Horror Hacker

Horror Movies, News, Discussion

Scott Sigler - Monster Hunter Tournament: The Final Four

sigler-finalfour-hellboy.jpg

scott_sigler_calllout.jpg

In any tournament, the Final Four is a round of celebration. If you made it to this point, you're good and you know it. Some contestants are just happy to have made it that far, others see their semifinal match as simply an obstacle on the way to a destined, glorious championship. We started with sixteen of the greatest monster hunters in the history of movies and TV, and now twelve of those are off the island (hopefully ramping up for a sequel or a remake).

As for the four that remain, a quartet of the most effective monster hunters in the known universe, let's take a look at how they got here:

Buffy Summers (No. 1) vs. Ellen Ripley (No. 5)
If you want some versatility, it's tough to beat Buffy. She slays all kinds of easily-bested beasties. Thanks to the endless online army of Buffy fangirls and fanboys, she knocked out a game River Tam from Firefly/Serenity, then bitch-slapped her old beau, Angel, with more than four times the votes to move into the Final Four.

Ripley''s monster-fighting prowess brought her an easy first-round win against Blade, and a minor second-round upset against No. 4 seed Van Helsing. The star of Alien, Aliens, Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection, Ripley took the wife-beater/machine gun look to heights not seen since Rambo took up residence in the local trailer park.

But let's be honest here, folks. Ripley has about as much chance of making it past this encounter as grandma's turkey has of making it past the Thanksgiving family dinner in one piece. Sure, even if Uncle Jimmy doesn't show up and take both legs for himself (the selfish bastard), that holiday bird is goin' down.

Ash (No. 2) vs. Hellboy (No. 3)
You know how in the movies, when the hero looks like he's about done for, he finds some hidden reserve of strength and comes back to whip monster ass? Well that's what happened to No. 3 seed Hellboy, who held off a total dogfight against the Ghostbusters. The match was right down to the wire, with both sides exchanging the lead a half-dozen times. The No. 6 seeded Ghostbusters almost pulled off the upset of the decade, but ultimately, they couldn't get past Big Red.

Hellboy opened up with a solid thumping of Alice from the Resident Evil franchise, and now faces the big-hitting No. 2 seed Ash. Ash opened up the tournament with a three-to-one vote margin over The Lost Boy's Frog Brothers in Round One, then extended that to a four-to-one vote margin over Underworld's Selene in Round Two. Seems the monster-slaying hottie's leather catsuit was no match for a chainsaw-hand. Hail to the King, baby, because the star of Evil Dead, Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness is movin' on up.

This match is a prime opportunity for an upset. Had their Round Two votes been paired head to head, Hellboy would have only trailed Ashy by only 30 votes. In the world of professional monster hunter tournaments, that's peanuts, people. Considering that Hellboy is still riding high from his Golden Army DVD release, this matchup is up for grabs.

Let's Get It On!
The semifinal voting is open now. Feel free to spout your opinions in the comments, and to vote, click the little "Vote in Poll" button below.   

vote-in-poll-btn.gif


Scott Sigler writes tales of hard-science horror, then gives them away as free audiobooks at www.scottsigler.com. His new novel, Contagious, hits bookstores on December 30 and is currently available for pre-order. If you don't agree with what Scott says in this blog, please email him scott@scottsigler.com. Please include all relevant personal information, such as your address and what times you are not home, so Scott can come visit and show you his world famous "Chicken Scissors."

  • Comments (6)
  • (4)
  • Link
  • Add This!

Filed under: Polls and Games, Scott Sigler
Tags: master monster hunter tournament

Comments

default userpic

Buffy Anne Summer Is Winner!!!

Buffy es la mejor del mundo, inmdiscutida cazadora, la mas famosa y querida por todos!

default userpic

buffy summers!!! she is the best!

default userpic

BUFFY BUFFY BUFFY!!!!

default userpic

I don't want to vote for Buffy in the finals, I just don't! I'm also not a fan of Big Red. Hmmm. Buffy DID sleep with Angel ...

user-pic

Way to make friends and influence people, Mr Sigler....your hard-nosed, in-your-face style might irk some folk but I think it's cute. Because I know you don't EVER want to be thought of as cute.

Buffy is teh win. Deal.

:)

user-pic

worldofhiglet: Come on now, that's a very fair analysis of that matchup. If you'll notice, I'm poking fun at Whedon for abandoning any true suspense by bringing back dead characters not once, but three times -- be brought back Buffy and Ripley.

Leave a comment