Scott Sigler - Dumb Dudes Die While Leading Ladies Live... Ah, the Sexism of Horror
When I mention the trite phrase that horror movies are horribly sexist, I bet some female readers of this column shout an instant, fist-pumping "Preach on!" When I clarify that horror movies are horribly sexist against men, that's when those same ladies decide that this preacher actually spews misogynistic lies. The prevailing belief is that horror flicks are sexist and that the targets are women. But if you do the basic math, the sexism is against men.
Let's look at this from a scientific perspective, and by "scientific" I mean in light of the theories of that early legend of science, Charles Darwin. Maybe you've heard of him? He's the guy who coined that pesky phrase "survival of the fittest." If only the fittest survive, and most horror movies feature a "final girl," then what does that say about the genre's stance on men? Or let's go at this issue another way: Do you actually think horror movies portray females as weak? Tell that to Halloween's Laurie Strode. Tell that to Scream's Sidney Prescott.
The winner of any fight is the one left standing -- no one cares how you survive, as long as you do. If that survival comes wrapped in screaming, crying, pleading, more crying, running, a little more screaming, tripping, not being able to put the car keys in the lock and then finally sticking a knife in a bad guy? Yeah, you still won. So I don't care how "weak" a final girl may look, if she's the one who walks away, she's the survivor and therefore the fittest.
You think me a crazy pusher of conspiracy theories? You think I'm reading too much into the harmless escapism of horror movies? Try this list of final girl flicks on for size, man-haters:
• The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
• Alien, Aliens, Alien Resurrection and Alien vs. Predator
• The original Halloween, and most of the subsequent series
• Friday the 13th, entire series
• A Nightmare on Elm Street, most of the series
• Scream, entire series
Notice any classics in there? Any movies that defined the genre? Yeah, that's right, every one of them.
Political Forces at Play: Agents of F.E.M.A.L.
This kind of subversive culture-jacking doesn't just happen on its own. I mean, come on: Do you really think people are just making the movies they want to make? Hell no! There's always a secretive agenda out there. Some say these agendas are established by "the man," but this column reveals the hidden truth: The agendas are really meant to hold the man down. The culprits in this blatant anti-male sexism are members of the Feminist Empowerment Movie Advancement Lobby, or F.E.M.A.L., a covert organization bent on pushing their philosophical beliefs on Hollywood. This lobby also pushes the agenda of stupid men in TV commercials, in which women are always the smart, savvy managers of home and business, while men are bumbling idiots who can't grab their own asses with both hands.
The Villain? A Man.
In all of the "final girl" movies, except for the first Friday the 13th, the slasher is a man. No, I'm not counting Urban Legend, because that movie sucked like a turbo-charged Dyson. In final girl movies, not only is the villain a man, but he's killed by the final girl. Remember that whole survival of the fittest thing? Yeah. Like that. Hollywood is full of man-hating sexist pigs.
Who Fails to Defeat Evil? A Man.
In all the slasher flicks, there's a manly-man archetype: Macho, studly, occasionally dresses in a wife-beater to show off his guns. These muscular dudes in the prime of their lives go head-to-head with the slasher, and they get slaughtered. This is done to show us that the villain is truly a bad-ass, so bad, in fact, that no mere man could defeat him.
Who Defeats Evil? A Woman.
Why? Because F.E.M.A.L. is out to show you that brawn can't win. Only brains can win, and only women have brains. Do the women find a solution where the brute-force men have failed? They do. And don't you think that says something? You can only disagree if you're a blind sheep in the flock known as "status quo."
But All the Women Are Really Pretty! How Sexist!
Yes, and the men who play horror-movie roles are always so damned ugly. You know, Johnny Depp, Michael Biehn, Kevin Bacon, Laurence Fishburne, Josh Hartnett, etc. Could it possible that producers hire beautiful people in general? F.E.M.A.L. wants you to believe otherwise. In fact, if you look at the final girl in all of these movies, she's usually the chaste, quiet, mousy one. That girl survives while all those hoochie-mamas buy the farm. Feminist empowerment indeed: F.E.M.A.L. is so hell-bent on agenda implementation, it doesn't just make sure those idiot men get what's coming to them -- it also makes an example of women who fail to conform to their specific definition of what a woman "should" be. Now that is evil personified!
The Victims
Let's face it -- there ain't a lot of discrimination in horror flicks when it comes to victims. Male or female, black or white, liberal or conservative... all y'all's asses are on the chopping block.
