"After Clint Eastwood learned last week that his friend Arnold Schwarzenegger no longer wanted him on the (California) state parks commission, he spoke with Bobby Shriver, the governor's brother-in-law, who had also been dropped. Somewhat incredulous, they joked about it, each saying the other should be more offended." -- Michael Rothfeld, Los Angeles Times

"Most people are afraid of change, but if you look at it as something you can always count on, then it can be a comfort." -- Robert Kincaid, The Bridges of Madison County (1995)

"I really should quit. Then I can handle the law my own way." -- Harry Callahan, Sudden Impact (1983)

"Consider that a divorce." -- Douglas Quaid, Total Recall (1990)

"We would be making the same mistake that Reverend Wright made in his offending sermons about America to simplify and stereotype and amplify the negative to the point that it distorts reality. The fact is that the comments that have been made and the issues that have surfaced over the last few weeks reflect the complexities of race in this country."

-- Barack Obama

"The cancer of racism imbues our national character. It taints the spirit. Stains the soul. It is a spot, a shameful greasy spot on the face of humanity." -- Joe Clark, Lean on Me (1989)

"May I remind you - in this archdiocese, God don't run the bingo." -- Frank Costello, The Departed (1987)

"Racism is silly and uncool.  Who cares what color someone's skin is as long as they're really, really, really good-looking?" -- Derek Zoolander, Zoolander (2001)

"Eliot Spitzer knew how to catch bad guys by following the money. As attorney general, he once broke up a call-girl ring and locked up 16 people on corruption, money-laundering and prostitution charges. He ruthlessly investigated the pay packages of Wall Street executives and was so familiar with shady financial maneuvers that he was promoted to the top racketeering prosecutor in Manhattan. But in the end, it appears that Spitzer may be done in by the same behavior that he built a career out of prosecuting." -- Samantha Gross and Devin Bartlett, New York Newsday

"It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds." -- Doc Holliday, Tombstone (1993)

"Just how obscene an amount of cash are we talking about here? Profane or really offensive?" -- Mr. Hollister, Pretty Woman (1990)

"I always keep hooker money around, you know, 'cause I once paid by check years ago and the I.R.S. killed me." -- Harry Block, Deconstructing Harry (1997)

"In Love and Consequences, a critically-acclaimed memoir published last week, Margaret B. Jones wrote about her life as a half-white, half-Native American girl growing up in South-Central Los Angeles as a foster child among gang-bangers, running drugs for the Bloods. The problem is that none of it is true.  Margaret B. Jones is a pseudonym for Margaret Seltzer, who is all white and grew up in the well-to-do Sherman Oaks section of Los Angeles, in the San Fernando Valley, with her biological family.  Riverhead Books...is recalling all copies of the book and has canceled Ms. Seltzer's book tour." -- Motoko Rich, The New York Times

"Our ability to manufacture fraud now exceeds our ability to detect it." -- Viktor, S1m0ne (2002)

"I always thought it'd be better to be a fake somebody...than a real nobody." - Tom Ripley, The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)

"It's just there's so many fake crips on the streets today, a real crip ain't got a chance." -- Crutchy, Newsies (1992)

Have a quote to add? Post it in the comments below.

A "doomsday" seed vault built to protect millions of food crops from climate change, wars and natural disasters opened Tuesday deep within an Arctic mountain in the remote Norwegian archipelago of Svalbard. "The Svalbard Global Seed Vault is our insurance policy," Norway's Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg told delegates at the opening ceremony. "It is the Noah's Ark for securing biological diversity for future generations." --msnbc.msn.com

"We've made living biological attractions so astounding that they'll capture the imagination of the entire planet." -- John Hammond, Jurassic Park (1993)

"For within each seed, there is a promise of a flower, and within each death, no matter how small, there is always new life." --Dillon, Alien 3 (1992)

"Mammals, a day of reckoning is coming. That's right, the same plants and flowers that saw you crawl from the primordial soup will reclaim the planet. And there will be no one to protect you." --Poison Ivy, Batman and Robin (1997)

Have quotes to add? Post in the comments below.

Mike Huckabee, facing an apparent mathematical impossibility in the remaining hunt for Republican presidential nominating delegates, said today that he will not "walk off the field.'' [...] "Miracles are still happening,'' the ordained Baptist minister said. "I still believe in them." -- Baltimoresun.com

"You think I'm licked. You all think I'm licked. Well, I'm not licked. And I'm going to stay right here and fight for this lost cause."
--Jefferson Smith, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)

"Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
--Bluto, Animal House (1978)

"You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles."
--Miracle Max, The Princess Bride (1987)

Have quotes to add? Post in the comments below.

