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Hank's Blog - Happy Trails

The shit's really hit the fan, you guys. I'm starting to wonder if we've slipped into some sort of alternative "everything sucks" universe. No doubt you heard about that plane crash. Jesus, how crazy is that? I don't even know what happened. All I know is, I'm standing there debating the virtues of various Romantic poets with Gomie when all of a sudden, there's this enormous... Alright, you caught me. I was actually in the can, uh... restoring my personal comfort, when that insane explosion happened. Luckily I was in the right place, so any sort of instinctual bodily reactions wouldn't take me by surprise. I still can't get over it. But honestly, that's not the craziest thing going on in my life right now (and I ain't talking about the wife...). Yeah, it's been one of those weeks.
It's sensitive, so I can't get into details, but we're having, well, a family situation. Hell, I don't even really know what's going on. All I know is that Casa Schrader will be hosting a few more people than usual for a little while. Not that I mind having family over, of course. My wife'll set the place up like the most efficient, dementedly purple bed and breakfast you've ever seen. I'm just stoked for the special "we have guests" pancakes that I'll be getting.
I just have no idea why all this is happening. It's like, shit literally fell out of the freaking sky -- maybe we can put our problems behind us for a bit. But then, you can never tell what's going on in anyone's relationship but your own. Hell, not even that half the time. I know some people don't really get me and Marie -- how I worked my magical sexy voodoo to trick her into marrying me. (Answer -- I'm just that good.) But, seriously, you just never know what brings people together or what dopey, moronic shit they do that sends the other one packing. (I'm guessing there was some epic idiocy here, but I'm short on details... and I prefer to stay that way.)
Anyway, due to the recent craziness that my family life has become, it looks like I might have to take a little time off from this blog. I gotta admit, I'm kinda sad about it. It's funny, I started writing this thing mostly to get my nephew to quit bugging me already. I figured I'd write a couple stories down that he could show his friends, and that'd be it. But I've gotten kind of attached to this little blog, and to you guys, my faithful (and, let's be honest, at times a bit critical) readers. I never expected so many people to read this thing. Guess I never realized just how many losers with too much time on their hands there are on the internet. Ah, I'm just giving you all crap. See, I start busting your balls (or whatever the equivalent is for you ladies -- ovaries... huevos? Nah, huevos is balls again. Maybe one of you has an idea...), and you know you're in.
So, (gotta just rip that Band-Aid off) until we meet again, adios, amigos. Hankster out!












Hankster,
You're funny as hell, dude, and I have no trouble believing you could charm the pants off any woman you choose! Maybe you and Marie got started playing a kinky little game of shoplifter getting busted and she liked it too much to let it go.
You're gonna have to duck sister-in-law breast for the weekend, so you should probably head on over to Walt's and help him pack. Maybe knock back a few cold ones while you're picking body parts outta the pool. Tell those guys in hazmat suits to stop being wussies and take off the gas masks, already.
And hurry up with season three. Like you pointed out us losers have too much time on our hands and need our demented entertainment!
Next time you're at Los Pollos Hermanos be sure to add some artificial sweetener to your iced tea. That shit's TIGHT TIGHT TIGHT!!
NOOO HANK NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :(
NOOO HANK NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :(
Post from another universe:
Freakin wierd about the real plane going down within hours of the finale being aired! Makes you think about how cause & effect is not what makes the multiverse tick.
There's a guy named Dean Norris on this side of the screen who does a kick ass impression of you, Hank. First saw him in T2 and he makes a memorable impression in the few seconds he's on.
Now it looks like his career is taking off because of you! He was even in the Terminator TV series the same time your 'show' was running! Is it because he is such a great actor or is it just from you being such a great character? Cause & effect, cause & effect; which is which?
Hank, Hank, Hank, Here we go again. Man you really do need a Break from your job. Sounds like you are at your wits end. You think you have it Bad? Hell we have a guy named Obama, who got his dumb ass elected as president of this Great Country, who thinks he is the second coming of the Jesus Christ himself (the Messiah). This guy has taken over Chrysler and GM (the Auto industry), Banks and pretty soon the the Health industry. He's spending all the Money in the US Treasury and printing more (can you say Inflation ehre we come? yes we can). He's never actually run a Business, but he does have a Harvard Law degree, so I guess that must be worth something, right ? On the Positive side, He can give one hell of a speech, the man can orate, provided he has a Teleprompter telling him what to say. I could go on, but whats the Frickin point, we are screwed. Now with that said, is your situation really all that Bad?
Dad, take some time off, get your family situation straightened out. Enjoy those special pancakes. After your other family leaves, and things settle down, lets get together for a Schraderbrau and get caught up. Love, your son Hank Jr..
This confirms, for anyone who doubted it, that Skyler and the baby weren't on the plane that crashed! :)
Hank, was that you I saw in "The Negotiator." It was a very brief shot, you were one of the cops in the Police station.....Was that you Magoo?
