Stacie Ponder - Space, the Final Frontier of Horror

Have you ever noticed that once the sun goes down, the sky turns black and there are glowing white dots all over it? Well friends, brace for some science: Those dots are called "stars," and the blackness in which they float is actually outer space. It's true! In fact, you may remember outer space from its appearance in such films as Alien, Event Horizon and many lesser features.
Alien and Event Horizon are shining examples of what happens when horror and scifi mingle like randy singles: The former is a slasher movie with a homicidal monster from another planet, the latter essentially a haunted house picture with an out-of-this-world setting. But for truly ridiculous horror films set in space, look to franchise efforts that head skyward when the terrestrial idea pool dries up. These three spaceballs, for example...
Hellraiser IV: Bloodline (1996)
Once upon a time, writer/director Clive Barker's Hellraiser introduced horror fans to the bloody, sadomasochistic side of human desire. His demonic Cenobites were unlquely disturbing creations, so Hellraiser's success naturally demanded sequels featuring Pinhead and his posse of leather-clad weirdos. Like all franchises, the series has had both highs and lows, and the fourth installment, a time-hopping journey into the genesis of the infamous puzzle box that calls forth the Cenobites, falls somewhere on the spectrum's lower end. It begins on a space station in the year 2127, then moves first to 18th-century France and next to present-day New York. Trust me: It's exactly the convoluted mess you'd imagine. Pinhead's menace and mystery are completely missing, and what's left is some sort of bedazzled Shakespearean castoff, stroking pigeons and blabbing endlessly. No wonder directing credit goes to Alan Smithee, the pseudonym favored by directors driven to disavow their work.
Leprechaun 4: In Space (1997)
I'm not gonna lie to you: Leprechaun 4 is a terrible, terrible film. But I love it, and I'm only a little bit ashamed: There are good times to be found in this delightful tale of space marines who go to some planet to do something or other and run afoul of the titular Leprechaun, who's on the planet to marry a space princess for some reason or another. That all makes perfect sense, doesn't it? Look, it really doesn't matter; What matters is the bad CGI and the fact that the space princess wears glitter and yellow eye shadow, as I always suspected alien broads would. Ostensibly a horror comedy, Leprechaun 4 fails on both fronts so spectacularly that it's a joy to behold, a shining example of film so bad it's good. If nothing else, it's worth suffering through for the ending, in which the Leprechaun's giant, disembodied hand floats by the ship and flips the space marines the bird. I don't think I'm overstating things when I say it's a high point in the history of cinema.
Jason X (2002)
In case you didn't know, the "X" indicates that it's the tenth film in the Friday the 13th series. Ten. Ten film a masked wackadoo killing horny teenagers (OK, nine films about him and one about his mom). I'm not surprised Jason wound up in space... I'm surprised it took ten movies to get him there. Could Jason X be anything but absurd? Of course not: You're dealing with a cryogenically-frozen Jason Voorhees who thaws out aboard a ship in the 2455. Years on ice have done nothing to cool his murderous ways and he sets about killing everyone in sight and eventually becomes uber-Jason, a cyborg psycho complete with shiny silver mask. And Jason X isn't even the series nadir; in fact, if you're willing to check your brain at the door it's an awful lot of fun. Uber fun, even!
The idea of taking horror franchises into space appeals to me because it's ludicrous: Talking about uber-Jason with a straight face is almost impossible, so I say bring it on! I want to see Freddy Krueger haunt the nightmares of astronauts on Elm Street One. I want a cryogenically-frozen Norman Bates to thaw out and open the Bates Lunar Motel. I want Saw X to feature some hapless Jigsaw victim trying to chew his way out of a trap before a comet hits him in the face. For my money, these suggestions seem like natural series progressions.
A fan of horror movies and scary stuff, Stacie Ponder started her blog Final Girl so she'd have a platform from which she could tell everyone that, say, Friday the 13th, Part 2 rules. She leads a glamorous life, walking on the razor's edge of danger and intrigue.










I like JASON X, a lot. It is nowhere near as bad as "Jason Takes Manhattan" or "Jason Goes to Hell". People think of "in space" and automatically think CRAP, but in this case it is cheesy-slasher fun!
Yeah, I'm only a little ashamed to enjoy JASON X. It's definitely not the worst in the series...and I don't think it takes itself too seriously.
Love the blog(s). Longtime reader, first-time commenter, etc.
I was laughing at this one, because I recently went on a "soldiers vs. monsters aka low-budget 'Aliens' ripoffs" kick - including Leprechaun 4, Jason X, Carnosaur 2 and 3 (which aren't in space), Sometimes They Come Back... For More and a couple of others.
Funny how so many people (myself included, I suppose) try to take that formula and make it work, and it just doesn't measure up.
Thanks, Ace! I'm a total sucker for space marines, even though the movies featuring them are generally pretty terrible.
Now you've got me itching for some Carnosaur, though...
Jason X has my favorite moment in any slasher flick of all time, and that's some mighty hefty praise as I do like me some slasher flicks.
It's that part when the older guy is convinced that if he gives Jason back his machete everything'll be fine. "It's okay, it's okay! He just wanted his machete back." Ludicrous, ridiculous, and the best thing I've ever seen.
The Cronenberg cameo was also pretty great.
Galaxy of Terror. There's definitely a gulf between the quality of the box art and that of the movie, but it's not the gaping chasm you'd expect. And the box art is pretty much the pinnacle of visual communication, so it's saying something that the movie's merely disappointing instead of punishing.
The Cronenberg cameo was also pretty great.
Wait, as in David? Hold on, I gotta take a sip of something to really sell the spit-take.
Actually eight movies for Jason, one for Mommy, and one for a poser ambulance driver. Mwaha.
Also here's a fun triple feature of movies made with the same sets and costumes: Galaxy of Terror / Horror Planet / Forbidden World
P.S. Are we still engaged at ALL?
Ahhhhh Jason X.
Certainly not my favorite of the series, but holds a special place in my heart as it's one of the few I've actually seen in theater.
I had a late start to the series (got on board with Part 3) and was only able to catch Jason X and Freddy Vs. Jason in the theater. Both share a charm of being ridiculous in parts but a helluva lot of fun.
I've always been curious of Hellraiser IV, due to the Alan Smithee moniker. "Curious" in a "I double dog dare you to stick your tongue to the lamp post in winter! C'mon! It'll be funny!"
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