SWM, 30ish, stable, caring and good with guns, seeks law abiding female. Enjoys horseback riding and public hangings. Val Verde personals, 1867.

It's clear from the beginning of Bandolero! that January Johnson (George Kennedy) has a crush on Maria Stoner (Raquel Welch). It's also clear that he doesn't stand a chance. Nice guys never win. Especially when good looking bad guys (Jimmy Stewart and Dean Martin) come to town and steal her away -- literally.

Yet, he keeps trying. Why? It's possible, based on the cast list, that Maria is the only woman in the Old West. In that case, yes, it makes sense to track her down in Mexico and bring her back. But let's assume, for the sake of argument, there are others. Why pursue someone that is so clearly not right for you? Okay, she's gorgeous. But the sheriff isn't trying to seduce her. He wants to take care of her. Trouble is, the widow can take care for herself; a point she makes very clear when she tells the banker, "I was a whore at 13 and my family of 12 never went hungry."

Some men are just always attracted to the wrong girl. If you dropped him into the River of No Return, he'd probably fall for Marilyn Monroe's character, Kay Weston. Wake up and smell the coffee on the campfire Sheriff! You're not going to win a girl like that when Robert Mitchum's in the picture.

If he continues down this road, and the way the film ends it appears he might, he could benefit from some advice. First, lose the name January and stop saying things like "my friends call me 'July' ma'am. I wish you were one." It's not sexy and it sends the wrong message. Second, stop stuttering and third, when you find yourself saying "I'm a good guy, so why is it all the jerks get the women and I'm stuck being alone?" read The Top 5 Things Jerks Do to Get Women.

Finding true love has never been easy. Not now. Not ever. For a full schedule of Bandolero! on AMC, click here.

Death Wish struck a chord with 1970s New Yorkers. Did it strike a chord with you? Be the first person to correctly answer all 15 questions in our Ultimate Fan Quiz and you'll win a copy of The Dirty Dozen: 40th Anniversary Special Edition. The quiz runs from Saturday, May 24 to Saturday, June 7 at midnight. The winner will be announced shortly afterward. (Make sure your profile lists your email so we can contact you about your prize.)

It's time to take matters into your own hands. Answer the questions. Not feeling up to a quiz? Check out our Bronson Photo Gallery.

1. What does Paul Kersey do for a living?

2. At the start of Death Wish, Kersey and his wife are on vacation. Where?

3. At the end of the Death Wish, Kersey's asked to leave New York. Where does he go?

Continue reading "Ultimate Fan Quiz - The Death Wish Series" »

Given that there have been some pretty amazing soundtracks in the history of film, it's a pretty bold statement to call any particular one the best. You could look at movie musicals, like West Side Story, or The Wizard of Oz, and say those were the best soundtracks. Or, you could talk about movies with famous scores, like Titanic,or Star Wars.

But we're not talking about the most timeless tunes. We're not talking about the most heartbreaking music or the theme song that perfectly captures a character's soul without a line of dialogue. No, we're talking about the Best Soundtrack, and in this case, that's determined by the music that kicks the most ass. The music that you secretly blast in your car. This is what makes the Karate Kid soundtracks so glorious... Not a level of quality, but a level of human happiness delivered. How it won the title as Best Soundtrack Ever comes down to two simple songs: "The Glory of Love" and "You're The Best."

Continue reading "The Karate Kid Movies Have The Best Soundtracks of All Time... Really!" »

The way to make a good movie, according to El Dorado director Howard Hawks, is to have a couple of good parts and not to annoy anyone. Exercising this restraint was what guided Hawks' career, and it's most visible in El Dorado, a virtual remake of his hit Rio Bravo. This time, it's Robert Mitchum instead of Dean Martin, and James Caan in for Ricky Nelson. But rather than mimic the pout and snarl of Nelson's Rio Bravo teen rebel, Caan is so insolent, he refuses to even play it cool.

Hawks can be credited for discovering Caan: El Dorado is often thought of as Caan's first starring role, but his actual first major role was the year before, in Hawks' underappreciated Red Line 7000. We can thank the director for introducing Caan's  enthusiastic insolence, a character trait that would come to define Caan in later roles such as Sonny in The Godfather, Mr. Henry in Bottle Rocket, or the dude in Rollerball. Caan would play similar parts in real life, whether living at the Playboy mansion in the '70s, or spending nine years on the Pro Rodeo circuit, getting into all kinds of scrapes.

Watch Caan becoming Caan. For a full schedule of El Dorado on AMC, click here.

"The English have Shakespeare, the French have Moliere, the Russians have Chekhov. The Western is ours," Robert Duvall has said. With credits like Lonesome Dove and Open Range, along with an Oscar win for Tender Mercies, Duvall is a man who knows his Westerns.

In fact, it was a series of conversations between the actor and writer Alan Geoffrian about the Old West that catalyzed the project that became AMC's award-winning mini-series Broken Trail. Duvall would go on to pick up another acting statue -- an Emmy this time -- for his portrayal of veteran cowboy Print Ritter. And when he basks in the glow of his career success, Duvall does it far from Hollywood: He makes his home on 400 acres in Virginia. "If I couldn't have been an actor, I would have been a rancher," he has said, noting that he was tempted to take the horse he rode in Broken Trail back home with him.

Watch Robert Duvall back in the saddle. For the full schedule of Broken Trail on AMC, click here.

To see behind the scenes footage of the making of Broken Trail, click here.

Uncommon Valor has an all-star cast: Gene Hackman, Robert Stack, Fred Ward, Patrick Swayze and, of course, veteran character actor Tim Thomerson. But how valiant are these men on a mission, and how common is this sort of behavior for them? Herewith, we present some of these actors' credits and rate their valor, on a scale of zero to five Swayzes.

Patrick Swayze, Dirty Dancing
What a lying, cheating scumbag Johnny Castle is, right? Not only does he get a girl pregnant, he does it while two-timing her with a teen hussy just visiting for the summer. Then, he takes the teen hussy's innocence -- seducing her when she had a perfectly viable option in a nice, clean cut boy from Cornell University's Hotel School. Unbelievable. More like common no-valor, am I right? [Ed Note: Because the author of this piece is a Cornell alum, we bumped it up one Swayze so as not to seem biased.]

Level of Valor:

Continue reading "The Cast of Uncommon Valor Proves Only Intermittently Valorous" »