You write a killer Blog Hank. I wouldn't be surprised if next season your comments double with the fans you are beginning to develop. Dean, I hope you have a great summer and I look forward to watching you next season portraying Hank "The Hankster" in Breaking Bad. And one last thing. Tell them your fan want you to have more lines and on camera time.
We're all unemployed Hank, what else are we supposed to do? LOL
Besides, I'm hoping you work on getting that Hank Schrader action figure doll out on the assembly line!
Maybe you should go over to have a little chat with Walt and find out what this mess is all about!
Jamm54 has a great point there Hank. I'm with her, you need to get on that Action Figure thingy. You know full kit with Body Armor, Hands with the Kung Fu grip and a nice sheen on that Chrome dome.
Just as I'm going to miss "Breaking Bad" until season 3 begins, I'm also going to miss Hank's Blog. The Hankster tells it like it is! Well, like he sees it, anyways.
Ignorance is bliss, my friend!
Now...
where the F**K is my shirt?!!
SCHRADERBRAU ROCKS!!!
Ouch!!! You've broken my heart! =(
Hank, you've become my favorite imaginary internet friend...what am I gonna do without ya?!?
LOL LOL LOL!!!
You've earned your faithful following here, with your wit, sarcasm & of course, your teddy-bear charm! Not in the singed, pink teddy-bear way...although sometimes, you did appear a "bit toasty"! ;)
(Been smokin' a lil' EVIDENCE there, buddy? Ha ha!! J-u-u-u-st KIDDING!! )
Seriously... We truly have appreciated, whom-ever it was, that took the time to write Hank's Blog, for us!
Best wishes, to Hank aka Dean, & the shows' creator & writers, & ALL, whom bring Hank to life, for us...enjoy your break, until next season!
BTW...it's "Bewbies", for us ladies. Our magical powers, are stored there. ;) Tee hee hee...
(Plus, breasts seem SO much more interesting & intriguing, than just plain, ol' ovaries! LOL )
We'll miss ya, Hank!
Hugs!
Hey what's up gang...My first post here. My wife and I are big fans of the program as we happened to catch the very first episode and every other since. Two thumbs up to the writers, directors and actors of this awesome cliff hanger!
Don't change a thing! I just created a lens on squidoo in your honor http://squidoo.com/breaking-bad check it out and leave your feedback. We will be looking forward to next season. You guys rock! Breaking Bad is our greatest addiction!
Hank, you add so much humor to the show and I love the fact that you play a tough, street saavy cop, but with a big heart and a lot of love for his family. Thanks for all of the fun I've had watching you trade ethnic slurrs with Gomez, and the way you are slowly putting the pieces together. Can't wait until season 3, when you actually confront him?
By the way, Rosie is an angel and she is in my prayers. It was a joy to meet her.
Liz RN. (nurse at RSMC)
(When I asked "When are you going to confront him", I meant Walt, of course.) Can't wait for that!
your absolute karma is all you need to survive one more season! I dream of happy Hank in his best moment of pure mixology... his great words and magic. So incredibly fantastic, with courage and ferocity, in survival - of all we have, the last of our being.
Hank, I just gotta believe that you're on Walt's side during his "domestic troubles". The whole blow-up comes as a total surprise after the newspapers and TV show the Whites to be all love and caring over Walt's cancer. I know you've got everyone kicking in for his surgeries and chemo, but that doesn't buy a cheeseburger for an out of work chemistry teacher whose wife won't let him within spitting distance of food and shelter. Also, amigo, both Skyler and Marie are, well I can't put this diplomatically: demanding, selfish, control-freaks with big attitudes about being top hen. There's got to be more tension than you're letting on about. You're a tough guy and I'd hate to take you on. My ass just can't stand being more than five feet dislocated from the rest of my body, you know what I mean? But, Hank, they're WOMEN! God made them to punish men. They're designed for the job. You've got to be consuming mass quantities of Schrader beer or staying out of the house mucho. Tell the truth, now. Are you looking for excuses to hang with Walt? Either way, good luck, buddy, and catch the bad guys. Adios.
My first post !! Damn am I unlucky... It's 4am for me..... just finished watching the finale of season 2 (Yea I'm late.... I'm from the UK) ..... I had to bust "my" balls just to get legit ports of it.....
I spent the last two days watching every episode of season one and two.....
Totally hooked..... and BAM! You leave me waiting untill next year to find out what happens!!
Enough of that.....
Going on character....... You're like the armadillo... Hard on the outside - soft on the inside.... come on ....admit it..... you big softy you....
And heck yea..... you're gonna have fans..... I mean.... why wouldn't you??
Even my missus says your hot....... (yea thanks love) heheh....... Really looking forward to watching you work again ...... First class
.....wonder if you will actually read this =/
Guess I had better head to bed.......... buena suerte mi amigo !!
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