Hank's Blog - Call Me Susie Homemaker
There are things they don't teach you when you're training to join the DEA. I mean, they prepare you as much as it's possible to prepare someone for the lawless junkie hordes we face everyday. However, there are certain aspects of everyday life as an agent that aren't covered in training. For example, getting sweat stains out of body armor.
Look, I'm a guy -- I sweat. Sorry for being a man. I mean, I live in freaking Albuquerque, which becomes the left armpit of hell during the summer. Yeah, yeah, it's a dry heat -- my ass. The heat may be dry but I'm producing enough sweat to drown a small army. And you know, this body armor we wear does not exactly, shall we say... breathe.
Now I'd say screw it and leave the sweat stains as they are, but you know, I'm representing the DEA, so I gotta answer to the bossman. And the bossman says sweat stains are unsightly. So I gotta break out the white vinegar, do a little soak, and voila! Good as new. Of course, then you smell like vinegar. Which, come to think of it, kind of smells like B.O. Guess it's a toss up.
Well Susie Homemaker, you did say to call you that right... Anyway, the season is about to end and as sad as that is at least this year we know that you all will be returning for a third season, that's good news. If I was to have any questions it would be, will you still be blogging or saying the hell with my fans I'm going to the Bahamas to lay back on the beach and drink Margaritas? Love the show and I'm looking forward to this Sundays episode as always...
Hey there Hank, I think we went over this (Attitude) Issue a couple Blogs ago. You need to suck it up there my man, hell if need be, I dont care if you have to put an apron on when cleaning that Body armor clean, "Get er done" there Big fella and quite yer Bitchin. On a lighter note I want to send you an ata boy, I saw a well disciplined Agent Schrader there this Last episode. Sitting next to that Klepto wife of yours while she was being her normal annoying self and nodding while she was running her big mouth, Man that took some serious inner strength, way to go there Big guy. You are an assist to the Agency and Community at large. Now lets get that Body Armor cleaned...
Febreze, man, Febreze.
To quote Billy Mays:
"GET IT CLEAN, WITH OXY-CLEAN!!!!"
Ha ha...ha...ha...uhhhh....*sigh* =\
Have heard that acetone does a good job, of cleaning things up. (Ummmm...nevermind...that was for something else.)
I hope you're not thinking of putting out a housekeeping column like "Hints from Hank" (or is that Heloise?) anytime soon.........otherwise, still love ya, Hankie! "Course, this could be your second career if the DEA gig starts to falter?
Please don't turn into Billy Mays, though. Between the screaming (you could pop a blood vessel) and his hair getting blacker and blacker with every commerical because he's hitting the boot black dye too hard (you don't want a shiny black pate)......you just don't want to do that, Hank. Just keep cleaning your armor, cracking wise, and looking cute.
Please don't turn into Billy Mays, though. Between the screaming (you could pop a blood vessel) and his hair getting blacker and blacker with every commercial because he's hitting the boot black dye too hard (you don't want a shiny black pate)......you just don't want to do that, Hank. Just keep cleaning your armor, cracking wise, and looking cute.
Hank you the man, don't worry about the panic attacks your going to beat this thing! Also just give your dirty stuff to your wife I don't think she can get the stain out but I am sure she could steal you a whole new wardrobe!
Dude, you're a DEA agent... buy yourself some new armor with the drug money you find. It's the same as giving it to the Agency, just without the paperwork. Same with your weapons, and your car, and that lake lot you were looking at.
Oh Hank you can be a cutie about the vinegar rinse! LOL LOL...