on Elm Street The casting keeps getting better: The latest addition is veteran actor Clancy Brown, who stole the show as Frankenstein's monster in The Bride. I'll see this just for him, assuming he has more than a cameo.
2		H2 A leaked plot synopsis indicates we're in for some surprises, including an "unlikely hero." Web buzz trends to thinking that means Laurie Strode... but how is she "unlikely?" I can't wait to find out who it really is.
3		[REC] 2 Claustrophobic Spanish zombie shocker [REC] was remade as Quarantine, one of my 2008 favorites. Now it's getting a sequel in its native land, due to open October 9. Watch either version: They're both good.
4		The Dark Tower It's probably inevitable that Stephen King's sprawling epic would get the feature-film treatment, weak economy be damned. But can it be done right? J.J. Abrams says he's up for the job, so it has a chance.
5		Drag Me to Hell Sam Raimi's return to horror barely squeaks into the good column. The trailer looks ridiculous, but two new TV spots suggest it might be ridiculously fun. Emphasis on might. This one's still on probation.

Continue reading "The Good, The Bad and The Scary - May 11, 2009" »

Some weeks this column might as well be called "The Bad and the Worse." Then there are weeks like this one, when the good news is actually pretty good -- honestly, there was more than I could fit into five slots. Two great franchises are reborn, two foreign films get American makeovers, and a director I slammed last week redirects himself. Impressive, Hollywood! You're still on Double Secret Probation, but keep up the good work!

The Good
Rank		Movie
1		Alien Prequel Ridley Scott says he's on board for a new Alien film, which should send a little shiver down the spines of everyone who reads this column. The producers are excited; apparently they were going to make it with or without him, but with is definitely better.
2		Livid Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo (Inside), who are at the forefront of the new please-don't-call-it-torture-porn movement, are working on this spooky old house movie. It might not involve young women getting tortured to death... and if it does, at least it'll be classy.
3		Cold Skin David Slade (30 Days of Night) will be using some of that Eclipse money (see last week's -5 slot) to make this creepy, atmospheric horror movie with nary a vampire anywhere. Since "atmospheric" usually equals "has a brain," I'm willing to forgive him.
4		Phone The fact that it's a K-Horror remake is scaring away bloggers, but Ahn Byung-Ki's story of a haunted phone number (yes, really) was a solid piece of spookiness. And since he's directing the do-over himself, it shouldn't be dismissed -- let's at least wait for a trailer.
5		Predators "Remake" is officially a dirty word, so enter the "reboot." Robert Rodriguez, who makes good movies for kids and even better ones for adults, is set for this new entry in the much-loved franchise and promises there will be no hybrid "predaliens" or spy kids.

Continue reading "The Good and The Bad - May 4, 2009" »

This week the horror-verse is abuzz about casting: Bizarre casting, intriguing casting and righteous casting in the form of a star willing to stand up for a franchise. Not to mention the first sign of the apocalypse: A Stephen King movie can't attract financing. All this and more in this week's The Good and The Bad... speaking of which, I really want to hear suggestions for new names for this column. Speak up, please! I'd take it as a personal favor.

Think our rankings are off base, out of touch or hopelessly lame? Speak up here!

The Good
Rank		Movie
1		Seventh Moon Blair Witch Project co-director Eduardo Sanchez returns to horror with this story of tourists in China running afoul of the "Hungry Ghosts" festival. The trailer looks great and early reviews are positive.
2		A Nightmare on Elm Street "Remake" is a dirty word, these days and rightly so. But the Nightmare casting is encouraging: Fresh-faced girl-next-door Rooney Mara (Urban Legends: Bloody Mary) has signed as Nancy and just might be perfect.
3		Bubba Nosferatu We recently reported the bold choice to cast Ron Perlman in the Bubba Ho-Tep sequel (even he can't figure out why he should be Elvis). How to up the ante? Try Paul Giamatti as Col. Tom Parker -- that's chutzpah!
4		H2 The trailer raises more questions than it answers, but it seems Rob Zombie is both taking his cue from the original sequels and laying claim to the follow-up to his remake. My head hurts, but maybe in a good way.
5		Hellboy 3 Guillermo del Toro is booked for the next five years, but Universal wants another Hellboy sequel. Kudos to Ron Perlman, who stood up and said he he won't do it unless del Toro at least writes the screenplay.