One of the stranger roles in the already mighty strange Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (which airs on AMC tonight at 8 PM) is that of Aunty Entity, played by singer/survivor/fright wig wearer Tina Turner.  Turner has only a handful of movie credits to her name -- most notably as the Acid Queen in the 1975 film Tommy  -- but her Aunty Entity role is weirdly compelling, if not always completely believable.

Aunty Entity rules the post-apocalyptic desert town of Bartertown like the queen she is until Mel Gibson (Max) comes to town.  Max fights on behalf of Aunt Entity so that she gains complete control of the town, only to find himself banished, and then later to return to settle scores. Kind of like the Ike and Tina relationship, only with even weirder costumes.

In the course of the film, Aunty Entity, as the fearsome femme fatale, gets off some bodacious over-the top lines. Here a sampling of classic lines Tina Turner delivers in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome:

Max: Thunderdome…. (pause) How do I get in there?
Aunty Entity: That's easy. Pick a fight!

Aunty Entity: Remember where you are - this is Thunderdome, and death is listening, and will take the first man that screams.

Aunty Entity: You think I don't know the law? Wasn't it me who wrote it? And I say that this man has broken the law. Right or wrong, we had a deal. And the law says: bust a deal and face the wheel!

Max: I don't know anything about methane.
Aunty Entity: You can shovel shit can't you?

Aunty Entity: And what did you do before all this?
Max: I was a cop, a driver.
Aunty Entity: But how the world turns. One day, cock of the walk. Next, a feather duster.

If ever there was a role Chevy Chase was born to play, it’s that of Irwin “Fletch” Fletcher. In Fletch Lives – which airs on AMC Thursday and Friday – the bumbling but loveable Fletch finds himself the owner of a Louisiana mansion --a horribly run-down mansion at that. Things pretty much go downhill from there, but Fletch never lets events alter his unique view of the world.

Chase’s movie career is less notable for his acting and more celebrated for the classic lines he’s delivered – lines that many people still repeat to this day. Here’s our list of classic Chevy Chase movie lines. Got one you don’t see here? Tell us in a comment.

“All I needed now was a computer. And a ten year old kid to teach me how to use it.” – Fletch Lives

“I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pull rank on you. I didn't want to have to do this. I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses.” --Fletch

"I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.”  -- Caddyshack

“Oh, it's me, Dr. Rosenpenis.” –Fletch

“Why aren't we flying? Because getting there is half the fun.” – National Lampoon’s Vacation

"Remember Danny - Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left." –Caddyshack

“The Reverend Farnsworth was Becky's father, but I wasn't going to hold that against her. If I was going to hold anything against her, it wouldn't be her father.” –Fletch Lives

No doubt about it. Tom Hanks is the most beloved male star in Hollywood today.  But the man who who made his breakthrough movie with Splash and continues his success with the upcoming Charlie Wilson's War on Christmas Day, is also eminently quotable.  Here are some of the best Hanks quotes:

-“If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. It's the hard that makes it great.”
-“There's a difference between solitude and loneliness. I can understand the concept of being a monk for a while.”
-“If you have to have a job in this world, a high-priced movie star is a pretty good gig.”
-“The year I was born, 1956, was the peak year for babies being born, and there are more people essentially our age than anybody else. We could crush these new generations if we decided too.”
-“There was nothing to react to except wind and trees [in Cast Away]. It was like making a silent movie.”

Continue reading "Best Tom Hanks Quotes" »

Today, October 2, is the birthday of Julius Henry Marx, better known as Groucho. He is 116 years old, or at least he would be if he hadn't died in 1977.

There's just no point in trying to crack jokes when writing about Groucho, because the effort only reminds you how much funnier he was. You can read two hilarious interviews with him from his later years on Roger Ebert's website, one from 1970 and the other from 1972. They were probably the  easiest things Ebert ever wrote, consisting almost entirely of transcriptions interrupted by the occasional note explaining who the person is that just walked in the room to be insulted.

Celebrate the day by watching Duck Soup, the funniest Marx Brothers movie, and therefore a prime candidate for the funniest movie ever made. (Don't listen to anyone who tries to tell you that A Night at the Opera is funnier.) Or, if you're stuck at work and surfing the net, consider   this dip into ocean of memorable Groucho quotes and insults (my favorites from a much longer list at Wikiquote):

• I have nothing but respect for you, and not much of that.

• Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

• Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood.

Continue reading "Happy Birthday Groucho!" »