Scott Sigler - The Horror of South Park (Part 1)
Apocalyptic war. Hellfire. Flying body parts... damn, that sounds like some red hot horror. But surprise: It's South Park.
The images above are from the 1999 movie South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut. What? You don't consider South Park a bona fide member of the horror community? Well hey, just because it's a satirical cartoon doesn't mean it's not contributing to our collective nightmarish community, OK Budday?
Rude, crass, gross and shameless, South Park has been inciting politically incorrect laughs since the very first episode, 1997's "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe." The Season 12 DVD just came out, and watching it got me to thinking of the show's stellar horror-related gems.
Pandemic and Pandemic 2: The Startling
Season 12, Episodes 10 & 11
A classic mash-up of Invasion of the Body Snatchers-style alien doppelganger plots and the the well-worn "awakening an ancient evil" storyline, all topped off with a "shakey cam" spoof of Cloverfield, this two-part episode packs in a wealth of horror references. And instead of a monster design that makes little biological sense (it's kind of large for an amphibian no one so much as caught a glimpse of until it decided to stomp New York, no?), South Park goes straight for the ultimate terror: Giant guinea pigs.
Scott Tenorman Must Die
Season 6, Episode 4
Possibly one of the best episodes in South Park history, this one is a horrific slow-burn of a brutal revenge tale. Cannibalism is horror, no matter how you slice, dice or mince it up into a nice spicy chili. Funny, sure. But if you take a step back and just look at the plot of this episode, you'll be forced to agree it's some major-league horror. Oh, what? You don't agree? Well, screw you, hippie, because the majority sides with Uncle Scottie. "Scott Tenorman Must Die" is the highest fan-rated South Park episode over at IMDB.com, which just goes to prove that chopped-up parents are a sure-fire crowd pleaser.
The Ungroundable
Season 12, Episode 14
Never ones to miss a chance to rip on current cultural idiocy, the show takes a good look at the Hot Topic vampire phenomenon Stephanie Meyer unleashed with her Twilight series. Meyer's books (and the 2008 movie Twilight, based on the first novel in the series) turned traditional vampire mythology on its head, something I covered in the HorrorHacker post Scott Sigler Ain't Afraid o' no Vamps. This episode doesn't so much flay Meyer's captivating and best-selling vampiric vision as much as it does the tween fad it spawned, a plague of sparkly vampires who buy their goth rip-off clothes at the local mall. South Park's put-upon Butters tries to reconcile the classic concepts of vamps (crosses, mirrors, garlic, et al.) with Twilight's new "spiritual being" take.
Marjorine
Season 9, Episode 9
Without a doubt, this is South Park's most cringe-inducing, "oh my God they did not just do that" horror-related episode ever. In order to infiltrate the girls' slumber party, the boys fake the death of one of their own (poor Butters, always the victim). How? By staging a suicide jump off a tall building to attract a crowd (including Butters' parents), dressing up a pig carcass as Butters and tossing the carcass to the ground, where it splatters all over said 'rents. I know this is a TV show. I know these are just cartoon characters. But day-ummm, that part had me looking through one eye, simultaneously laughing and stammering "no way!" And the good times don't end there... not at all.
Butters' father gets a visit from someone who tells him that, "sometimes, dead is bettah," a reference to the classic Pet Sematary line delivered by Fred Gwynne. Also a la Pet Sematary, the pig corpse mistaken as Butters is entombed in an old Indian burial ground, so when Butters returns home his parents assume he's a zombie. They chain him up in the basement and feed him freshly killed traveling salespeople, when all the kid wanted was some damn Spaghetti-Os, for God's sake! Hysterical, disturbing and also full of horror movie references, including nods to The Craft (1996), The Gate (1987) and the classic short story "The Monkey's Paw" (written in 1902; really reaching back for that one), "Marjorine" is a treasure-trove for genre fans.
Part 2?
Those four episodes are just the tip of the South Park horror iceberg... what am I missing, Dear Readers? Leave a comment and name your favorites. I'll summarize the most popular ones in part two of "The Horror of South Park," which will run in August.
