One of the stranger roles in the already mighty strange Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (which airs on AMC tonight at 8 PM) is that of Aunty Entity, played by singer/survivor/fright wig wearer Tina Turner.  Turner has only a handful of movie credits to her name -- most notably as the Acid Queen in the 1975 film Tommy  -- but her Aunty Entity role is weirdly compelling, if not always completely believable.

Aunty Entity rules the post-apocalyptic desert town of Bartertown like the queen she is until Mel Gibson (Max) comes to town.  Max fights on behalf of Aunt Entity so that she gains complete control of the town, only to find himself banished, and then later to return to settle scores. Kind of like the Ike and Tina relationship, only with even weirder costumes.

In the course of the film, Aunty Entity, as the fearsome femme fatale, gets off some bodacious over-the top lines. Here a sampling of classic lines Tina Turner delivers in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome:

Max: Thunderdome…. (pause) How do I get in there?
Aunty Entity: That's easy. Pick a fight!

Aunty Entity: Remember where you are - this is Thunderdome, and death is listening, and will take the first man that screams.

Aunty Entity: You think I don't know the law? Wasn't it me who wrote it? And I say that this man has broken the law. Right or wrong, we had a deal. And the law says: bust a deal and face the wheel!

Max: I don't know anything about methane.
Aunty Entity: You can shovel shit can't you?

Aunty Entity: And what did you do before all this?
Max: I was a cop, a driver.
Aunty Entity: But how the world turns. One day, cock of the walk. Next, a feather duster.

If ever there was a role Chevy Chase was born to play, it’s that of Irwin “Fletch” Fletcher. In Fletch Lives – which airs on AMC Thursday and Friday – the bumbling but loveable Fletch finds himself the owner of a Louisiana mansion --a horribly run-down mansion at that. Things pretty much go downhill from there, but Fletch never lets events alter his unique view of the world.

Chase’s movie career is less notable for his acting and more celebrated for the classic lines he’s delivered – lines that many people still repeat to this day. Here’s our list of classic Chevy Chase movie lines. Got one you don’t see here? Tell us in a comment.

“All I needed now was a computer. And a ten year old kid to teach me how to use it.” – Fletch Lives

“I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pull rank on you. I didn't want to have to do this. I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses.” --Fletch

"I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.”  -- Caddyshack

“Oh, it's me, Dr. Rosenpenis.” –Fletch

“Why aren't we flying? Because getting there is half the fun.” – National Lampoon’s Vacation

"Remember Danny - Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left." –Caddyshack

“The Reverend Farnsworth was Becky's father, but I wasn't going to hold that against her. If I was going to hold anything against her, it wouldn't be her father.” –Fletch Lives

No doubt about it. Tom Hanks is the most beloved male star in Hollywood today.  But the man who who made his breakthrough movie with Splash and continues his success with the upcoming Charlie Wilson's War on Christmas Day, is also eminently quotable.  Here are some of the best Hanks quotes:

-“If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. It's the hard that makes it great.”
-“There's a difference between solitude and loneliness. I can understand the concept of being a monk for a while.”
-“If you have to have a job in this world, a high-priced movie star is a pretty good gig.”
-“The year I was born, 1956, was the peak year for babies being born, and there are more people essentially our age than anybody else. We could crush these new generations if we decided too.”
-“There was nothing to react to except wind and trees [in Cast Away]. It was like making a silent movie.”

Continue reading "Best Tom Hanks Quotes" »

Today, October 2, is the birthday of Julius Henry Marx, better known as Groucho. He is 116 years old, or at least he would be if he hadn't died in 1977.

There's just no point in trying to crack jokes when writing about Groucho, because the effort only reminds you how much funnier he was. You can read two hilarious interviews with him from his later years on Roger Ebert's website, one from 1970 and the other from 1972. They were probably the  easiest things Ebert ever wrote, consisting almost entirely of transcriptions interrupted by the occasional note explaining who the person is that just walked in the room to be insulted.

Celebrate the day by watching Duck Soup, the funniest Marx Brothers movie, and therefore a prime candidate for the funniest movie ever made. (Don't listen to anyone who tries to tell you that A Night at the Opera is funnier.) Or, if you're stuck at work and surfing the net, consider   this dip into ocean of memorable Groucho quotes and insults (my favorites from a much longer list at Wikiquote):

• I have nothing but respect for you, and not much of that.

• Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

• Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood.

Continue reading "Happy Birthday Groucho!" »

"You can't be as old as I am without waking up with a surprised look on your face every morning: 'Holy Christ, whaddya know - I'm still around!' It's absolutely amazing that I survived all the booze and smoking and the cars and the career."

"To be an actor you have to be a child."

"You only grow when you are alone."

"If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you."

Continue reading "Paul Newman: Memorable Quotes" »

Alfred Hitchcock was known as a master of the language (as you can see and hear in this interview.  Hitch's words, off the cuff or cerebral, had that signature droll British wit.  Muse upon these 10 quotes out to see what I mean.

“When an actor comes to me and wants to discuss his character, I say, 'It's in the script.' If he says, 'But what's my motivation?, ' I say, 'Your salary.'”

“I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle.”

“Self-plagiarism is style.”

“The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.”

“There is no terror in a bang, only in the anticipation of it.”

Continue reading "The Wittiest Alfred Hitchcock Quotes" »

This weekend's 310 to Yuma, which stars Russell Crowe and Christian Bale, may be a fine movie, but it's got nothing on most of the Westerns Clint Eastwood made.  To 'make your day,' I've assembled some of the best Clint Eastwood quotes, the ones that you remember, and some ones you may not have heard.

“Go ahead, make my day.”

“Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that's real power.”

“I tried being reasonable, I didn't like it.”

"A good man always knows his limitations.”

Continue reading "The Best Clint Eastwood Quotes" »

Kate Hepburn could cut like a knife with her words.  Yet her thoughts were always insightful and often profound.  Here, on the year of the legend's 100th birthday, are 10 Hepburn quotes you yourself might like to repeat at a party -- to show how witty you are.

“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.”

“Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. But beautiful women don't need to know about men. It's the men who have to know about beautiful women.”

“I never lose sight of the fact that just being is fun.”

“Life is hard. After all, it kills you.”

“Why slap them on the wrist with feather when you can belt them over the head with a sledgehammer?”

Continue reading "The Smartest Kate Hepburn Quotes" »

To this day, there's no one cooler than Humphrey Bogart.  Bogart's been given props in everything from Bugs Bunny cartoons to a Little Feat song to the video game, Scarface: The World Is Yours.  Sure, his manner exuded hipness.  But so did his words:

“I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me.”

“If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.”

“Here's looking at you, kid.”

“The whole world is about three drinks behind.”

“The only thing that you owe the public is a good performance.”

Continue reading "The Coolest Bogart Quotes" »

John Wayne wasn't merely a straight shooting cowboy.  The words he uttered made a lot of sense, and they make sense even today.  For your perusal, here are some of the more memorable John Wayne quotes.

“Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway”

“Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid.”

“If you've got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow.”
 

Continue reading "The Most Memorable John Wayne Quotes" »