Continue reading "The Good and The Bad - April 27, 2009" »

Cannibals and Nazis and development hell, oh my!  This week: A welcome cameo, a comic-book movie that makes sense and some terrible ideas that promise to become expensive mistakes. Movies I'm looking forward to come first, followed by snarky sarcasm. If you're considering going straight to the snark, you're among friends.

Think our rankings are off base, out of touch or hopelessly lame? Speak up here!

The Good
Rank		Movie
1		I, Frankenstein Underworld co-creator Kevin Grevioux is developing his comic, which puts classic movie monsters in film noir settings, for the big screen. There's nothing about this premise I don't love... think Van Helsing done right.
2		Dead Snow Jaws have been dropping at the nazi-zombies-attack-ski-lodge trailer for months. Circle June 12 on your calendar: That's when IFC puts the Norwegian shocker into limited release. All together now: Ein! Zwei! Die!
3		Offspring The third movie adapted from a novel by horror master Jack Ketchum, and the first to feature a Ketchum screenplay. Since The Lost and The Girl Next Door were pretty good, hopes are high for this one.
4		The Crazies Hooray! Original cast member Lynn Lowry (Shivers, Cat People, I Drink Your Blood) has a cameo in the remake of George Romero's 1973 movie. It may not be his best, but those who like it, love it.
5		Wrong Turn 3 DVD sequels don't usually merit prime placement, but substituting escaped cons for teeny-bopper victims is inspired. Who's worse: Inbred, backwoods cannibals or fugitive felons? Tough call, which is kind of cool.

And now, the bad news...

Continue reading "The Good and The Bad - April 20, 2009" »

This week, we're putting the Power Ranking aside. There was just such a divide between the top five and the bottom five that they didn't look right all together in the same list. So instead we're doing things a bit differently this time around. Up front: The good stuff, the movies we're actually looking forward to. After the jump: The bottom of the barrel... if you've got the stomach for it.

Think our rankings are off base, out of touch or hopelessly lame? Speak up here!

The Good
Rank		Movie
1		The Burrowers Lionsgate paid for this atmospheric horror Western by director J.T. Petty (Soft for Digging), then shoehorned it into a lackluster DVD-only release. That should be bad, right? Wrong: It turns out the movie is so great it's getting glowing reviews and major press online.
2		A Nightmare on Elm Street If you have to remake a classic horror flick from the '80s, why not one that would benefit from new cinematic technologies? The people behind this re-do aren't stinting on human resources either. The new Freddy? Jackie Earle Haley (Watchmen). I can totally see it.
3		Halloween 2 This one's growing on us. It may or may not have a new title; everyone online is still calling it H2. It's still getting lots of silly press. But you know what? All the hoopla is working -- I'm starting to look forward to seeing Rob Zombie's latest. The guy makes entertaining movies, and he's definitely a friend to the fans.
4		Ghostbusters 3 Initial reports that this sequel would send the team and their proton packs to Hell were apparently false, so turn off your spoiler alarms. The good news? The entire original cast is coming back -- including Rick Moranis. Bring back my teen crush Annie Potts and I'll see it twice.
5		Hellraiser April 21 sees a new DVD-set release of the first two movies in the series (the good ones), including the original on Blu-Ray. The best part? They're packaged in a replica of the puzzle box from the movies. Bonus points if you were about to comment and tell me it's really called the Lament Configuration.

Continue reading "The Good and The Bad - April 13, 2009" »