New York Times best-selling author Scott Sigler writes tales of hard-science horror, then gives them away as free audiobooks at www.scottsigler.com. His latest hardcover, CONTAGIOUS,
is in stores now. If you don't agree with what Scott says in this blog,
post a note in the comments section below. Please include all relevant
personal information, such as your address and what times you are not
home, so Scott can come visit and show you his world famous "Chicken
Scissors."
Got to say im Old Skool on this one, the Halloween Zombie Episode has always been my favorite.
My very favorite horror episode of South Park has got to be Episode #7 Pink Eye. This is the one where the Mir space station falls on Kenny and he gets turned into a zombie after a mix up involving embalming and Worcester sauce. (I just used google to check the spelling and even it is not sure.)
The comic timing in this episode is spot on perfect. The funniest part for me is how Kyle and Stan keep razzing Cartman saying his mom's on the cover of crack whore magazine, and then it turns out to be true! Cartman, for *once*, is utterly speechless.
It's also humorous the way Chef seems to know exactly how to handle the zombies, then there's the British chick that sounds hot but looks scary. And then of course there's Kenny himself.
This episode was and still is Kick-F***ing-Ass cool.
--
Furry cows moo and decompress.
JtIndie: Damn, I forgot that one. Definitely going into Part Two.
wyrdwyrd: Worcestershire sauce! (no, I am not an expert speller, my computer puts a little red line under misspelled words, one click, and I look like a damn GENIUS!
Howdy Boss! I'm sorta partial to the Woodland Critters Christmas bonus episode on the Imaginationland DVD. A South Park take on Rosemary's Baby.
For pure psychological terror then 'Butter's Own Episode' is a classic. When Butters accidentally discovers his dad is visiting gay clubs and innocently tells his mum she goes crazy, tries to kill him, and then fakes a kidnapping to cover it up. It's like 'Hand that Rocks the Cradle' but with attitude.
I think Butters is just about the best character on TV, and watching him suffer through a fake nuclear holocaust (Casa Bonita!), become the master of reality in Imaginationland, take a ninja star in the eye, and leave the pleasures of 'Hello Kitty Adventure Island' to take up the battle against evil in World of Warcraft makes Frodo's journey in LOTR look like an afternoon sitting at home watching the football and scratching your bollocks.
All hail King Butters!
Twowire: Oh, those critters were rather terrifying. Awesome stuff, that's in the running.
martyndarkly: Ha! Good point. I was thinking only gore, but Butters does go through some crap. Good thing he's fairly oblivious to all around him ...
Oh yeah, two more words.
Crab. People.
Easily EASILY 'Good times with weapons'. A-1 F*ck#d up Sh!t!! That one's almost too twisted for even me. I was also going to say 'Scott Tenorman Must Die', but you got that one. 'Trapper Keeper' is not bad either, and the Lemmiwinks one is pretty good.
YAY! Thank you Scott Sigler! You rule! Scott Tenorman Must Die is my favorite episode. You just can't go wrong with that particular brand of cannibalism. "Trapper Keeper" and that whole space odyssey experience is pretty excellent as well.
Megillo: You are right on the money with that, some seriously messed-up goods in the Weapons episode.
lisa: You and Megillo both like Trapper Keeper, I think that's going in Part Two.
martyndarkly: Two more words: "hell yeah."
Well, I'll give you that Butters is one hell of a kid, no doubt.
But for most horrific South Park moment, even considering boudoir scenes with Saddam and the Devil in Hell? That's got to be Mecha-Streisand.
Mecha-Streisand and the Triangle of Zinthar have movie franchise written all over them. And that before the addition of Leonard Maltin, or Robert Smith's Mothra.
Again, people, mecha-Streisand and Mothra.
And even though I disagree with Kyle about Disintegration being "the best album ever" this one gets my vote for a sufficiently horrifying South Park.
my vote:
episode 911: Cartman thinks he is a "ginger" and develops his own cult. Classic.
non votes, but who can resist these classic "horror" episodes.
episode 810: not sure if it counts as horror, but when the south park kids combine forces against Trent Boyett, who wants revenge on them for wrongfully naming him in an accident in preschool ... great!
episode 412: when we are first introduced to Miss Choksondik and her boobs keep popping out. Terrifying! That image did NOT need to be burned in my memory.