Don't Be Fooled
This is a battle for the hearts and minds, people. It's all part of the sexist Hollywood agenda to keep the man down. Don't trust those rants you hear about how horror movies degrade and disempower women, because by objective Darwinism principles, the genre is all about women. Unless, of course, you don't trust Darwin ... because he's a man.
New York Times best-selling author Scott Sigler writes tales of hard-science horror, then gives them away as free audiobooks at www.scottsigler.com. His novel INFECTED was named as Border's #1 mystery, thriller and horror novel for 2008. His next major hardcover horror/thriller ANCESTOR will be out on May 4, 2010.
Don't agree with what Scott says in this blog? Post a note in the comments section below. Include all relevant personal information, such as your address and what times you are not home, so Scott can pay you a surprise visit and show you his world famous "Chicken Scissors."
Well, yeah, why do you think I like horror movies so much? Final girls rule!
You just had to spill the beans.. didn't you Scott. Now the Agents of F.E.M.A.L will make you wish you were one of the Characters from your stories, and not the good guys who died clean either.. I'll Miss you man
Aline: Are you one of >i>them? A member of F.E.M.A.L.? Not to be trusted!
Jtindie: Sometimes a person has to stand up for what's right, regardless of the consequences.
Aline: Are you one of >i>them? A member of F.E.M.A.L.? Not to be trusted!
Jtindie: Sometimes a person has to stand up for what's right, regardless of the consequences.
Aline: Are you one of >i>them? A member of F.E.M.A.L.? Not to be trusted!
Jtindie: Sometimes a person has to stand up for what's right, regardless of the consequences.
Aline: Are you one of >i>them? A member of F.E.M.A.L.? Not to be trusted!
Jtindie: Sometimes a person has to stand up for what's right, regardless of the consequences.
It's also gotta be men hating ugly women, cause the sluts are always the peeps who perish first.
I'm just saying, not hating.
It's also gotta be men hating ugly women, cause the sluts are always the peeps who perish first.
I'm just saying, not hating.
Well, yes -- there is obviously a conspiracy. You got us on the TV commercials and, in case you didn't notice most of the sit-com TV dads are also dolts.
I was thinking back to whether some of the oldies (but goodies) conformed, like the original "Psycho."
Villain - Man dressed as a woman
First Killed - Janet Leigh (Marion) character who had just embezzled $$ so she could run off with the guy whe was doing. Naughty girl got what was coming to her.
Survives - Marion's sister, Lila
Defeats Evil: Lila and Sam (the aforementioned boyfriend)
I guess the oldies still had a guy finally defeating evil, but also saved the pretty (chaste) girl at the end. Wonder when F.E.M.A.L. decided that we didn't need a guy to be the rescuer?
Final girls rule!
I totally agree that now-a-days, girls rule :)
Okay, if final girls rule, there's still the obligatory screaming half-naked girl who eats it at the beginning. Normally while screaming and twisting an ankle.
She might be the sacrificial bait… maybe F.E.M.A.L. has to serve one up to protect the team.
What's up with that?
Apologies for the over-long response old bean, just thought I'd clear up a point or two ...
> Let's look at this from a scientific perspective, and by "scientific" I mean in light of the theories of that early legend of science, Charles Darwin. Maybe you've heard of him? He's the guy who coined that pesky phrase "survival of the fittest."
- No, he did not. Often attributed to him, that quote is a contemporary press simplification of his theory.
>If only the fittest survive, and most horror movies feature a "final girl," then what does that say about the genre's stance on men?
- That is made by men. To apply the Mur Lafferty 'one-penis-per-fantasy' theory of fantasy lesbians, the guys who like horror flicks want to watch the teenstar running in her underwear, not her affable-forgetable male love interest - but more on that story later.
> Or let's go at this issue another way: Do you actually think horror movies portray females as weak? Tell that to Halloween's Laurie Strode. Tell that to Scream's Sidney Prescott. The winner of any fight is the one left standing -- no one cares how you survive, as long as you do. If that survival comes wrapped in screaming, crying, pleading, more crying, running, a little more screaming, tripping, not being able to put the car keys in the lock and then finally sticking a knife in a bad guy? Yeah, you still won. So I don't care how "weak" a final girl may look, if she's the one who walks away, she's the survivor and therefore the fittest.
