Hank's Blog - You Sounded Taller on the Internet
The Hankster here again. So, I've been thinking about this whole blogging thing and wondering what the big deal is. What's the point? I know these kids are on their blogs and their Face Space or whatever the hell it is and texting all the time -- I wasn't really getting it. Who cares 
what you ate for breakfast or if Twinkles the cat is barfing all over your new throw pillow? But I was sitting there, up late, watching Smokey and the Bandit -- one of the greatest movies of all time, by the way. (I swear, if I believed in that reincarnation b.s. that those hippies down at my wife's yoga studio are always filling her head with, I would come back as Burt F-ing Reynolds, my friends. He took care of business.)
Anyway, so I'm watching Smokey and the Bandit, and it hits me. This blogging stuff is the Y2K version of CB radio. Think about it: Driving late at night, thumb up your ass, nothing to do? Hop on the CB - instant entertainment. No shortage of freak shows ready to share. Same as this Internet blogging stuff.
I miss those days. I had this sweet set up in my Trans Am. Just drive all night, talking to whoever was around. One time, like 3 AM, I'm talking to this crazy trucker who'd been up something like two weeks solid. Kinda funny now because he was probably hopped up on a crap ton of illicit substances -- I'd bust his ass on now. He was babbling about how he'd just given a ride to Elvis himself, who was apparently still alive and hitching rides all up and down the Southwest. Course if I had a nickel for every trucker with an "I gave Elvis a lift" story, I wouldn't be stuck sitting on stakeouts, smelling my partner's stale farts. (Gomie, I mean it, lay off the frijoles, my man.)
Course, I can't talk about Smokey without giving a "shout out" to the greatest show ever made - The Dukes of Hazzard. Way better than this weak crapola you got running now. All these cretinous degenerates looking for "love." Yeah, right. Looking for a serious course of antibiotics is what they should be doing, if you catch my drift.
Than you dummty's please take my advice. Men need to quit stuttering, shaking and being a bitch. Be a man, say what you want and what you know is right. I hate it when men act like scared bitches. Its not hard to stand up for yourself, but if you need help i be more than happy to step in and show you how to be a man. Please please please. this show has a chance. The men could save the show if they quit acting like scared bitch's. by the way, i'm aware i am not the best speller. infact i am terrible at english.
Than you dummty's please take my advice. Men need to quit stuttering, shaking and being a bitch. Be a man, say what you want and what you know is right. I hate it when men act like scared bitches. Its not hard to stand up for yourself, but if you need help i be more than happy to step in and show you how to be a man. Please please please. this show has a chance. The men could save the show if they quit acting like scared bitch's. by the way, i'm aware i am not the best speller. infact i am terrible at english.
Hank, I just knew you were a "Duke's" fan. Wanna know how? Three guesses and the first two don't count!
Is Rosco P. Coltrane you're hero ?
FREAK SHOWS!
Ha... You slay me, Dean!
FIRST n FOREMOST:
YOU remind me so damn much of my RETIRED COP DAD, it's eerie!
Same BALL BUISTIN, MANNLY MAN mentality shit - while still using a badge n a gun to do whatever the frack he pleased... KUDO'S... I suppose that "PART" isn't that difficult to pull off... All one need do is "pretend" that they are untouchable, and go with it!
BUT...Back to, "Speaking of Freakshows"... ( and I dig you're now a MEGA STAR n all; but - I bet there was a time when yo were eating peanut butter samitches and still DREAMING, right?)
So - gimme some slack here..
AND - Yeah - the G/P is going to bitch and moan and think I'm spamming - but - you just confirmed that sometimes THIS IS THE ONLY way to get something in front of someone who might just give a freekin toss. So - I'm chipped in baby... screw it - let 'er buck.
X IV METH PSYCHOTIC [ here ]
By the GRACE of whatever we wanna call a GOD, clean and SANE now for 14 YEARS... Yeah man - years - most never even choose to get straight - if they do - they rarely see much qualitative SOBRIETY - the shats too damn potent...
It's MY prayer, that while you all are wrackin up the emmeys and gettin bank from this TREMENDOUS SERIES, that it will flag off those who might choose to embrace the horror of METH. Quite a bit of your scripting coulda been MY life awhile back; yeah - no shit.
We've got kind of unique Public Outreach started here. An NFP to help families who are keeping their extended family KIDS outa CPS control, when those kids have METH AFFECTED BIO PARENTS.
"BIKERS" doin a hella lot more here than a Toy Run.
ironic notion that... "BIKERS"? Aren't they the ones made the damn market?
ONE SIMPLE CLICK "HANK"..
I won't link the web domain on your blog baby - cause that would make me look the total "DICK".. So - just take the little pointer finger and use the millisecond to click my profile and there you have it.
FREAK SHOW 101.
That's it dude.
Won't clutter up your house here with any more pleas - you have the resources to check us out and assure I'm not yankin your chain and tryin to pull a fast one here.
We got's the paperwork - sendin' the 1023, 501c3 paperwork off April 3rd.
We'd be honored if you'd just take a damn shirt man - that's the pitch. Mr. DEA.
I'm a fan, will remain one regardless... I just don't sleep well until I reach out to every potential resource.
Freak Shows... (Posin with dead bodies, yeeehaw baby)
Just give it the domain a bit of your attention. It's got potential.
thanx man...
gypsy
good stuff!
Dude you are great in your role. You really do an outstanding job. You present the DEA agent as dedicated, street smart and serious and yet I also see him as average intelligence, unrefined and and kinda of a dope. An accurate depiction of most blue color cops. Simple Joes with a badge and a gun.
Funny stuff! Love ya, "Hank"! We watch every weekend. Didn't miss one show last season and don't plan on missing any this season. You are a RIOT. The entire cast rocks but you add a lil' somthin' somethin' to the show...it would not be the same show without you. AWESOME! We are happy for your success!
Thanks guys. It's really nice to get all this positive feedback. Well, except that whole "unrefined" thing. Gomie, is that you? Ah, I'm just kidding... Anyway, I really appreciate you guys taking the time to read this stuff and respond.
DRKellogg: I'm guessing a little birdie may have told you about my wedding attire..? Now that was a look (although my bride was not exactly thrilled). You know, it may deserve its own entry now that I think about it.
Hey Hank,
How's that Albq Green Chili treatin ya? I used to hike right up the road from your tv house in Embudo canyon off tramway, you would love it.
check it out!
AlbqKid
Damn man--beautiful touch on the raised eyebrows (at Jesse) at the window on tonight's episode---comedic nuance at it's finest! Less is more--definitely a whiff of the Coen Brothers, and "The Shield" on this show--excellent stuff! Come to think of it, they oughta write Vic Mackey in a show as your scumbag Cop bother/cousin.
Curious-who is the funniest on the set?
Wow! How did I miss reading this blog again?
To be fair to Hank, we never got to see what Marie wore to her wedding! My guess is she was dressed as a Southern belle.
You have got to love Hank's humor!!