-Indeed; survivor. When film features a male protagonist, he is not a survivor - he is a victor. Male protagonists do not suceed unless they themselves survie and are in victorious in saving other characters, including his love interest, by not only defending themselves in extremity, as a 'last girl' does, but turning the tables on their attacker, becoming instantly weapons proficient and getting the girl. It does matter how well you survive. Laurie and Sidney either could not save their love interests or were not allowed to have one - but more on that story later.
eg:
• Shaun of the Dead
• Phone Booth
• Snakes on a Plane
• District 9
• Hot Fuzz
• The Mummy
Notice how these could classified also as action movies? Yeah; horror is a girl getting chased, action-horror is a boy getting to live out his zombie apocalypse plan.
>Political Forces at Play: Agents of F.E.M.A.L.
-Yes, those dashed women who, despite these films not being aimed at their demographic, not being approved of by many women's right lobbies, are secretly running Hollywood. Dash them.
>This lobby also pushes the agenda of stupid men in TV commercials, in which women are always the smart, savvy managers of home and business, while men are bumbling idiots who can't grab their own asses with both hands.
-Expectations, in horror as well as comedy, old chap - made to be broken. It is 'funny' to have a smart woman in tv commercials in short form, whereas it is inverted in sitcom form where they serve to opposing influence of being the requisite 'straight man' (pun totally intended); Marge in Simpsons, Lois in Family Guy - they get to be funny, but don't get the memorable lines and whacky adventures of their co-stars that make their series popular.
>The Villain? A Man.
In all of the "final girl" movies, except for the first Friday the 13th, the slasher is a man.
-Which criminal demographics, in scientific method, agrees with. Most murderers are men - the vast majority of serial killers, specific sociopathy of the horror genre - are men.
> No, I'm not counting Urban Legend, because that movie sucked like a turbo-charged Dyson.
- Yes it did.
>In final girl movies, not only is the villain a man, but he's killed by the final girl. Remember that whole survival of the fittest thing? Yeah. Like that. Hollywood is full of man-hating sexist pigs.
- Killed by the girl because it is unexpected - expectations as in horror as in comedy. The whole film is about other girls getting stabbed - the 'surprise' is that one of them finally wins.
>Who Fails to Defeat Evil? A Man.
-Expectations, yes? Also - the girl is the focus of the killers intentions, the manly man dying usually in the carnage trying to defend her.
> Who Defeats Evil? A Woman.
- Yes, in extremity. And usually bearing the emotional shellshock congruent with seeing everyone you know getting slaughtered. A guy wins by a generous margin, and with cool end music.
>But All the Women Are Really Pretty! How Sexist!
Yes, and the men who play horror-movie roles are always so damned ugly.You know, Johnny Depp, Michael Biehn, Kevin Bacon, Laurence Fishburne, Josh Hartnett, etc.
- What classics of the last girl standing genre were they in? The guys killed by the killer are, even when love interests, fairly forgettable. As for the women being pretty - not only that, but they do have a tendancy to run in their underwear, fall into pools, tear tops etc.
> In fact, if you look at the final girl in all of these movies, she's usually the chaste, quiet, mousy one. That girl survives while all those hoochie-mamas buy the farm. Feminist empowerment indeed: F.E.M.A.L. is so hell-bent on agenda implementation, it doesn't just make sure those idiot men get what's coming to them -- it also makes an example of women who fail to conform to their specific definition of what a woman "should" be. Now that is evil personified!
- Contrary to popular beliefs, 'chaste and mousy' is not a feminist paradigm. 'Comfortable and confident in one's own sociabilty and sexuality' is a feminist paradigm. 'Chaste and mousy' is a partriarchal archetype - society want to see 'good girls' surviving & sinners dying. This dovetails neatly into the young-male demographic who like to see hot 'hoochie mamas' & don't mind if they killed so long as they run in slo-mo, caring so little about the lead girl she allowed to survive, or hoping she will survive to have sex another day.
>The Victims
- Males tend to get a chance to give as good as they get before dying - cheerleaders do not.
>Real Kickass Girls;
Ripley from Aliens, yes, but also:
Buffy of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
River, Zoe, Saffron of Firefly
Echo of Dollhouse
Girl from Hard Candy
Later Leia of Star Wars
Later Sarah Connors of Terminator
Sydney Bristow of Alias
Aeryn Sun of Farscape
Soviet snipers: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soviet_snipers
Apart from the Whedon kick, these also fall into Action-Horror.
So ...